Fic: You're a Regular Decorated Emergency - Chapter 4
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Ryan/Brendon
POV: First (Brendon's)
Summary: They were the outcasts of their school. The list started out as something innocent. Then Ryan wanted to get revenge in the only way he knew possible and he's dragging Brendon along for the ride.
Author's Note: Loosely based on the book Hate List by Jennifer Brown. (By loosely, I do mean very loosely. Also going to include a trigger warning in general right now (Self harm, alcoholism, bullying, violence, and several other things that may arise.)) Basically, don't read if you're going to be easily affected. Okay this chapter is very action filled and also very long. Comments are appreciated.
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction. I don't own the characters. I'm only responsible for the plot line.
The credits start to roll and I sit up from leaning against Ryan to stretch a little. I look over to the other couch and see Jon with his head on Spencer’s shoulder, both of them fast asleep. Looking behind me, I see Ryan is still zoned out on the screen. I can tell he’s not focused and is deep in thought, so I let him be and move to get up and go to the bathroom. I stand up, knocking an empty can of Coke on the floor over with my foot. The clang from it rings through the silent room and both Jon and Spencer shoot up from where they are slouched.
“Sorry,” I mumble, righting the can and sitting back down on the edge of the sofa. Out of the corner of my eye I see Ryan slowly regain focus on the room and he turns away from the TV looking around the room.
“So…” Jon yawns, stretching his arms above his head. “What now?” Spencer, Ryan, and I all exchange a look. It’s too early for us to call it a night.
“Well,” Spencer starts, scratching at the faint beard on his chin. “We could always go teepee Miller’s house. He’s always giving us a hard time. Might as well give him payback right?”
“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea!” Jon says, grinning widely. They both look to Ryan for confirmation that this is indeed a good idea. Both Jon and Spencer know that whatever Ryan decides is what my answer is too regardless.
Ryan avoids their glances and picks at his nails, slowly shaking his head. “No,” He ventures. “I have bigger plans to get back at him than something as insignificant as temporary vandalism.”
I notice Jon and Spencer exchange a slightly confused look before Jon says, “What do you mean insignificant? We used to teepee people’s houses all the time. You love doing that shit.”
Ryan shakes his head, “I used to. It’s old hat now. We have bigger and better things planned.” He glances at me, but I keep my focus on the painting behind Jon and Spencer. Jon notices the glance and I see his eyes narrow.
“What do you mean bigger things? How much bigger?” He looks between Ryan and I. I sigh and run my hand through my hair looking down at the ground. This is not the kind of conversation I want to be having right now. I don’t want to talk about what we have to do. I mean, yes, it would be better to have Jon and Spencer in on it. We’d have more help. But I’m almost 100% sure that they aren’t exactly going to be willing to jump into the plan. Even I wouldn’t be involved if I had the choice, but with Ryan.… It was a “he jumps, I jump” type of thing. I don’t exactly have a say in the matter.
“Let’s just say,” Ryan says slowly, “That soon everyone who has ever fucked us over will be getting what they deserve.” He reaches over and grabs my hand, squeezing it a little. I keep my gaze towards the floor but I can see Jon and Spencer share a loaded glance.
“Uh, alright, man,” Jon says scratching his head, “Whatever you say.”
I look up and see Spencer eyeing Ryan through narrowed eyes. Ryan must have noticed because he pulls his phone out of his pocket of his jeans to check the time.
“I should probably get home before my dad does,” He says. “He’ll be pissed if I’m out late again. Let’s go, Bren.” He grabs my hand, pulling me to my feet. I stand and knock over the can again, causing it to clatter around. I stoop to get it but Ryan beats me to it, sitting it on the coffee table. “See you guys later,” He says, dragging me to the door. I give a small smile and wave in the direction of Spencer and Jon. Both force a smile in return that I barely catch before I’m around the corner and out the door behind Ryan.
The door slams behind us and I have to almost jog to keep up with Ryan’s pace. Damn his long legs. Given, I’m not the shortest guy around, but Ryan’s got a couple inches on me at least. We reach Ryan’s car and he basically throws my hand down before continuing to his own side. I quietly open my door and crawl inside, buckling up all before he can even get his own door open and sit down.
