one attempt at one-eyed brunch [21/??? artefacts collected]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ It's been almost a week since ex-mafia!Philip had a very unfortunate event run-in with still-mafia!Dean. The result? His previous Wonderland lives are still intact, but he's down one eye and his arm isn't doing so well either. And that's the understatement of the day

Comments

[dashboardlite]

[It's been almost a week since he donned a pin-striped suit and called himself a hitman. Almost a week since he slithered through the dregs of Wonderland's society with incomparable ease, shmoozing all types of people, challenging the cops, sucking down cigarettes like he was addicted to nicotine. Dean still can't wash the ashy taste out of his mouth

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ Besides lying in bed all week, feeling miserable and stuffed like a painkiller pinata? Nope.

...Philip might have to paraphrase that a little. ]

Not... not really, no.

[ Add salt and a few herbs and the eggs wander into the frying pan.

As he watches them Philip tries to think back to before the event to anything that might count as exciting or at least make for a little conversation, but recalling information in his current state of mind is not exactly-- Ohh!

Hey, um... did you-- Did you ever hunt, um... a mummy? I mean, do- do they exist?

[dashboardlite]

[The bacon is almost done, and smells so damn good that he's tempted to grab a piece right out of the damn pan. Why had he thought that not eating was a good idea? Not eating is never a good idea.

Pouring his own eggs into a pan and stirring them up, occasionally adding cheese, Dean waits for Philip to scrounge up a better reply and practically snorts when he hears it.]

A mummy? What, like...like a Boris Karloff mummy?

[Dean shakes his head. Adds more cheese.]

Zombies exist, but mummies don't. Only reason zombies can be animated at all is 'cause of the flesh. A mummy's all skin and bones, right? Sucker would turn to dust before it could get its hands around your neck.

[Psssshhhhh, duh.]

Why d'you ask? Didn't see one around, didja?

[sadfreezingbrit]

I... I guess, something like that.

[ Exactly like that, actually. But alas, it's been too long since Philip's last Mummy screening for him to be jumped by the parallels.

As such Dean's words are fairly reassuring. ]

No. [ Huff. ] I didn't. But-- Never mind.

[ Time to stir those eggs with great concentration.

...

...

... ]

...It's just I met an [ sort of but unfortunately not really ] Egyptiologist here who was on this expedition to er, to find the City of the Dead.

We talked about a few things and- and she mentioned this priest and how some people might want to make sure he wasn't brought back from the dead and...

I guess I was just wondering if it's possible, that's all.

1/2

[dashboardlite]

[From a logical standpoint, mummies could definitely be real if they were zombies and weren't 90% shrink-wrapped and petrified.]

Well...curses exist, sure, so if some crazy Egyptian sonuvabitch made a deal with a demon, then I guess it could happen.

[But this is not the important part of the conversation. The important part of the conversation is that Philip met a girl. Dean is fairly certain that he knows who most of the chicks are in the mansion, and an Egyptowhatsit isn't on his list of feminine Wonderland residents.

This is important enough that Dean finishes cooking his eggs and the bacon, serves himself a hearty plate with both foodstuffs, and turns off the stove.]

Now, be honest with me, dude.

2/2

[dashboardlite]

[He sits at the counter island and points a fork at Philip.]

Is she cute?

1/2

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ Philip listens while putting the finishing touches on his breakfast. For him tombs have come to spell disaster in bold and blinking letters. As such he would have liked an indication that Evelyn wasn't about to take a trip doomwards, but all he got was a movie recommendation. Well. Beats not getting anything at all. And he really should see that movie again sometime... ]

Mh. Right.

[ The egg transition from pan to plate takes a little longer than he'd like, but eventually he joins Dean at the table, fork in hand and-- And pausing to prepare for what sounds like a serious and very important question. ]

2/2

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ ...Except that it isn't and he really should have seen this coming. ]

Why? You aren't thinking of branching out, are you?

