Taking a pause from my internet life has been difficult. Which is exactly why I am doing it. No, it's not about cutting the power, killing my boss and leaving for the Finnish woods - it's about control. Something I believe I need to function, and something I have been losing. I need something to grasp, I need something different. And right now, ( Read more... )

It's been awhile since I wrote something around here. It just happens that I don't really write that much to handle my feelings and frustrations anymore - things have changed. And they say all change is good in the end ( Read more... )

My second day of living the white life is over. No alcohol, no caffeine, no refined sugar, no unecessary fat food...and so far no masturbation. Well, I still don't really believe in that part of the Cure. Anyways, let's see how this unfolds.

I just doubled my score on Heart Shaped Box. Wow for me. Wow.

The world was snow, fire, dirt, trees, blood and smoke. It was Smell. And pain ( Read more... )

I really hate what I am tonight ( Read more... )

ett slut är en början
för er
för mig
men blickarna säger någonting annat

åh lilla skara
ni som förstår
var är ni nu
när jag söker?

vän eller fiende
det kvittar nog
om elden där innan slocknat för gott

för ingen kan höra
ingen kan se
att slutet redan är här

Tunnels (draft continued ( Read more... )

There's something strange about feeling this way. I am tired, yet filled with energy. I feel like doing some things but end up doing nothing. The most cheesy things in existence becomes dead serious, and when something that I really consider meaningful or beautiful appears, I feel numb ( Read more... )

I am realizing I really don't write much around here anymore. The old Saint community has become more vivid recently, and I am also finding my way back to writing in swedish. I guess the LJ is easier when I want to write for a longer period of time ( Read more... )

Will it always be like this?
We spend so much time hurting and loving and the loving leads to hurt and we forget and then we become blinded.

I'm wide awake, it's morning.

Bring it on, godbitch. I am ready for another round.

Em and F luv. You will do fine. I love you so much.