[One-shot] Fear - Final Part
[ Part 6 ]
Time passed and Christmas was already at the corner. As always, the end of the year was the meaning of a tight schedule for the Arashi members. They hardly had the time to enjoy Christmas’ spirit like normal people between interviews, practices for TV shows and Johnny’s annual concert. Even though, one night the two lovers had spent a wonderful time together. They both had fun making dinner, trying a new recipe that was harder than on the paper but more importantly, they made love to each other that night. It was awkward at first of course, Sho was scared and asked several times to wait a little more, but thanks to Jun’s gentleness, care and patience, they did it and he was sure that Sho would get ride off his fears little by little and once and for all.
A few days later, Jun was walking down the street as he went to the nearest convenient store to buy groceries; Sho was leaving the next day for a week to shoot a special report for News Zero and the couple had decided to spend the night together. Despite the cold air and the snow in the streets, a lot of people were enjoying the night outside, a few couples kissing in the park while others were having diner in restaurants.
As he was heading back, something caught Jun’s attention. The title of an article on the front page of a magazine to be exact. Jun remembered that Sho had an interview a few days earlier but he never mentioned there were pictures with the interview. Since Arashi had resumed their activities, Sho always had trouble with photos. However, this time the pictures were very good. The one on the cover was already great in itself but as Jun read the interview and looked carefully at the pictures on the side, he couldn’t help but felt proud of his lover. On the photos, Sho was wearing white jeans, a purple and white shirt and a dark blue velvet vest. Jun’s favorite photo was certainly the full page one (which was certainly the favorite of the staff as well if they decided to put it on a full page). Sho was slightly on the side, his mild-long hair surrounding his round face prettily, a few strands falling in front of his eyes and a soft smile on his face. It had been long since Jun didn’t see such a perfect picture of Sakurai Sho.
Jun bought the magazine and headed home quickly, eager to have a talk with Sho about this interview.
When he came in, Sho was sitting in the sofa, his laptop on his lap and reading some news about economics. Jun threw the magazine on Sho’s lap and waited some explanation from his lover, his arms akimbo.
Sho looked at the main page before lifting his face and he looked at Jun, perplexed.
“What?”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you did great during that shooting?” Jun asked, even though his tone sounded more happy than angry.
Sho blushed and avoided Jun’s eyes. “Well I didn’t know if I did great or what. It’s just that for the first time I didn’t feel shy or embarrassed.”
Jun sat near Sho and hugged him strongly. “You should have told me! What happened? Did you realize something?”
Sho shook his head and still refused to look at Jun. “It was…the day after…” Sho’s cheeks became redder and he cleared his throat before he kept his explanation. “the day after we did it.” He said quickly.
It was Jun’s turn to blush.
“I realized,” Sho started “that night that I’m not as disgusting as I thought. What he did was sordid but there’s no reason that I feel horrible. Feeling your touch, Jun,” he took Jun’s hand in his. “feeling that you loved me despite what happened, that you wanted me even after that. You showed me that sex between two people could be a wonderful thing when there are feelings. You opened my eyes and since that night I stopped to feel guilty. I’ve never had the time to say you that before but I think it’s the right time.” Sho paused for a second, taking a deep breath. “Thank you.” He whispered, his eyes looking right into Jun’s. “Thank you for helping me. It was hard I know, but you never left me, you never gave up and for that I truly want to thank you.”
Jun’s grip tightened around Sho’s hand and that was at that moment that Sho realized that his lover was crying.
Jun shook his head, wiping his tears with the back of his free hand. “It was worth it. Believe me Sho, it was worth it.” Jun said in a strangle voice before crying more against Sho’s chest.
It is useless to say that that night they shared an intimate and full of love moment. They finally found each other for real and destiny had decided to give them that the night before they had to part for a whole week.
One week could seem very long for a couple. And it was for Jun and Sho. They called each other several times every day, spend the whole night over the phone until sleep took them, but still both of them wanted only one thing: to be at each other’s side as soon as possible. For the first time, Jun really hated the fact that his lover was a newscaster because it meant that Sho was away from him. Jun wasn’t really protective but he had never felt for someone as much as he did for Sho. All the obstacles they had faced had brought them closer than they never did.
