I'm so lonely.

It's been nine years almost... he was missing today and today is the day i woke up knowing my daddy was gone. who was he? who is he to me? have i erased all the memories why can i not see his face anymore. i keep getting triggered into thinking about him lately. the guard in the ukraine kissed us and he always has a scratchy face on my cheek and it ( Read more... )

I am going to the Ukraine in a week. damn. I will already be on the plane to the Ukraine at this time. I cannot believe I am going and I secretly hope to run away and tour Europe and never come back. There is nothing for me here really. I am too far from any good friends and the friends that are near are transparent and low. the guy who is like my ( Read more... )

"Come On, Come Out ( Read more... )

I miss Nicaragua every day I wake up. I want to runaway anywhere but here. i cannot explain it ( Read more... )

i am waiting for something amazing to happen... but i do not think it will perhaps i will find some answers or better questions to ask in nicaragua...only 11-12 days away depending on how you look at it

the school cited him for 7 citations. he is not allowed to live in his complex anymore. he is not allowed to live in his room anymore... and more. so many mixed feelings but i must keep my head up and realize i should not feel bad at all....

more than anything in life right now i want love. all i want is to love and be loved. i want to love myself my family and my friends. i want to find that one person in the universe who completes me and makes me feel better than i probably should. i want to know that i did not fuck up with this whole sexual assault incident. i want to know that i am ( Read more... )

Tomorrow-Wed. at 1pm I have a meeting to discuss the incident. I think that nothing is really going to happen to him as he stated that it was bullshit and was consensual. i am glad the storm is almost finally over. 

i feel very lonely. john mayer comforts me.

Some of us, We're hardly ever here
The rest of us, we're born to disappear
How do I stop myself from
Being just a number
How will I hold my head
To keep from going under

Down to the wire
I wanted water but
I'll walk through the fire
If this is what it takes
To take me even higher
Then I'll come through
( Read more... )