Two or more rationalizations why I don't ask for what I need

[savorie]

1) I lack the grace to take "no" for an answer well enough.

2) I admonish myself for not being more accepting (see reason #1) of the shortcomings and limitations of individuals.

2a) Asking for what I need seems to imply that I'm not grateful for what I'm already getting.

Comments

[kshandra]

Wow. I so totally could have written this.

[savorie]

That helps to hear.

[rhiannonstone]

2a is the thing I have the biggest problem with, because I have so much to be grateful and thankful for, and I feel guilty when I want something else/more/different, afraid to make the other person feel like I don't appreciate what they already do for me or like they'll never be able to do enough.

[zaiah]

Spot on. *sigh* ..thanks for the reminder about what I need to work on..

[brian1789]

I wasn't that particular sweetie (gender), but similarly when you and I dated, I hated to ask you for things, even trivial needs or desires, for fear you'd say no and I'd then feel shamed and embarrassed.

Correct me if I'm misremembering, but IIRC you later said that because of that reluctance on my part to ask you (and possibly hear "no"), you yourself sometimes felt I doubted your competence, or even rejected your love (expressed in one of the ways you best did so)? If so, that dynamic around asking didn't work well for you and I. (hug)

[ekesobriquet]

I don't think we can thrive in living without wanting at least a little more.