In five months I have lost my fiance, my family, my exam results, my money and my mind ( Read more... )

I should call it a day and admit defeat and crawl back into bed... but there's something I feel like I want to do. Something, wrong. It's like, as soon as I'm alone the most fucked up ways to fuck you up thoughts just enter my head and dive around ( Read more... )

Freaking out
this is the first time in ever that I don't know exactly how much I weigh right now. It's an awful feeling - I mean I've always known ( Read more... )

I find it hilarious that at my lowest weight I still have the words 'gross and disgusting' lodged in my head ( Read more... )

bleh. 6kg less than I used to be but still gross and disgusting ( Read more... )

Where is the purgatorium now ( Read more... )

I will always return,
( Read more... )

2am. Swollen, tear stained eyes made my face feel puffy, which made me feel like I was literally drowning and suffocating in myself. I stood in the shower, not washing, just letting the water beat at me whilst cleansing me. 2am, I didn't bother being quiet ( Read more... )

Yessssss.

Next step - make coffee contain less sugar and milk.

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Exhausted. Been awake far too long. Far, far, far too busy. a lot of crying. grieving.

toast.
2 Bounty bars
a few pringles
1 egg, scrambled.

+ Coffee, Coffee, Coffee - stay awake
work.

Tomorrow let's see if the scale shows how exhausted I am, I wonder.

This entry was originally posted at Read more... )