Why Women Hate Themselves

[saythleen]

Every woman in our society has self-esteem issues.  No woman can ever be what society tells us women are supposed to be: sexy, beautiful, brilliant, the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect career woman.  It's impossible.  And that's why so many women have low self-esteem.

Commercials and the media show women frustrated with frizzy hair or

Comments

Male Commercials

[pimpsophist]

Men deal with commercials that promise to regrow hair, dye graying hair, loose fat, gain muscles, smell better, deal with pimples, have softer skin after shaving, look athletic, drive fast sports cars or manly trucks, etc.

I think that advertising is constantly trying to sell perfection, to both genders.

Re: Male Commercials

[saythleen]

I agree, but I think there's so much more out there for women. We talked about this earlier, but just to post it: women's clothing stores have so much more selection than men's. There are so many more cosmetic products for women (perfume, make-up, hair products) than for men. You said that's an aspect of sexual selection- that women want to look more unique and thus attract the attention of males. I kind of agree, but I still think that's a factor in why women might perhaps have LOWER self-esteem than men. After all, more women attempt suicide than men, don't they?

Re: Male Commercials

[pimpsophist]

Women are more likely to attempt suicide, but men are more likely to commit suicide. So what does that say?

Re: Male Commercials

[saythleen]

That men follow through with things better than women?

OK, so life sucks for all of us. :P

[ephysta]

BOOTYWAPÉ. That's all I have to say about that.

[pcjunkie]

bootywapé?

[ephysta]

Yes. It is a social commentary of.. essentially.. the caddiness of women towards each other. So, if Woman #1 says to Woman #2, "Oh! I love your hair!" and then later says to Woman #3, "OMG... did you see her hair?! UGH!" That... is bootywapé. Or, if a girl gets dumped and her ex starts dating someone else... the horrible comments the dumped girl is bound to make about the new girl is another apt example of bootywapé at work. This word was created by a friend of a former consultant at the CBC (where I work). So the current and other former employees feel it is our duty to tell the world the word that describes this phenomenon. There is a quotation on our blackboard that says, "Whether it's Wal-Mart or Wall Street, where there are women, there's bootywapé,"

[saythleen]

Oh, you linguist. :P

[neome21]

Well I think it's important to take into account that even if society isn't ditating how men should LOOK as much as how women should look, I think that it is saying more about how men should ACT. It's interesting that it's fine for a woman to enter a man's field - liberating even - but how do women and men respond if a man enters a "woman's" field. I can count on my two hands the number of fathers I've met who are actually involved in their children's lives. I once was talking about wanting a househusband to someone who was a housewife and SHE assumed that the only men who would do such a thing would be slackers and unmotivated. I asked her if she was a slacker or unmotivated

[saythleen]

Yeah, I like Dove's new ad campaign too. More of that needs to happen to change the mainstream message. Yes, we can fight things on our own, but the mainstream message is always there, and when it's banging on your forehead all the time, it can be hard to ignore. It affects our consciousness, even if you DO ignore it.

[beltacular]

I feel the same way you do often. I feel that there are so many types of "beautiful" or attractive for a male, yet women have a stereotype. Moderately tall, thin but big breasted, good skin, nice non frizzy hair, lips not too thin or thick, perfect teeth, a small petite nose...the list goes on. Theres this image to fill for women, yet men have more freedom within the image. Look at tv shows: many shows feature an overweight husband with an attractive wife, but never are there shows with an overweight wife and attractive, thin husband. Reba comes close, with her ex husbands new wife being curvy, but still a beautiful face and no wherenear obese.

I constantly feel the pressure to fit in- thin thighs, perfect skin, taller. But I can't be any of those things and as a result hate any girl who is. Its so much easier for her. Her beauty is never disputed. But mine is.

[pcjunkie]

Might the greater emphasis on physical attractiveness in women than in men reflect different degrees to which physical attractiveness matters for attracting mates? It may be stereotypical to say that an unattractive man can get plenty of women as long as he is rich and/or powerful, but in most persistent stereotypes there is some truth. I would argue that the "freedom" men experience is not a freedom to be physically attractive in more ways than women, but a freedom from physical attractiveness as one of their most defining traits.

Doubtless the advertising industry and entertainment industries play a role in focusing our collective attention on physical beauty in women, but these institutions do not exist in a vacuum. Constantly seeing ads with airbrushed, idealized women may skew our perception of female beauty, but the ads are successful because they tap into preexisting, and I would argue evolutionarily ingrained, perceptions of beauty.

[saythleen]

Evolutionary ingrained is certainly debatable. These days the ideal woman isn't curvy and hippy. She's a stick. Evolutionarily, if you want a woman that can successfully bear you children, you need someone with hips and a little meat on their bones. Otherwise they can't get pregnant, much less carry the child to term.

[pcjunkie]

There may be a lot of images of skinny women in advertising and media, but I would argue that there are still beauty norms that persist. For instance, waist-hip ratio of around 0.7 has been shown in studies to be preferred. I wish I had the graphic handy, but there is a great 3x4 graphic of illustrations of female body types. On the y-axis are skinny, average, and slightly overweight. On the x-axis are 4 different illustrations with varying waist-hip ratios. 0.7 ratios looks good across all weight distributions and .7 heavy looks better than .9 skinny, etc. There are also a lot of studies of "ideal" facial structure that cuts across cultures and genders. So I think there is more going on than just the current advertising industry. Besides, what ads show is one thing, but looking at who people actually date may tell a different story.