[FIC] Star Trek: Then, Suddenly, Life Changed [5/6] (Kirk/McCoy, R)

[salvaged_pride]

Title: Then, Suddenly, Life Changed [5/6]
Authors: salvaged_pride and sullacat
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: R for language and sexual situations
Summary: In honor of the one year anniversary of the movie, an AU - What if Leonard McCoy had been at the bar that night? Two men, a cycle, and a trip that changes their lives. 9745 words -- Look

Comments

[gwynraven]

Poor Jim. Poor Bones. How *are* you going to fix this with only one chapter left?

[salvaged_pride]

You'll have to wait and see! Tuesday morning! ^_^

[syredronning]

Waaaaaaaaaaaah JIM!

*whines* I understand him but hell, this is going to hurt Bones in the morning :((((

This part was both super-hot and rather painful at once. Great work.

The only thing I wished to be different would have been the Pike-Jim discussion as the words that worked well in the bar somehow didn't work for me there in that office. But that's just me :)

[salvaged_pride]

*concerned* As I wrote that part... do you have any idea what about it didn't work? I went with the pre-editted version of the script instead of the except movie script as I thought it flowed a little better in the scene. Any feed back you could give is good, as I always like to improve.

[syredronning]

I think the picture doesn't work for me - when Jim sees it there, Pike would IMO catch that and use the shot as a connection between them, like the dissertation but even better. I can't see him just sitting there and talking without noting exactly what Jim does.

[EDIT for clarification: I loved the picture per se and Pike/George is a favorite of mine, it just doesn't work for me to have the picture there without the backstory coming up as a subject somehow.]

But really, it's a small thing compared to the whole, which is a really great, touching and hot AU that I thoroughly enjoy :)

[salvaged_pride]

*nods* Understood. Trust me, Pike definitely did notice what Jim was doing, I think I just didn't make it pronounced as much as I should have in his words. I thought about it, adding more and having Pike point out the connection more thoroughly, but was trying to stick to the movie script (the speaking parts are 100% the pre-editted script vocally). Thank you though! I'll take it into consideration. ^_^

[weepingnaiad]

Oh, Jim! I'm torn between wanting to hug him and wanting to slap him! Bones is going to be very upset in the morning. He opened himself up and his offer was basically rejected.

*sigh*

I loved the chapter, enjoyed Pike and how you reworked their conversation, especially loved the picture of Pike and George (always part of my personal canon)!

I expect you ladies to finish this happily. *glares*

Lovely!

[salvaged_pride]

I think Bones is 99% of the time torn between those two emotions. *laughs*

Jim just doesn't know how to handle the idea of someone giving a damn about him. Not at this point in his life, at least.

Pike/George is a huge part of my own personal canon as well~ <3

No, not glares! *cowers* You'll have to find out on Tuesday when the next chapter comes out!

Thank you!

[azraelz_angel]

Just caught up on the last three chapters.

Oh my that was so hot, hot sex those two boys had. *whimpers*

And then Pike recognized Jim and asked him to join Starfleet....and then Bones asked him to stay...and then, and then he just left.

Bad Jim. Bad. You have to go back. You just can't leave Bones like that.

I'm scared for 6/6 to get posted, but I'm looking forward to where you go with this. :)

[salvaged_pride]

The idea of someone actually wanting him around is a big thing for Jim's world. Now I just have the image of puppy!Jim looking all pathetic and cute...

The last chapter gets posted Tuesday morning! ^_^

[avictoriangirl]

Nooooo! Jim don't leave! Wagh. This makes both me and Bones very sad. You better be fixing it quick!

[salvaged_pride]

*laughs* Next chapter will get posted Tuesday morning!