In writing an entry... I realize that way too much has happened, way too many things have been on my mind, and I think I may be changing who I am, but for once not to escape myself. Anyway, there are way too many things to say for me to say anything at all. If you can understand that. I've been so deep in thought the last couple of days. I've ( Read more... )

Wow... talk about a different reality. In the last 3 days I've been snowblind, canonized, and crucified. I think I like it too. I can't really think of much to say anymore. I thought I did, but I think I forgot. Hmmm.... whatever ( Read more... )

The anti-prom party is definitely Saturday. So, show up if you want. I don't know what time.... 8 or 9? Whatever... You have to dress up. You have to have a date. You should probably have a little money to get fucked up.

What have I done ( Read more... )

The other night walking home from Bryan's, I was feeling a little down. So, I went for a walk around town to clear my head. Just like I used to. This time it didn't work. Every so often I'd pass a place and be overcome by memories I both cherish and hide from. Ugh... This is so hard. I don't like this at all. Memories are the poisons that ( Read more... )

Lately, I feel like my life is at a standstill. I've done all the things I had to do to open myself up for the future. Now, I have this unescapeable "Now what?" feeling. I don't know what to do and it's really making me mad. I try and go out and do everything I possibly can, but nothing really even seems to excite me. Or interest me for that ( Read more... )

Ugh. What a strange couple of days. I had a somewhat meaningful talk with Gezus last night. I said to him, "Given the choice between the chance of being the happiest you could ever be, but if you fail, being the saddest you could possibly be. Or to never be sad, but never be happy either. Which would you choose?" He explained an affliction ( Read more... )

I keep trying to hide who I am, what I feel, and how I act, but everytime I write a song it's there for everyone to see. Hmmm.... Tim was right. It's no use to keep a secret. Everything I hide ends up in lyrics.

I don't know who I am anymore. I find that I am doing everything because I should or can't think of a reason why. Even when I don't really want to do something I do it anyway, because I can't think of a reason not to (other than I just don't want to, of course). That's not like me. I know that, but I can't stop it. I just don't care. Maybe I ( Read more... )

"It must be Fate!" they all say. I can't completely disagree. For, it does seems far too calculated, far too thought-out. Although, who can say now that Destiny has no personality, because this is exactly what someone else would think I wanted. After so many years of fighting against Destiny. After so much time staring him in the eyes and ( Read more... )