With each passing minute I grow more and more terrified -- more and more convinced that everything will go to shit as everything is bound to. Time passes more slowly than I can imagine it possible. It doesn't matter what I'm doing -- having fun with others, sitting in a theater, reading comic books, studying, sitting in class, eating dinner with ( Read more... )

Meet the twins, avoidance and denial. Beautiful, aren't they?

give me one more medicated peaceful moment

I won't think about the future, I won't think about life.

It is unnatural for someone my age to be this fuckin' tired of it? It occurred to me yesterday that I haven't had a real laugh in so long, I can't recall how it feels to be happy. Joyous. Ecstatic. Whatever. To grin despite myself. Smiling is beginning to hurt because it takes so much effort, and I'm too tired, too weary to even want to smile ( Read more... )

I reached a conclusion today. The same conclusion I reach day after day ( Read more... )

Instead of saying anything substantial, I'm offering a sweeping portrait of myself, and what Zeus has in stock for me, as seen through my magic iPod.

Instruction:
Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use to song to answer the question.

How am I feeling today?
"What I really don't want to be" - Time Has Told Me by ( Read more... )

So, I just sent my dad an email. I won't say that keeping my parents in the dark about... oh, everything, never bothered me; sometimes having to choose the lesser of two evils doesn't mean it wouldn't bother you. And you can't say I haven't tried. If you were hiding behind a rock and you throw out, say, helmets and shirts, and they all got shot ( Read more... )

Despite the horrible grammar, I totally wouldn't mind looking like that. Totally.


( Read more... )

Oh yeah. Ayn Rand can suck my dick. My collosal, throbbing, invisible dick.

I think I'm officially in love with Josh Hartnett.

*sighs*

If I have some time I'd like to stay here a while and flesh out some thoughts. But I don't... and neither do I really want to think about them. If there were internet connection back at my stupid apartment I would've spewed out a few pages of self-loathing, generally spiteful words... but thanks to my landlady's indifference to her tenants' needs ( Read more... )