I'll learn this lesson over and over for a long time I'm sure. My shell grows back, stronger I hope. You've hurt the most of any but I can't blame you. It's my fault for ever believing something in my life would be easy and comfortable.

It's my fault for still being here.

C'est la vie.
Give me my cajun coast. I can not wait to go home.

It's okay because you're not perfect and you piss me off and you make me smile and you kiss me right when i want you to and you know i'm not perfect and i yell at you and blow smoke in your face when you make me mad and tell you jokes to make up for it and i dance with you when we both love the music playing and we drink too much and stay up way ( Read more... )

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Every fucking time.
Every god damn time.

I will be alone forever, just like my mother and her mother.
This is it. I better just get used to it.

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March 6, 2010 ( Read more... )

summer plans have changed

tentitively:
go home for a few weeks
love on everyone
move in with dylan and his mom in NC
get jobs in winston
make enough money to pay the first few months rent at our apartment
move in around the beginning of august
start my 3rd year as a cinematographer

but first:
film Death and Mary Janehave the best reel ever ( Read more... )

why do i always let this happen?
why am i even still thinking about it?

fuck this.
if one more person asks me if we're dating i'm going to sleep in the middle of the highway.

2nd year in a row I've spent 12 hours on set on Valentine's Day.

My present to myself:
40 minute shower
going to sleep early (before 2)
finishing all the work I've been putting off
and
starting a fund for this guy

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i'm shooting 16 mm film!


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