so this is pretty shitty and was written at 4 am... which i'm a hack when i'm fully awake so ya ( Read more... )

I had a dream last night... It was more beautiful than I could tell you... I woke up confused like I often do... I couldn't figure out why this reality is more real than the other one... but apparently it is... It made me sad... because I know the realities of my life... I guess I'm just emotional today... conversations last night just hurt... I've ( Read more... )

you know i have been sitting here trying to write... it just doesn't come to me anymore maybe i have nothing to say... or maybe i just can't find the words... maybe i just don't care anylonger... i've been quiet and anti social lately... i revert to the way of the hermit sometimes... I guess these are the times which my depression plagues me the ( Read more... )

i'm watching the saddest most beautiful movie i've ever seen before... voices from a distant star... it fits my mood today... sad and beautiful... i had a dream last night... it was too beautiful... i found my home... and i'm not talking about place of dwelling... it was truly just one of those things you wake up from yearning for the dream... i'm ( Read more... )

alright so theres this book i read once... i know i read a book... its called story of b... and in this book a priest is going through loosing his faith or rather finding another way... its not really the point but in the book he said something that always stayed with me... theres one degree of faith and 50 degrees of loosing it... well the person ( Read more... )

my eyes hurt so bad i can't even describe... i thought they were getting better but now i don't know... no matter how much medicine i have put in them they keep getting puss in them... i woke up with my eye just caked in it again today... its very frustrating that i haven't been able to see straight for days... i haven't been able to sleep more ( Read more... )

i had positively the worst interview i've ever had... it was a rather amusing thing really... if i get the promotion its strictly because of my management... which i doubt.. thats it

i have been trying to write for weeks now... its not going well... maybe i have nothing to say... which is saying something... i mean have you listened to me ramble on and on? life is alright when i stop to breath it in... sometimes i get overwhelmed by all that goes on around me... sometimes i get consumed in depression that i forget to stop and ( Read more... )

steve wants to move in with me again... this would be a personal suicide... i die a little inside everytime he asks... everytime i've said no... i love the son of a bitch more than i can ever say and i don't know that i can say no much longer... it would mean i loose most everything... when i told mom i felt so bad so like shit... i just don't know ( Read more... )

so i've had one of those nights that are a little to introspective... i think entirely too much... usually my thinkings are spurned by movies and books or just random thoughts i have... this is no different... it was a movie called otherside of heaven... it was a beautiful movie about faith and love... it made me think about when i was young and ( Read more... )