He slams his door behind him with a force that causes the entire Focus to shake slightly. I cringe as he starts to pound his hands against the steering wheel.
“Fuck fuck fuck,” he yells, repeatedly smashing his hands against the wheel. “They can’t fucking find out about our plan. Spencer is too….” He grunts out an ending to his sentence and punches against his steering wheel again, the material bending almost threatening to break.
I cautiously reach my hand out and place it on his forearm. “Ry,” I breathe, “Calm down… I doubt they know what we’re going to plan… Yeah they know it’s big, but it doesn’t mean they know exactly what it is. We’ll be okay…” I rub his arm a little and he stops abusing the steering wheel, breathing rough. He leans his forehead against the wheel and I keep rubbing his arm.
“It’ll be okay, Ry,” I say softly.
He shakes his head, his breathing shaky, “Bren, you don’t understand. We can’t fuck this up. This all has to go right.” He sniffles and wipes his under his eyes. “Just… We can’t let others know what we’re doing, especially not Jon or Spence.”
I nod, still gently rubbing his arm. We sit like that for a few moments, before he sits up brushing me off and starts the car. We back out of Jon’s driveway and we head back towards town. I stare out the window at the fading light against the backdrop of the city’s lights.
“Where are we going?” I ask when Ryan turns away from the main part of the city, heading out near where I live.
“I’m taking you home,” He says roughly. “I need to think and sort some things out before tomorrow.” I nod and stare out the windshield. I see him glance at me quickly before turning onto my street. “I’m not mad at you, Brendon. I just really need to get it sorted.” I nod again, not saying anything as he pulls into my driveway. As I go to get out of the car he grabs my hand, kissing it lightly. “I love you, okay? See you tomorrow at school.”
“I love you too,” I murmur before grabbing my backpack from under my seat and exiting the car. Ryan waits until I’ve reached my door before he reverses out of the driveway and peels off down the road back towards town. I watch, with my hand on the doorknob until he turns the corner before I open it.
One step into the dark hallway and I can already tell no one is home. For safe measure, I call out, “Mom? Dad?” No answer. Good, I like it better when they aren’t here.
I make my way to the kitchen and see a note stuck to the fridge.
Bren-
Went to see Bishop Gregory at the Temple.
Be back late tonight.
Don’t wait up.
Money is on the counter for pizza.
-Mom & Dad
Well, at least I dodged that bullet. I hated having to go to the Temple for things. I didn’t even believe in half that shit they said. Then again, I was gay and the church didn’t exactly go all out to support that… My family didn’t even know. This was hard to believe in my opinion, but whatever.
I pocket the money and decide to just snack on something instead. Not like my parents will know that I just took the money anyways. I look in the cupboard but there’s nothing left in the house. I sigh and look at the clock. 9. Might as well go to bed and get an actual good night’s sleep. I head up stairs and plug my phone in before stripping off my shirt and falling face-first onto my bed.
I don’t remember when I exactly fell asleep but what can't be more than a couple hours later, I hear a faint knocking sound on my window. Ignoring it at first, I roll over, pulling one of my many pillows over my head.
“Stupid birds,” I think, groaning softly.
If you want my body and you think I’m sexy…
My phone rings out from somewhere on my desk. God damn Jon for changing my ringtone to something so obnoxious. I hop out of bed, tripping over various articles of clothing before falling over the charger cord and finally locate my phone. Ripping it from the desk I answer it a little more aggressive than probably necessary.
“What?” I grunt into the speaker.
“Bren, it’s Ryan,” Ryan rushes out, sounding out of breath. “Come outside. I need your help with something.”
I glance at my alarm clock. 4:17 AM. Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck could he want at this hour that wasn’t able to wait until morning? “Ry,” I draw out, running a hand through my messy hair. “Can’t this wait till tomorrow? We have school in a couple hours…”
“No, Bren,” He rushes again. “Now. I need your help now.”
I sigh, “Fine. Be down in a second.”
