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I am slowly starting to get into my old social self a bit more and feel a bit less self conscious. I am sat here in Sheffield having a drink in the sun and contemplating the last few weeks. I have made an effort to be social and fit in with everyone, and I feel like I've been accepted. I'm on tour with mrs browns boys and although it's only my ( Read more... ) -
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I can't get to grips with this 'talking' thing. For years anything that has really mattered to me I have kept to myself. I dont know why, I spoke about all the petty things getting attention for anything I could, but if it really upset me or mattered I kept it quiet and didnt want any attention ( Read more... ) -
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I really am feeling very mature. I've spent the whole of christmas feeling ashamed of who I am, and yet not sorry for myself. So much the past few years things have happened that have left me feeling like everything shit always happens to me and nobody else and its unfair the world treats me like this, and all those generic feelings you associate ( Read more... ) -
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It's weird how some days start. Mine started with a phonecall from my mum telling me they had put my dog to sleep. We have had Rosie in our family for 12 years now, and it was sad watching her this Christmas and how she struggled to cope with things. It's very sad but at the same time I know this is the correct decision for her. It's been a pretty ( Read more... ) -
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I got a very unexpected text last night. A familiar number but one I hadnt got in my phone. It was from Lydia. I was kind of taken back by the nicety. Just asking how I was. To which I replied 'its a bit odd to randomly text me of all people out of the blue. Someone you who walked away from you and refused to talk to you ( Read more... ) -
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What's the deal with dreams? I mean why do we think about the things we do when we have no control over our thoughts?
Last night I had the most realistic dream I've ever had and it was strange.
I've had a lot on my mind lately amongst other stuff and I've been working on jingle bell ball fr Adlib. Now this is my first proper time around Laura in ( Read more... ) -
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Wow, despite being a bit lonely (very lonely) the rest of my life is almost perfect! I have just upgraded house to such an amazing place. Moving was such a ball ache, but Adlib lent me a van for free. The place although still in boxes is already starting to feel like home. Woke up in the morning and found a griddle, so put it on the oven and cooked ( Read more... ) -
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I dont know what's wrong with me lately. In terms of work I'm doing great and loving being put on bigger gigs. And I'm looking forward to moving house despite being very far behind with the packing. But the last couple of nights I can't stop thinking about Lydia. It's giving me a complete headache and I want it to stop. Olly mentioned the other ( Read more... ) -
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I just got back from meeting Laura for a drink. I'm kind of lost on how to feel really. It's been good for me to see her. She's making an effort to still be friends and I think it has made me realise how childish I can be. Despite her age she is more mature than me. She seems happy. Don't get me wrong I miss her a lot, but I think what I really ( Read more... ) -
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Ahhhh. I reinstalled my MacBook today. Fresh start. And As I was reinstalling my music and photos I came across one photo in particular which made me think. There's one photo of me and Lydia cuddled up on the sofa at my place and it's so genuine. My arm is around hers and her eyes are looking genuinely happy. It's hard to explain but it's just a ( Read more... )