Sho never told Jun the topic of his reporting and Jun didn’t really try to discover the truth. Of course he enjoyed Sho’s reporting very much because it was easy to understand so whatever it was about Jun would wait and discover the real thing during airing time.
The night before the airing, Sho told Jun that this reporting was very important to him and that he dedicated it to Jun. It made Jun curious, so on Monday, Jun made sure that he would be free to watch it calmly at home. Since it was a live airing, Sho was still on the site and would finally come back the next day.
Jun was sitting on the sofa, wearing casual but comfortable clothes. He had made diner for himself (for the last time he cheered himself) and was reading to eat it while watching Sho.
Murao-san and the rest of the crew had their time, Sho’s report was the last one, they had announced. During the commercial, Jun was growing impatient. Despite all his effort to make Sho talk he didn’t know what it was about. Maybe it was about Arashi? A special report from the inside? But if that was the case, there were no reason for Sho to do live broadcasting from Osaka.
Finally the News Zero theme song was heard and Jun sat more comfortably on his sofa as Sho appeared on the screen. Jun couldn’t help but smiled as he saw Sho’s face (the first time since a week) on the screen. He was smiling politely at the camera, even though Jun could feel that the topic of his report was somehow serious.
And it really was.
“Good evening. Tonight is a special Ichimen as I, Sakurai Sho, am in Osaka in front of ‘Never Alone Association’s building’. Tonight, I will talk to you about a serious but obscure social phenomenon. I truly think that images explain better than words, so I let you watch this VTR to discover the use of ‘Never Alone Association’.”
Jun shifted a bit on the sofa, he hadn’t touched his plate yet and the strange feeling he had in his stomach as he watched the VTR made him lost his appetite.
Never Alone Association was a clinic build in 2004 in Osaka. Only men were accepted and more particularly, men who had been abducted. The VTR showed how the staff from the clinic took care of their patient; they had therapy, medical exams and re-socialization meetings. Sho’s voice could be heard as he explained the issue and how the patients felt. It explained why such a clinic existed with the help of anonymous’ interviews from the patients themselves. Some of them explained how alone they felt in their situation. For some of them it was because after they had told the truth they’ve been left by their family and their friends who felt unable to handle such a burden but for most of them, they simply shut themselves to the rest of the world, feeling guilty or ashamed. Professor Asamura, 52 years old and former psychologist in Tokyo had decided to open ‘Never Alone Association’ in order to help those men after he had realized that male rape was becoming an important and serious issue. It was the first and only clinic that was dedicated to such social phenomenon in whole Japan.
Jun was totally absorbed by the reporting, he felt bad for the men who were interviewed because they didn’t have someone to help them but more importantly he felt bad because never did he realized, even after what happened to Sho, that male rape was so important.
Once the VTR ended, Sho’s serious face appeared on the screen again. He talked in live with Murao-san who asked him several question about the conditions of the clinic and how everything worked. He even asked how Sho felt towards the men he had met.
Unexpectedly, Sho smiled genuinely. He explained that he was glad to have the chance to produce such a special broadcast because even though the topic was serious and sad, it showed that those people weren’t forgotten, that they were people who were there to help them to find the courage to live normally again.
“As Professor Asamura said, ‘it will take time but one day those men will be able to face other people without shame and just for that I’m proud of this clinic and of all the staff’. To end this special report I would like to quote one of the men that didn’t want to be showed in the VTR;” Sho said seriously.
“’No matter how much you hate yourself because there will always be one person who truly loves you and to help you and even just for that it’s worth to live.’ This was Sakurai Sho for Ichimen.”
Jun watched the screen for a few minutes, even after News Zero had ended. The first thing he did when he came back to reality was to grab his phone and type Sho an e-mail (he knew that Sho couldn’t answer a phone call at the moment since he was surrounded by his co-workers). Jun congratulated Sho for his reporting, telling him that he had learned a lot of things and that he was moved.