“Okay,” he says, a little more calmly. “Just… wear dark clothing…” Before I can even ask why he hangs up and I sigh again, throwing my phone down on my desk. I glance around the floor illuminated from the moon outside my window and pick up a random, plain black hoodie, throwing it on over my bare torso. I’m still in my jeans from earlier and they’re dark enough in my opinion. This’ll have to do.
I grab my phone off my desk and pocket it before shifting open my window and crawling out onto the small ledge of my roof under it. Five minutes later, I’ve successfully shimmied down the lattice on the back of my house where Ryan is already waiting for me.
I’m about to ask him what’s going on when he grabs my hand, pulling me along with him in the direction of the street adjacent to my own. We’re running at a full sprint and it’s taking all I have in me to even keep up without being completely dragged on the ground behind him.
“Ry,” I huff out. “Where the fuck are we going and what is going on?”
“I’ll explain once we’re in the car,” He says shaking his head. “Just be quiet for a second, kay?” I stop talking and continue running behind him until finally we reach his car that’s parked a good block and a half away from my house. I don’t ask why this time and instead just rip open the door and jump inside. Ryan has slowed his own pace and takes his time to get in the car, making me feel like a moron.
As Ryan gets in the car, I realize that he and I aren’t the only two in the car. I turn around to look behind me and I see Gabe sitting there with a huge smirk on his face. I look at Ryan and he gives me a look that conveys, “Shut up, I’ll explain later.”
I face forward out the windshield and notice we’re driving out towards the woods where we had been earlier. Doing as I’m told, I stay silent, even when Ryan reaches over with his right hand to grasp mine. I look down and watch him draw circles on the back of it with his thumb and smile a little. At least even in what is coming across as a stressful situation, he still has his sweet moments.
We stop where we had parked earlier and I get out of the car, watching as Gabe exits the backseat to join me. Ryan seems to struggle with something in his car before he finally gets out as well and moves around to stand where we are.
“Shall we?” He says, sickly sweet. Gabe smiles and takes off down the trail into the woods. Ryan takes my hand again and turn and follow Gabe. We end up walking further into the woods than where me and Ryan had been and soon are standing near a quick-moving stream. Gabe stops, turning around suddenly.
“Alright, faggots,” He spits out, “Let’s get this done with. You wanna fight. Let’s fight.” I throw a quick glance at Ryan who has an innocent smile pasted across his face, making me even more confused. I watch as Ryan takes a step forward and resist the urge to throw out a hand to stop him.
Gabe seems to sense my hesitation and smirks, “What’s the matter, Brenny-boy? Gotta have your boyfriend fight all your battles for you?” He laughs at his own joke, but I notice Ryan tense up.
Before I can even process what is happening, Ryan launches at Gabe and I see his eyes widen in surprise. A sickening crunch attacks my ears and I freeze. I watch Gabe slowly lower his gaze to his own chest where Ryan has shoved a knife in. He seems speechless until Ryan twists the knife, causing Gabe to cry out and stumble backwards a little. Ryan rips the knife from his chest and stabs it in again, this time with even more force. Gabe stumbles back more and trips over an exposed root, falling into the rushing stream below.
Ryan follows and straddles him, stabbing him even more times as Gabe cries out and blood starts to bubble out of his mouth. I’m still frozen in my original spot, too horrified to even speak. I watch Ryan stab Gabe over and over until finally Gabe is completely silent, just the rushing of the water and Ryan’s heavy breathing making any noise.
I let loose the breath I am holding and it chokes into a sob. Ryan stands up and turns around and I can’t help but start to choke even more at the sight of him: he’s coated in Gabe’s blood. I want to scream and run away, but the fear has paralyzed me to the point where I can barely even breathe, let alone move. Ryan drops the knife on top of Gabe’s now lifeless body and moves towards me.
“Bren,” He breathes, as I back away slowly. “It’s okay. He’s gone now. He can’t hurt you.” I want to scream even more now. It’s not Gabe I’m scared of hurting me at this point. I shake my head.
