So, after needing to reboot my brain, a process that takes about a year and a half, we come back to chapter 5 of this POS. Zoey, the little shit, is complaining about climbing the bluffs looking for her psychic grandma. She’s not feeling well due to the disintegrating tissue in her lungs, and describes it thusly.

I was dizzy and my stomach had ( Read more... )

So, our chapter begins with Zoey stereotyping and being as judgy as she can be.

So I sat on my bed and coughed while I listened to my mom making a frantic call to our shrink's emergency line, followed quickly by another equally hysterical call that would activate the dreaded People of Faith prayer tree. Within thirty minutes our house would begin ( Read more... )

Remember how I said that if you were Christian, I would feel sorry for you in the next chapter. Well, it's not just the next chapter. It's the whole goddamn book.

I would say series, but some Catholic nuns come in and the Casts decide that because Catholics admire Mary that they're well on their way to Goddess worship, as all good people in the ( Read more... )

So, I've decided to do a new sporking. I'll still work on the House of Night series, especialy since the clusterfuck that is book 12 came out, but I wanted to do something a bit different. And that is Eragon! A four brick, I mean book, series full of Mary Sues, Legolas wannabes and quite a bit of fail. We start out with a map.


( Read more... )

Chapter two time! So Zoey finally gets the guts to leave the bathroom, insulting people yet again as she sees a guy wearing those seriously unattractive gang wanna-be baggy pants. You can’t make shit like that up.

So she’s walking to her car, noticing that the sun actually seems to be hurting her. I just thank God she didn’t start sparkling ( Read more... )

House of Night

Partholon

Goddess Summoning

Earth
Air
Water
Fire
Spirit

Chapter1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Epilogue
Final Thoughts

Prelude
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29Chapter 30 ( Read more... )

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29Chapter 30 ( Read more... )