alone again.  apparently I'm only good for a fling.

in other news, everybody at school hates me.  community college=high school that you pay for.

I haven't totally crash dieted in years, feelin good, nice and empty.

20 now and still in angsty teenager mode

control

changing myself on an outer level has not helped at all
gone to search ebay for a new personality

I'm basically sitting here listening to my parents confirm things I already knew

I hate this place.  I hate this vicious cycle.  Work and school.  School and work ( Read more... )

sometimes the people who pretend to be selfless and to care about the world often turn out to be the most selfish.

Ya, so there's this guy I kinda like, haven't gotten the courage to talk to him, big suprise ( Read more... )

I gotta stop this, it's pathetic.  Please stop tears.  I feel like I've lost a best friend.  There are very few people that I have trusted with all my secrets.  In fact I think he was the only one.  Especially since all my friends went to college, I can't remember talking to anybody that deeply.  I just want to be with him, to be happy again, I ( Read more... )

For the first time in years, I didn't have to front a smile.  But only for a week.  I got my day to be sad and now I guess it's back to pretending, to being on the stage, to make other people satisfied.

I know it was only a week, but I can't remember being that happy.  Why can't the happiness just stay?  Please

I worked so hard and for what?  I never enjoyed any of my high school years and did my homework like a good little girl, got good grades and for what!?  To go to a school that accepts basically everyone instead of living out my dream?  Was it worth it ( Read more... )