“Ry…” I choke out, trying not to sob again. He moves closer to me causing me to cringe away. He stops and stares at me, holding up his hands in what is meant as a peaceful manner but with all the blood it comes across as grotesque and horrifying. Ryan seems to realize that I’m still petrified of him so he turns back to the body and knife. He shoves the knife into Gabe’s chest, before picking him up and draping him in his arms. I notice Gabe’s lifeless eyes are staring opening at the tree canopy above us and I feel slightly sick to my stomach.
Ryan starts to walk back towards the car and I reluctantly follow. Ryan carelessly throws Gabe’s body in the backseat before opening the front door and getting inside. He stares at me waiting and I slowly open the door and climb inside. We turn around and head back to the main road before either of us says anything.
“I’m gonna drop you off and go take care of the body,” He says. “Don’t worry about what I’m going to do with it. The less you know the better. I’m sorry this had to be so gruesome, but it had to be done, Bren… Bren?” He trails off and looks at me.
“Pull over,” I choke out. He must have noticed something was wrong because he screeches to a stop and I throw open the door before releasing the contents of my stomach onto the pavement below. I choke out another sob or two and wipe my mouth onto my sleeve. I feel Ryan’s hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles and quickly jerk away remembering the fact that they are coated in blood.
“Sorry,” Ryan mutters seeming to understand my reaction. I nod and shut my door, which Ryan takes as a sign that it’s okay to start driving again. He goes slower this time, constantly glancing at me to make sure I’m not about to get sick again.
We finally get to my house and I wait before getting out knowing that Ryan wants to say something. I look at him expectantly and he sighs. “I’m sorry, Bren…” He says low. “I’m sorry this had to happen, but you know it has to. The next one will be better. I promise, okay?” I blink at him a few times before giving him a single nod and exiting the car.
I crawl back up the lattice to my room and pull off my hoodie before crawling back into bed. Staring up at the old glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling that me and Jon had put up years ago I can’t help but think about how our innocent little list had grown into something so horrible and grotesque. Almost exactly how mine and Ryan’s relationship had changed. How did we even get to this point? Killing classmates to help each other? I didn’t think relationships constituted of this. But what else can I really do? If I were to even turn on Ryan, he’d do to me what he did to Gabe. I’d be the next one added to the list. I have no choice.
Chapter 5
Pairings: Ryan/Brendon
POV: First (Brendon's)
Summary: They were the outcasts of their school. The list started out as something innocent. Then Ryan wanted to get revenge in the only way he knew possible and he's dragging Brendon along for the ride.
Author's Note: Loosely based on the book Hate List by Jennifer Brown. (By loosely, I do mean very loosely. Also going to include a trigger warning in general right now (Self harm, alcoholism, bullying, violence, and several other things that may arise.)) Basically, don't read if you're going to be easily affected. Okay this chapter is very action filled and also very long. Comments are appreciated.
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction. I don't own the characters. I'm only responsible for the plot line.
The credits start to roll and I sit up from leaning against Ryan to stretch a little. I look over to the other couch and see Jon with his head on Spencer’s shoulder, both of them fast asleep. Looking behind me, I see Ryan is still zoned out on the screen. I can tell he’s not focused and is deep in thought, so I let him be and move to get up and go to the bathroom. I stand up, knocking an empty can of Coke on the floor over with my foot. The clang from it rings through the silent room and both Jon and Spencer shoot up from where they are slouched.
“Sorry,” I mumble, righting the can and sitting back down on the edge of the sofa. Out of the corner of my eye I see Ryan slowly regain focus on the room and he turns away from the TV looking around the room.
“So…” Jon yawns, stretching his arms above his head. “What now?” Spencer, Ryan, and I all exchange a look. It’s too early for us to call it a night.
“Well,” Spencer starts, scratching at the faint beard on his chin. “We could always go teepee Miller’s house. He’s always giving us a hard time. Might as well give him payback right?”
“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea!” Jon says, grinning widely. They both look to Ryan for confirmation that this is indeed a good idea. Both Jon and Spencer know that whatever Ryan decides is what my answer is too regardless.
Ryan avoids their glances and picks at his nails, slowly shaking his head. “No,” He ventures. “I have bigger plans to get back at him than something as insignificant as temporary vandalism.”
