what it really comes down to is this: if you could go back to the second you met your ex, and you knew you'd have a painful breakup... would you change any of it? or would you still do it, knowing you'd have some great times and some irreplaceable memories because of it?
to me this was the crux of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and why that movie struck such a huge chord with me. at the end they knew they were in for some fucked up shit, but to them it was worth it for that collection of moments in which one feels most alive.
hmmm. I think most people don't have the luxury of such foreknowledge...
I guess I have a few times, though. I would still never go back and and redo it, because I had so many great experiences in the context of those relationships and grew so much as a person because of them.
I guess my general outlook is that it's no good regretting anything, because it won't change what happened; the only purpose it serves is keeping you tied up in your past and unhappy. I'm the same after I take a test... I fuck up, I leave, I never think about it again. no matter what I do or how bad I feel I'm getting whatever grade I earned. same with relationships... no matter how I may regret it, it happened already, so I might as well appreciate whatever good came of it.
It's quite possibly because I've never been in any kind of relationship, but to me, there is no love in that movie. All four of them are merely manipulating each other's emotions for their own twisted enjoyment. The only times they think about how another might feel is when they're trying to hurt them, and they're only upset when their best laid plans are invariably turned around on them.
I think that love may be a little less idyllic than you might imagine. just because you hurt someone doesn't mean you did it with the intention of hurting them... sometimes people just fuck up.
I definitely thought Alice/Jane was in love with Dan, and that Larry was in love with Anna. I never saw either of them try deliberately to hurt the other. Anna and Dan, though, I don't know if either of them were capable of love as opposed to infatuation.
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if you could go back to the second you met your ex, and you knew you'd have a painful breakup... would you change any of it? or would you still do it, knowing you'd have some great times and some irreplaceable memories because of it?
to me this was the crux of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and why that movie struck such a huge chord with me. at the end they knew they were in for some fucked up shit, but to them it was worth it for that collection of moments in which one feels most alive.
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I guess I have a few times, though. I would still never go back and and redo it, because I had so many great experiences in the context of those relationships and grew so much as a person because of them.
I guess my general outlook is that it's no good regretting anything, because it won't change what happened; the only purpose it serves is keeping you tied up in your past and unhappy. I'm the same after I take a test... I fuck up, I leave, I never think about it again. no matter what I do or how bad I feel I'm getting whatever grade I earned. same with relationships... no matter how I may regret it, it happened already, so I might as well appreciate whatever good came of it.
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I definitely thought Alice/Jane was in love with Dan, and that Larry was in love with Anna. I never saw either of them try deliberately to hurt the other. Anna and Dan, though, I don't know if either of them were capable of love as opposed to infatuation.
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