It's bullshit all the way down

[sarahf]

Came on here to write a long-overdue update and found this as a draft: "If I'm my best self -- or trying to be -- and that best self is never enough...or sometimes it's too much...what's the fucking point of anything?" I have no idea when I first wrote that, but yeah, that about sums it up

Comments

[julesjones]

Flu or Jetlag From Hell seems to be a common experience, even on regimes without the other horrible side-effects. Having someone there to cook and wash up and all the other things that suddenly take all the energy you've got will help. I'm glad to hear you've been able to eat - it's one less miserable thing to cope with.

[gwendally]

How do you do this with teenagers? Mine view me as their servant who occasionally bullies them inexplicably into doing chores for my own evil purposes. When I actually NEED help they mostly view me as being abusive. I am only loved when I am serving them.

Is that going better for you than it would for me? I hope so, but I fear not. Being a sociopath is a developmental stage.

[sarahf]

Well, the 15yo is mostly amazing. But he's got 4-7 hours of homework a night, so I just can't make him do that much for me. The 8yo is more of an issue, I think, because he doesn't really understand. But he's fine. I just...still make breakfast on the weekend, dinner every night they're with me, and wash up when needed. They help with dishwasher and laundry.

[oracne]

That sounds SO HARD. I am glad you are able to get some help with cooking and such. Is there anything us long-distance folks could do to help?

[charliecochrane]

No inanities, just lots of virtual hugs. Anything we can do to help?

[rosefox]

Relying on friends is absolutely essential. I'm glad you're reaching out. I hope the next round is genuinely easier on you. <3