I notice Jon and Spencer exchange a slightly confused look before Jon says, “What do you mean insignificant? We used to teepee people’s houses all the time. You love doing that shit.”
Ryan shakes his head, “I used to. It’s old hat now. We have bigger and better things planned.” He glances at me, but I keep my focus on the painting behind Jon and Spencer. Jon notices the glance and I see his eyes narrow.
“What do you mean bigger things? How much bigger?” He looks between Ryan and I. I sigh and run my hand through my hair looking down at the ground. This is not the kind of conversation I want to be having right now. I don’t want to talk about what we have to do. I mean, yes, it would be better to have Jon and Spencer in on it. We’d have more help. But I’m almost 100% sure that they aren’t exactly going to be willing to jump into the plan. Even I wouldn’t be involved if I had the choice, but with Ryan.… It was a “he jumps, I jump” type of thing. I don’t exactly have a say in the matter.
“Let’s just say,” Ryan says slowly, “That soon everyone who has ever fucked us over will be getting what they deserve.” He reaches over and grabs my hand, squeezing it a little. I keep my gaze towards the floor but I can see Jon and Spencer share a loaded glance.
“Uh, alright, man,” Jon says scratching his head, “Whatever you say.”
I look up and see Spencer eyeing Ryan through narrowed eyes. Ryan must have noticed because he pulls his phone out of his pocket of his jeans to check the time.
“I should probably get home before my dad does,” He says. “He’ll be pissed if I’m out late again. Let’s go, Bren.” He grabs my hand, pulling me to my feet. I stand and knock over the can again, causing it to clatter around. I stoop to get it but Ryan beats me to it, sitting it on the coffee table. “See you guys later,” He says, dragging me to the door. I give a small smile and wave in the direction of Spencer and Jon. Both force a smile in return that I barely catch before I’m around the corner and out the door behind Ryan.
The door slams behind us and I have to almost jog to keep up with Ryan’s pace. Damn his long legs. Given, I’m not the shortest guy around, but Ryan’s got a couple inches on me at least. We reach Ryan’s car and he basically throws my hand down before continuing to his own side. I quietly open my door and crawl inside, buckling up all before he can even get his own door open and sit down.
He slams his door behind him with a force that causes the entire Focus to shake slightly. I cringe as he starts to pound his hands against the steering wheel.
“Fuck fuck fuck,” he yells, repeatedly smashing his hands against the wheel. “They can’t fucking find out about our plan. Spencer is too….” He grunts out an ending to his sentence and punches against his steering wheel again, the material bending almost threatening to break.
I cautiously reach my hand out and place it on his forearm. “Ry,” I breathe, “Calm down… I doubt they know what we’re going to plan… Yeah they know it’s big, but it doesn’t mean they know exactly what it is. We’ll be okay…” I rub his arm a little and he stops abusing the steering wheel, breathing rough. He leans his forehead against the wheel and I keep rubbing his arm.
“It’ll be okay, Ry,” I say softly.
He shakes his head, his breathing shaky, “Bren, you don’t understand. We can’t fuck this up. This all has to go right.” He sniffles and wipes his under his eyes. “Just… We can’t let others know what we’re doing, especially not Jon or Spence.”
I nod, still gently rubbing his arm. We sit like that for a few moments, before he sits up brushing me off and starts the car. We back out of Jon’s driveway and we head back towards town. I stare out the window at the fading light against the backdrop of the city’s lights.
“Where are we going?” I ask when Ryan turns away from the main part of the city, heading out near where I live.
“I’m taking you home,” He says roughly. “I need to think and sort some things out before tomorrow.” I nod and stare out the windshield. I see him glance at me quickly before turning onto my street. “I’m not mad at you, Brendon. I just really need to get it sorted.” I nod again, not saying anything as he pulls into my driveway. As I go to get out of the car he grabs my hand, kissing it lightly. “I love you, okay? See you tomorrow at school.”
“I love you too,” I murmur before grabbing my backpack from under my seat and exiting the car. Ryan waits until I’ve reached my door before he reverses out of the driveway and peels off down the road back towards town. I watch, with my hand on the doorknob until he turns the corner before I open it.
