50 has no grasp of the word "ironic."

"I like Tivo because I can fast forward through the commercials. Unless they're about geckos. I like geckos. Those ads are funny." -Professor Jim ( Read more... )

This morning, my friends and I almost succeeded in stealing a huskie with two differently colored eyes. Later, a girl in my class did a presentation on L.A. Reid. I asked my friend if his son had been on "Sweet Sixteen" and the girl in front of us turned around and said yes. Then she went on to say that he goes to a fat camp in Vermont where her ( Read more... )

"Tomorrow is February, which is...the month...I don't know, whatever, some black thing." -Professor Jim on Black History Month ( Read more... )

Last week, Jenny and I were walking to my dorm and a guy said, "Hey, ladies. I got two dildos with your names on them." After the intitial giggle, (L-O-L sexual harassment), we realized this statement poses two questions. Those being, What's wrong with yours? and How do you know our names? We let these remain rhetorical.

I was bored in class today and decided to do some math. You know, like people do. Anyways, I realized that in the past three and a half years I've spent over 169.3 (nonterminating) hours doing my hair in the morning. I could have spent that time sleeping. Or watching Lord of the Rings. I started to get depressed until my much smarter friend ( Read more... )

It's snowing!!! And I'm acting like a southern dandy freaking out over it because I haven't seen snow all year. But I don't care because this makes me so happy.

Only in New York can you hear two homeless marriage proposals, get offered a dental cleaning in a van, and buy Indian food from a street cart on your way to class. Also, in the window of a store I saw an album cover with the rhetorical title, "Is That The Tralala."

In other news, B*** still lives in Westford. In the words of Colleen, "Hollaaa."

Sam: What are you up to? Sneaking off, are we?
Gollum: Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat hobbit is always so polite. Smeagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find, and they say "sneak!" Sneak? Very nice friend. Oh, yes, my precious. Very nice, very nice.
Sam: All right, all right! You just startled me is all. What were you doing?
Gollum:

You can learn a lot of things when you're writing a paper, like what lengths you'll go to to avoid writing that paper, or what it feels like to have sticky eyeballs. Mostly though, I've been reading up on the Manson Family through the highly entertaining and slightly less accurate wikipedia. It's kind of gross how many people pay homage to the ( Read more... )