Sho’s reply came fast. Only a few words ‘I wanted to tell you that in front of you but I think it’s the right moment.’
Jun didn’t have the time to send back a message as his phone vibrated in his hand. Sho’s name flashed on the black screen and Jun answered right away.
“I love you.” Said Sho’s gentle voice through the phone.
Jun couldn’t help but smile shyly, biting his bottom lip.
“Idiot.” He chuckled. “Come back quickly and tell me that again in front of me if you’re truly a man.”
Sho’s laugh could be heard and he ended the call with one last sentence. “This is a promise.”
[FIN]
***
Note: So I finally post it on my journal. I have to admit that I don't know what to think of this story :/ I've been working on it for more than 3 months without realizing. I don't know why I wrote about such a serious matter, the idea just came in my mind one night and didn't left me until I completed the story. One funny thing is that the reference to Evanescence's song wasn't in the original idea. It just came in as I wrote and since then I thought it resumes the fanfiction perfectly. I'm not even a fan of Evanescence's work to begin with ^^"
I do hope that the few who read enjoyed it even though it's not a sweet story but the end is, in my opinion, the best end. It's not a fluffly end but (still in my opinion) a positive and realistic one.
Sorry for the several parts.... I just realize how long the story is and I didn't plan to cut the story into several parts so I tried my best to cut it in the best moment....
I want to particularly thank Kos-sama, who read it (despite not liking angst stuff and Sakumoto isn't her OTP) and convinced me to publish it. I asked someone to to the beta for me (If you're reading it, just tell me you're fine because I'm a bit worried >_<) but I don't have news from her since two month or so and I just want to get ride off of this story.
About my next work, well I don't have something to work on right now and my work is just getting tiring (I work during night and sleep the whole day, sorry ^^") but I'm sure that when my contract will end (in 4 weeks) I'll be back to writting. I have a few ideas but nothing serious....maybe I'll write a sequel of one of my previous sorry, who knows? I'm interested in a sequel for Myth or maybe one about the Sakumoto in the FF universe ^^" We'll see!
Have a nice week and take care of you.
Thank you for reading.
Time passed and Christmas was already at the corner. As always, the end of the year was the meaning of a tight schedule for the Arashi members. They hardly had the time to enjoy Christmas’ spirit like normal people between interviews, practices for TV shows and Johnny’s annual concert. Even though, one night the two lovers had spent a wonderful time together. They both had fun making dinner, trying a new recipe that was harder than on the paper but more importantly, they made love to each other that night. It was awkward at first of course, Sho was scared and asked several times to wait a little more, but thanks to Jun’s gentleness, care and patience, they did it and he was sure that Sho would get ride off his fears little by little and once and for all.
A few days later, Jun was walking down the street as he went to the nearest convenient store to buy groceries; Sho was leaving the next day for a week to shoot a special report for News Zero and the couple had decided to spend the night together. Despite the cold air and the snow in the streets, a lot of people were enjoying the night outside, a few couples kissing in the park while others were having diner in restaurants.
As he was heading back, something caught Jun’s attention. The title of an article on the front page of a magazine to be exact. Jun remembered that Sho had an interview a few days earlier but he never mentioned there were pictures with the interview. Since Arashi had resumed their activities, Sho always had trouble with photos. However, this time the pictures were very good. The one on the cover was already great in itself but as Jun read the interview and looked carefully at the pictures on the side, he couldn’t help but felt proud of his lover. On the photos, Sho was wearing white jeans, a purple and white shirt and a dark blue velvet vest. Jun’s favorite photo was certainly the full page one (which was certainly the favorite of the staff as well if they decided to put it on a full page). Sho was slightly on the side, his mild-long hair surrounding his round face prettily, a few strands falling in front of his eyes and a soft smile on his face. It had been long since Jun didn’t see such a perfect picture of Sakurai Sho.
Jun bought the magazine and headed home quickly, eager to have a talk with Sho about this interview.
When he came in, Sho was sitting in the sofa, his laptop on his lap and reading some news about economics. Jun threw the magazine on Sho’s lap and waited some explanation from his lover, his arms akimbo.