One step into the dark hallway and I can already tell no one is home. For safe measure, I call out, “Mom? Dad?” No answer. Good, I like it better when they aren’t here.
I make my way to the kitchen and see a note stuck to the fridge.
Bren-
Went to see Bishop Gregory at the Temple.
Be back late tonight.
Don’t wait up.
Money is on the counter for pizza.
-Mom & Dad
Well, at least I dodged that bullet. I hated having to go to the Temple for things. I didn’t even believe in half that shit they said. Then again, I was gay and the church didn’t exactly go all out to support that… My family didn’t even know. This was hard to believe in my opinion, but whatever.
I pocket the money and decide to just snack on something instead. Not like my parents will know that I just took the money anyways. I look in the cupboard but there’s nothing left in the house. I sigh and look at the clock. 9. Might as well go to bed and get an actual good night’s sleep. I head up stairs and plug my phone in before stripping off my shirt and falling face-first onto my bed.
I don’t remember when I exactly fell asleep but what can't be more than a couple hours later, I hear a faint knocking sound on my window. Ignoring it at first, I roll over, pulling one of my many pillows over my head.
“Stupid birds,” I think, groaning softly.
If you want my body and you think I’m sexy…
My phone rings out from somewhere on my desk. God damn Jon for changing my ringtone to something so obnoxious. I hop out of bed, tripping over various articles of clothing before falling over the charger cord and finally locate my phone. Ripping it from the desk I answer it a little more aggressive than probably necessary.
“What?” I grunt into the speaker.
“Bren, it’s Ryan,” Ryan rushes out, sounding out of breath. “Come outside. I need your help with something.”
I glance at my alarm clock. 4:17 AM. Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck could he want at this hour that wasn’t able to wait until morning? “Ry,” I draw out, running a hand through my messy hair. “Can’t this wait till tomorrow? We have school in a couple hours…”
“No, Bren,” He rushes again. “Now. I need your help now.”
I sigh, “Fine. Be down in a second.”
“Okay,” he says, a little more calmly. “Just… wear dark clothing…” Before I can even ask why he hangs up and I sigh again, throwing my phone down on my desk. I glance around the floor illuminated from the moon outside my window and pick up a random, plain black hoodie, throwing it on over my bare torso. I’m still in my jeans from earlier and they’re dark enough in my opinion. This’ll have to do.
I grab my phone off my desk and pocket it before shifting open my window and crawling out onto the small ledge of my roof under it. Five minutes later, I’ve successfully shimmied down the lattice on the back of my house where Ryan is already waiting for me.
I’m about to ask him what’s going on when he grabs my hand, pulling me along with him in the direction of the street adjacent to my own. We’re running at a full sprint and it’s taking all I have in me to even keep up without being completely dragged on the ground behind him.
“Ry,” I huff out. “Where the fuck are we going and what is going on?”
“I’ll explain once we’re in the car,” He says shaking his head. “Just be quiet for a second, kay?” I stop talking and continue running behind him until finally we reach his car that’s parked a good block and a half away from my house. I don’t ask why this time and instead just rip open the door and jump inside. Ryan has slowed his own pace and takes his time to get in the car, making me feel like a moron.
As Ryan gets in the car, I realize that he and I aren’t the only two in the car. I turn around to look behind me and I see Gabe sitting there with a huge smirk on his face. I look at Ryan and he gives me a look that conveys, “Shut up, I’ll explain later.”
I face forward out the windshield and notice we’re driving out towards the woods where we had been earlier. Doing as I’m told, I stay silent, even when Ryan reaches over with his right hand to grasp mine. I look down and watch him draw circles on the back of it with his thumb and smile a little. At least even in what is coming across as a stressful situation, he still has his sweet moments.
We stop where we had parked earlier and I get out of the car, watching as Gabe exits the backseat to join me. Ryan seems to struggle with something in his car before he finally gets out as well and moves around to stand where we are.
“Shall we?” He says, sickly sweet. Gabe smiles and takes off down the trail into the woods. Ryan takes my hand again and turn and follow Gabe. We end up walking further into the woods than where me and Ryan had been and soon are standing near a quick-moving stream. Gabe stops, turning around suddenly.
