so i wish i could understand something for once. things seem to come and go out of my life. like robby is back. not back back. but we hung out today, and we both found ourselves asking "why did this end?" it is not some much that i like robby. he is like a best friend. sorta. he said i changed and i agreed. i told him hes the same and he agreed. ( Read more... )

i miss my life ( Read more... )

ben left this morning. can you say yay? i can. not that i want him to be gone but i'm glad to be by myself. my knee is killing me today. it effing sucks. it keeps swelling more and more by the minute. they will probably have to drain it. i'm not sure what that really entails but it sounds pretty nasty. i love subway. more then anything else in the ( Read more... )

so i went to the doctors yesterday. hoping for some good news but that was the exact opposite of what i got. he said that he is 99% sure that i tore my acl and mencius. and 90% sure that i will need to have surgery. i hope i am in that 1%. err. my knee is still so fat. they said that if it doesn't go down soon they should probably drain it. ew. i ( Read more... )

ohhh deary me ( Read more... )

he is just a shitty person

i feel like i am spinning all the time. as if i woke up one morning on the tilt a whirl, and the guy in the booth just can't hear my request to Stop. i feel great when i'm up, but down when i'm low. i am starting to see that the benefits don't even out with the consequences. ben is great. really. but he is more of an object then a boyfriend. he is ( Read more... )

Starting Time: 10:34 ( Read more... )

things are, well, i don't know. not good? that sounds about right. i should be so happy but i'm not. it all comes down to "the only thing i want, is the thing i can't have". it is killing me. i have everything. almost. okay, not even close to everything. but i don't need everything to make me happy ( Read more... )

i sometimes get this feeling in my stomach that something bad happened, or something bad is about to happen. i can never seem to shake it. but then sometimes it is just the flu.