i feel great. things with eileen have gotten so much better. Im onto costume making for halloween. the summer was amazing i had a great time doing so much enjoying life to the fullest. The fall is here football started i have health insurance (clinic) and have taking good care of my health. very positive these days and motivated to get this esty ( Read more... )

i have so much pent up anger towards Eileen (step mom) and its hard to express how i feel to her because she is never available. She is always too busy and when she does call its at 11pm when im just getting out of work myself. Its been a year since my father's death. My father left me his guitars in his will but i have only one and the others are ( Read more... )

nothing is perfect ever.....dennis does not like me. he wants me to change and be this perfect little cookie cutter cookie of his...this is not gonna work. he has had the same problem from the begining of our relationship. He does not like when i go crazy and party hard. He is embarrassed of me and for himself because of me. he drove my car to ( Read more... )

i had a dream elileen did voodoo on dads body and put her self in him. i was happy to see him but it was her...very wrong. i was ANGRY im ANGRY when i think about her in my house. well us girls house. we could have made it a lot harder for her. its a new year and im gonna live strong and well. i love my life. i miss my dad. im glad rebecca;s home ( Read more... )

im gonna start posting more and more, so when i die some one will at least know how i feel. i just woke up with a horrorable dream where i was drunk driving and flew down this road that was not 15 cliff but on the opposite side of the road and i finally stopped and got out of the car went to the cirb and wept, there was a man with glasses staring ( Read more... )

im not shocked hes dead, i just miss him. i wanna talk to him but i cant. that sucks. boo is comming home today for the summer possibly forever. i started taking to fawn again, i cant not have her in my life. i love her. i love dennis too, hes my man. my #1 i know i can count on him. it sucks fawn couldnt be that but oh well, we would have killed ( Read more... )

I looked at my water bottle today and was just plain tin metal and thought to my self if I could just spend an afternoon with her sharing the shade of a tree my water bottle wouldn’t be plain. when I missed her I could look at it and see the doodles she drew on it with the sharpie marker. I can still hear her laugh in my head. Alone is not so bad ( Read more... )

So I started really recording my lp on sunday, its been long in the works and 2 years of material. Thanks to dennis and tom it will be very good quality, they have all the good stuff in their studio. It makes the recovering attic look like well the recovering attic. I found an old frind in the hospital and I'm so glad he's alive! He had an ( Read more... )

i am free. i am completly happy. im doing what i love and living life to the fullest! i am not scared and angry. i am prowd and smiling. went for a swim in the sound it was great. we caught 4 hermit crabs and one asain one. i am so happy to be on long island i love the water. fall is here and all the leaves are changing colors but the katie did's ( Read more... )

i was driving to ny from miami. i was hurt and confused and thought i might just veer off the road and fly into the water. i gave her a choice i told her to jump into the car. she didnt she just stood there and i watched the tears roll down her cheecks. i was being strong i was being me and i wasn't gonna compromise anything for anyone else again ( Read more... )