[dashboardlite]

That's hilarious, Romeo. In case it escaped your notice, I'm actually in a committed relationship.

[Not that it isn't hard, and that he's not occasionally tempted, but he's trying. It's difficult to break something that's practically hard-wired into his system.

Regardless, the question has absolutely nothing to do with Dean.]

But this isn't about me. This is about you. And Egypt lady. So answer the question.

[Remember what happened the last time you refused to answer the question, Philip? You were almost dubbed Sir Limey Fruitcake.

Don't make that mistake again.]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ Philip received the notice, thank you very much. Hence the carefully chosen "branching out" rather than a plain "make a move on". Sadly neither seems to help much in ending that line of questioning, not when Dean's look says that he's not just letting go of that one.

No longer holding his breath to prepare for an Important QuestionTM Philip first makes a point of sampling his scrambled eggs in all their bell peppered deliciousness. ]

Her name's Evelyn, er... Carnahan.

[ Just dropping that piece of information so Dean doesn't do around calling her Egypt lady. Which he probably will anyway, but at least now Philip can say that he tried. ]

She's...

[ Chewing... chewing... chewing... ]

...nice. She works in Cairo, translating and... cataloguing. Really-

[ Sip of coffee. ]

-interesting to talk to.

[dashboardlite]

[Helping himself to his own breakfast, Dean watches Philip curiously.

He isn't promoting his new friend very well. Either he's worried that Dean is going to make a move on her - yeah, right, Cas would kill him - or the subject is just awkward.

Since when did Dean care about awkward?]

Wow, Phil, you could sell ice to an Eskimo. Nice? I ask you a critical question and all you give me is nice? What are you, scared of cooties?

[Seriously dude, ninety percent of the chicks here are eighteen and under, this is important.]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ All of the following isn't so much said as rattled off at conspicuously accelerated speed. ]

So what, you need to know if she's attractive? She's attractive. Are you happy now or do you want a rating from one to ten?

[ The subject isn't awkward. He isn't worried that Dean is going to make a move on her. So why did the question make him feel uncomfortable?

More chewing. Philip would really like an answer to that himself. ]

[dashboardlite]

[Dean loves it when Philip loses his cool. It's hilarious because it doesn't happen very often.]

Whoa, slow down, tiger - no need to get your panties in a wad. S'just an innocent question.

[A question dripping with innocence. Smothered in it, even. You can tell because of the harmless, well-meaning smile. That, my good man, is the face of an angel.]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ As is this, but that doesn't mean there is anything harmless or well-meaning about it. ]

I'm sure it was.

[ Philip's gentle STAB into the scrambled eggs hits a piece of bell pepper. He points the fork at Dean's plate. ]

If you're bored with that yet you can try some of mine.

[dashboardlite]

[Luci Philip, you got some 'splaining to dooooo.]

I think I'll stick with my pepper-free cheesy eggs, thanks.

[The eggs he has almost finished inhaling, as a matter of fact. Dean pushes the plate of bacon he cooked across the counter and grins wider. His mood is almost always improved by Philip's impeccable bitching, and having new people in the mansion is kind of nice.

Unless they're crazy scientists bent on world-domination, but hey. You can't have everything.]

So Egypt lady talked about mummies?

[Dean is pretty sure that the only thing he knows about Egypt is that the King Tut dude had a whole lot of gold and all the important people involved in the dig died mysteriously.]

I didn't know those were still big. Egypt ain't exactly a safe place, the last time I checked. She's not from now, is she?

[He's gotten used to asking about time periods. There's just no telling anymore.]

[sadfreezingbrit]

1926. [ A beat. ]

And it wasn't mummies per se, just a- [ Let him see if he remembers that correctly. ] a legend about a high priest and a book that supposedly has the ability to raise the dead, the sort of thing that--

[ His fork taps the plate, expression just a little darker. ]

Just the sort of thing you see in films, the can't possibly be true kind, except that it always is.