One step forward and six steps back

[saulittlesister]

Well here I am again with my life even worse than the last time I wrote. I think a little more seriously about suicide each day. In one week I pissed off my entire family, wasted hundreds of dollars making a trip for a friend, failed and let that friend down big time, broke my phone, and had my car break down. If there is good in this life, I don't

Comments

I believe in you

[spomatic]

I wish i had encouraging things to say, any form of love that could reach through the screen to your heart, anything to help save you. But it's never a person's place to do the saving, that place is reserved for the Most High. I don't know what this means to you, but i believe in you to make it through this. I believe that you'll find something or realize something to live for. What can i do for you? You must reach out to God.

I opened a fortune cookie one day, and it's impact helped subside my turmoil. It said:

"When one must, one can." I believe that. And i believe in you.

Shalom :-)

[spomatic]

May i also suggest the cd "Save Me From Myself" by Brian 'Head' Welch. So good, raw, beautiful, and true. I have my iTunes on shuffle and his song came on and the few words that stuck out were "Suicide, i kicked it. Father, save me from myself." The music can be heavy at times, and beautiful / soaring at others. Let me know if you like it :-)

[saulittlesister]

That does mean a lot, Jacob. Thank you. And if I had money, I would buy that CD.

[anonymous]

I don't think it's a question of where God is. He's still where he was. He is, was, and always will be the same. A God of love, like you said. I think it's more of a question of where have you turned from Him. Where/when have you chosen your emotion, your desire, your pride, your whatever over Him. Where has deception come in? Is the enemy workin one over on you? Is part of it simply living in a crappy world? God's character never changes. We do and in our fallenness, we choose ourselves over Him.

Just some thoughts from a passerby for you to get honest about.

[saulittlesister]

Thanks for the blame and guilt. That's just what I needed. You're the best, Mr or Ms. Unnammed.

This is why I don't like Christians. They never allow themselves to question God and just be honest about where they are. Even the prophets in the Bible were honest when they doubted and questioned God, so why can't I?

Whoever you are, you're delusional. Come out of your fantasy world and realize that real people, even good people, go through hard stuff, and blaming them is no solution at all.

[sin_sight]

Mr/Mrs Anonymous You have no concept of reality and probably are egotistical. You blame others for their downfalls instead of offering constructive advice which tells me you are selfish and just as guilty of lying to yourself and those around you as the rest of us can be. You posted as anonymous to help keep yourself free of the guilt you have because you just bashed a person who needed help and you ignored them. If you have sleeping problems this is why. And you make me sick.
When you get the chance you might want to actually read the NT and know what you are talking about. Jesus would NEVER have told this girl it was her fault. He would have NEVER passed her by, nor tolerated his disciples to treat others this way.
Even if this girl could do something about her life she is stating she doesnt know what and you FAILED to lend a hand. Epically failed in fact.
Perhaps YOU should get honest.
And on a slightly more personal note I think you are a judmental bastard and should go fuck yourself.

[anonymous]

First off, God is all around you, in everything. The people you see on the street, your cat, the plants and animals. It is not whether or not He is there, its whether or not you see Him. We all find this hard, mostly when our own lives are in turmoil. Know that you are not alone and that you can find God again

[anonymous]

btw I am the anonymous person right above this comment and I will say the other anonymous person, rattling on about pride and how its your fault is also the reason I hate Christians.

[saulittlesister]

Mr. or Ms. second anonymous,
I have a response to your post, but I'd like you to reveal your identity first.