Sho looked at the main page before lifting his face and he looked at Jun, perplexed.
“What?”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you did great during that shooting?” Jun asked, even though his tone sounded more happy than angry.
Sho blushed and avoided Jun’s eyes. “Well I didn’t know if I did great or what. It’s just that for the first time I didn’t feel shy or embarrassed.”
Jun sat near Sho and hugged him strongly. “You should have told me! What happened? Did you realize something?”
Sho shook his head and still refused to look at Jun. “It was…the day after…” Sho’s cheeks became redder and he cleared his throat before he kept his explanation. “the day after we did it.” He said quickly.
It was Jun’s turn to blush.
“I realized,” Sho started “that night that I’m not as disgusting as I thought. What he did was sordid but there’s no reason that I feel horrible. Feeling your touch, Jun,” he took Jun’s hand in his. “feeling that you loved me despite what happened, that you wanted me even after that. You showed me that sex between two people could be a wonderful thing when there are feelings. You opened my eyes and since that night I stopped to feel guilty. I’ve never had the time to say you that before but I think it’s the right time.” Sho paused for a second, taking a deep breath. “Thank you.” He whispered, his eyes looking right into Jun’s. “Thank you for helping me. It was hard I know, but you never left me, you never gave up and for that I truly want to thank you.”
Jun’s grip tightened around Sho’s hand and that was at that moment that Sho realized that his lover was crying.
Jun shook his head, wiping his tears with the back of his free hand. “It was worth it. Believe me Sho, it was worth it.” Jun said in a strangle voice before crying more against Sho’s chest.
It is useless to say that that night they shared an intimate and full of love moment. They finally found each other for real and destiny had decided to give them that the night before they had to part for a whole week.
One week could seem very long for a couple. And it was for Jun and Sho. They called each other several times every day, spend the whole night over the phone until sleep took them, but still both of them wanted only one thing: to be at each other’s side as soon as possible. For the first time, Jun really hated the fact that his lover was a newscaster because it meant that Sho was away from him. Jun wasn’t really protective but he had never felt for someone as much as he did for Sho. All the obstacles they had faced had brought them closer than they never did.
Sho never told Jun the topic of his reporting and Jun didn’t really try to discover the truth. Of course he enjoyed Sho’s reporting very much because it was easy to understand so whatever it was about Jun would wait and discover the real thing during airing time.
The night before the airing, Sho told Jun that this reporting was very important to him and that he dedicated it to Jun. It made Jun curious, so on Monday, Jun made sure that he would be free to watch it calmly at home. Since it was a live airing, Sho was still on the site and would finally come back the next day.
Jun was sitting on the sofa, wearing casual but comfortable clothes. He had made diner for himself (for the last time he cheered himself) and was reading to eat it while watching Sho.
Murao-san and the rest of the crew had their time, Sho’s report was the last one, they had announced. During the commercial, Jun was growing impatient. Despite all his effort to make Sho talk he didn’t know what it was about. Maybe it was about Arashi? A special report from the inside? But if that was the case, there were no reason for Sho to do live broadcasting from Osaka.
Finally the News Zero theme song was heard and Jun sat more comfortably on his sofa as Sho appeared on the screen. Jun couldn’t help but smiled as he saw Sho’s face (the first time since a week) on the screen. He was smiling politely at the camera, even though Jun could feel that the topic of his report was somehow serious.
And it really was.
“Good evening. Tonight is a special Ichimen as I, Sakurai Sho, am in Osaka in front of ‘Never Alone Association’s building’. Tonight, I will talk to you about a serious but obscure social phenomenon. I truly think that images explain better than words, so I let you watch this VTR to discover the use of ‘Never Alone Association’.”
Jun shifted a bit on the sofa, he hadn’t touched his plate yet and the strange feeling he had in his stomach as he watched the VTR made him lost his appetite.
