I'm not missing God. i know this because i know he's there, i feel him. he's not pissed at me either, which is double wierd. i know, right now i sound psychotic, but this is how God and I work. I don't look at God as this power hungry dictator...God's my best friend, the dude i go to to talk about everything, besides ya can't hide shit from God. I ( Read more... )

Played a good old fashion game of tackle football today...it was alot of fun, had a sweet long touchdown run... got a bloody lip, bruised knee... much pain. but it was worth it. i feel so drained yet so alive too ya know? it forgot i had that in me, i forgot how good it feels to catch the ball and run soemone over. i feel kinda bad though because ( Read more... )

there i am at midnight bowling, with the chance to win over $400 if i just knock over these 4 pins which are all close to eachother, and what do i do? i gutter ball it. i had the right idea seeing the pins were all to one side, but i shanked it and lost out on $400 that i REALLY need. I'm just not lucky at all with that sort of stuff. I just ( Read more... )

I'm going out tonight and i just don't ahve a great feeling. Uncomfortable, yes, i'm going to a club with my ex-girlfriend, her sister, and her roomate. But its wierd, because they really wanted me to go, and so i am, but it just seems wierd, because they didn't act this way before, and now they are...i'm having a tough time believing that they ( Read more... )

Why can't I have a story book ending? You always see in a romantic comedy film the main character fuck up with his dream girl and in the end she magically appears, and they end up together, with a huge romantic kiss. I don't understand why movies have to be so untrue. I know, it's just not my time, it's not the right one, it's not meant to be; I've ( Read more... )

Do any of you bastards ever write in here anymore?

Deep inside me is something i can't truly describe. words like pain, lonliness, anger, sadness, inadequecy. Part of this feeling lies with the thousands whom have lost their lives in the wake of a devistating tragedy. but it is deeper. it's always been there. that feeling like i am absolutely alone. my family is loving, supportive, caring, i love ( Read more... )

Once again i sit here on a night in which i was looking forward to something to do, some excitment in my boring, almost pointless life. Yet all the hopes i had which were once so alive and possible are now dead and gone. more disappointment, to a disappointing day. today i learned that i now work 48 hours a week instead of 40, while going to school ( Read more... )

so i met a girl, she's really cool, got alot in common with her. not sure if she likes me or what have you, but i am interested. she's really cute, kinda shy. the question of the hour is wether i should make a move or not. this is gonna sound really cocky and arrogant, but unfortunately it makes perfect sence ( Read more... )

today, well actually now yesterday, began a new beginning for me. for those of you who read this whom have followed my life, especially my love life, you're going to role your eyes with this, i don't blame you, i would. i'm not looking for comments, more i'm looking for listeners, i use this thing to vent, so here it goes ( Read more... )