My emotions are a revolving door you get stuck inside of. It sucks ( Read more... )

I sort of feel done. I know I've said it before, in angst and in acquiescence. Here is why I am saying it now ( Read more... )

It only took two days to realize just how deep in I already am. Like a kid with floaties, I didn't realize I'd moved so far from the shallow end until those floaties deflated. At which point I could focus only on keeping my head above water ( Read more... )

So begins day three...

It is so early, and I woke many times all night long, and it is going to be a heart wrenchingly long day.
I spend so much time thinking of him that my mind is sort of in a void now... it has no where to land, except back on him. And those are the moments the tears don't stay back.

Sigh.

Dad says, "Give him a few days ( Read more... )

what do you do when you look in the mirror and staring at you is why he's not here
what do you say when everything you said is the reason why he left you in the end
how do you cry when you every day you shout won't ever bring him back again
i hate myself for loving you

So I got all drunk and sloppy last night, had a meltdown of tears and anger with Ronny as my fortunate witness. He had to drive us home and he vacated promptly after delivering me and the car. I was in the bathroom when he left and I did run after him, to no avail. I ended up walking my usual block, a hot mess of anguish ( Read more... )

Holy cow I've been a busy lady this week.

I think I tolerate life better when I am well-scheduled. So, book me up.

It never was a question of perfection. It's always been a question of value - does the potential benefit outweigh the known cost? It is simple economics, the first thing you will learn in econ101 ( Read more... )

He facebooked, "I don't want you to be perfect... cause I'm not perfect either."
And, yes, I'm rather sure it is for me.
I found some comfort in that. Somehow, I let go of some of the fear I have over falling in love again, over falling for him. He makes me happy in a way I haven't been in years.