Never Alone Association was a clinic build in 2004 in Osaka. Only men were accepted and more particularly, men who had been abducted. The VTR showed how the staff from the clinic took care of their patient; they had therapy, medical exams and re-socialization meetings. Sho’s voice could be heard as he explained the issue and how the patients felt. It explained why such a clinic existed with the help of anonymous’ interviews from the patients themselves. Some of them explained how alone they felt in their situation. For some of them it was because after they had told the truth they’ve been left by their family and their friends who felt unable to handle such a burden but for most of them, they simply shut themselves to the rest of the world, feeling guilty or ashamed. Professor Asamura, 52 years old and former psychologist in Tokyo had decided to open ‘Never Alone Association’ in order to help those men after he had realized that male rape was becoming an important and serious issue. It was the first and only clinic that was dedicated to such social phenomenon in whole Japan.
Jun was totally absorbed by the reporting, he felt bad for the men who were interviewed because they didn’t have someone to help them but more importantly he felt bad because never did he realized, even after what happened to Sho, that male rape was so important.
Once the VTR ended, Sho’s serious face appeared on the screen again. He talked in live with Murao-san who asked him several question about the conditions of the clinic and how everything worked. He even asked how Sho felt towards the men he had met.
Unexpectedly, Sho smiled genuinely. He explained that he was glad to have the chance to produce such a special broadcast because even though the topic was serious and sad, it showed that those people weren’t forgotten, that they were people who were there to help them to find the courage to live normally again.
“As Professor Asamura said, ‘it will take time but one day those men will be able to face other people without shame and just for that I’m proud of this clinic and of all the staff’. To end this special report I would like to quote one of the men that didn’t want to be showed in the VTR;” Sho said seriously.
“’No matter how much you hate yourself because there will always be one person who truly loves you and to help you and even just for that it’s worth to live.’ This was Sakurai Sho for Ichimen.”
Jun watched the screen for a few minutes, even after News Zero had ended. The first thing he did when he came back to reality was to grab his phone and type Sho an e-mail (he knew that Sho couldn’t answer a phone call at the moment since he was surrounded by his co-workers). Jun congratulated Sho for his reporting, telling him that he had learned a lot of things and that he was moved.
Sho’s reply came fast. Only a few words ‘I wanted to tell you that in front of you but I think it’s the right moment.’
Jun didn’t have the time to send back a message as his phone vibrated in his hand. Sho’s name flashed on the black screen and Jun answered right away.
“I love you.” Said Sho’s gentle voice through the phone.
Jun couldn’t help but smile shyly, biting his bottom lip.
“Idiot.” He chuckled. “Come back quickly and tell me that again in front of me if you’re truly a man.”
Sho’s laugh could be heard and he ended the call with one last sentence. “This is a promise.”
[FIN]
***
Note: So I finally post it on my journal. I have to admit that I don't know what to think of this story :/ I've been working on it for more than 3 months without realizing. I don't know why I wrote about such a serious matter, the idea just came in my mind one night and didn't left me until I completed the story. One funny thing is that the reference to Evanescence's song wasn't in the original idea. It just came in as I wrote and since then I thought it resumes the fanfiction perfectly. I'm not even a fan of Evanescence's work to begin with ^^"
I do hope that the few who read enjoyed it even though it's not a sweet story but the end is, in my opinion, the best end. It's not a fluffly end but (still in my opinion) a positive and realistic one.
Sorry for the several parts.... I just realize how long the story is and I didn't plan to cut the story into several parts so I tried my best to cut it in the best moment....
I want to particularly thank Kos-sama, who read it (despite not liking angst stuff and Sakumoto isn't her OTP) and convinced me to publish it. I asked someone to to the beta for me (If you're reading it, just tell me you're fine because I'm a bit worried >_<) but I don't have news from her since two month or so and I just want to get ride off of this story.
About my next work, well I don't have something to work on right now and my work is just getting tiring (I work during night and sleep the whole day, sorry ^^") but I'm sure that when my contract will end (in 4 weeks) I'll be back to writting. I have a few ideas but nothing serious....maybe I'll write a sequel of one of my previous sorry, who knows? I'm interested in a sequel for Myth or maybe one about the Sakumoto in the FF universe ^^" We'll see!
Have a nice week and take care of you.
Thank you for reading.