“Alright, faggots,” He spits out, “Let’s get this done with. You wanna fight. Let’s fight.” I throw a quick glance at Ryan who has an innocent smile pasted across his face, making me even more confused. I watch as Ryan takes a step forward and resist the urge to throw out a hand to stop him.
Gabe seems to sense my hesitation and smirks, “What’s the matter, Brenny-boy? Gotta have your boyfriend fight all your battles for you?” He laughs at his own joke, but I notice Ryan tense up.
Before I can even process what is happening, Ryan launches at Gabe and I see his eyes widen in surprise. A sickening crunch attacks my ears and I freeze. I watch Gabe slowly lower his gaze to his own chest where Ryan has shoved a knife in. He seems speechless until Ryan twists the knife, causing Gabe to cry out and stumble backwards a little. Ryan rips the knife from his chest and stabs it in again, this time with even more force. Gabe stumbles back more and trips over an exposed root, falling into the rushing stream below.
Ryan follows and straddles him, stabbing him even more times as Gabe cries out and blood starts to bubble out of his mouth. I’m still frozen in my original spot, too horrified to even speak. I watch Ryan stab Gabe over and over until finally Gabe is completely silent, just the rushing of the water and Ryan’s heavy breathing making any noise.
I let loose the breath I am holding and it chokes into a sob. Ryan stands up and turns around and I can’t help but start to choke even more at the sight of him: he’s coated in Gabe’s blood. I want to scream and run away, but the fear has paralyzed me to the point where I can barely even breathe, let alone move. Ryan drops the knife on top of Gabe’s now lifeless body and moves towards me.
“Bren,” He breathes, as I back away slowly. “It’s okay. He’s gone now. He can’t hurt you.” I want to scream even more now. It’s not Gabe I’m scared of hurting me at this point. I shake my head.
“Ry…” I choke out, trying not to sob again. He moves closer to me causing me to cringe away. He stops and stares at me, holding up his hands in what is meant as a peaceful manner but with all the blood it comes across as grotesque and horrifying. Ryan seems to realize that I’m still petrified of him so he turns back to the body and knife. He shoves the knife into Gabe’s chest, before picking him up and draping him in his arms. I notice Gabe’s lifeless eyes are staring opening at the tree canopy above us and I feel slightly sick to my stomach.
Ryan starts to walk back towards the car and I reluctantly follow. Ryan carelessly throws Gabe’s body in the backseat before opening the front door and getting inside. He stares at me waiting and I slowly open the door and climb inside. We turn around and head back to the main road before either of us says anything.
“I’m gonna drop you off and go take care of the body,” He says. “Don’t worry about what I’m going to do with it. The less you know the better. I’m sorry this had to be so gruesome, but it had to be done, Bren… Bren?” He trails off and looks at me.
“Pull over,” I choke out. He must have noticed something was wrong because he screeches to a stop and I throw open the door before releasing the contents of my stomach onto the pavement below. I choke out another sob or two and wipe my mouth onto my sleeve. I feel Ryan’s hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles and quickly jerk away remembering the fact that they are coated in blood.
“Sorry,” Ryan mutters seeming to understand my reaction. I nod and shut my door, which Ryan takes as a sign that it’s okay to start driving again. He goes slower this time, constantly glancing at me to make sure I’m not about to get sick again.
We finally get to my house and I wait before getting out knowing that Ryan wants to say something. I look at him expectantly and he sighs. “I’m sorry, Bren…” He says low. “I’m sorry this had to happen, but you know it has to. The next one will be better. I promise, okay?” I blink at him a few times before giving him a single nod and exiting the car.
I crawl back up the lattice to my room and pull off my hoodie before crawling back into bed. Staring up at the old glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling that me and Jon had put up years ago I can’t help but think about how our innocent little list had grown into something so horrible and grotesque. Almost exactly how mine and Ryan’s relationship had changed. How did we even get to this point? Killing classmates to help each other? I didn’t think relationships constituted of this. But what else can I really do? If I were to even turn on Ryan, he’d do to me what he did to Gabe. I’d be the next one added to the list. I have no choice.
Chapter 5