ive been  waiting for many years to be able to be happy again.

but now ive had the pills for a long time and i cant bring myself to swallow just one. why am i so scared of those damn little pills?

this is so stupid becuase youve treated me so poorly in the past and what makes me think its all going to just stop now? its all better because we're going out again. why are we going out? do you even want to? you say you do but then you say you like to see me, but you cant see me right now. and you wont be able to see me ever. we're going to be at ( Read more... )

sometimes i dont understand why living is so hard. why ive worked so hard for eighteen years trying to get myself to where i am today only to find out that i am nowhere. to find out the things i care about and the things i am knowldgeable about mean jack shit in the real world. and i am just an insignificant, fat, disgusting, american living on

nothings changed. nothing ever changes, for the good at least. actually im wrong. things have changed but theyre worse probably. or maybe theyre the same. i dont know. days just blur together now.

im stupid. im stupid. im stupid. and thanks for never letting me forget that.

i feel really stupid writing in this thing again. but i feel like im going to scream.

i love you so much the thought of losing you hurts me. but being with you hurts me too and i don't know which one will hurt me more, so i just keep on moving along like there is nothing wrong. and i love you so much but today when you were kissing me i didn't feel ( Read more... )

i dont understand anything anymore and its frustrating because i thought i was just figuring it out.

i didnt get accepted on violin...

...but i did on bass :)

i love how no matter how not cool im feeling i can look at pictures from my job at smile :)

http://www.youtube.com/v/XV24FN4rDzE

( Read more... )