'Approaching Normal' - Prologue
New story....which should probably not be allowed from be all things considered, but alas, I cannot help myself. I hope you all enjoy, and as always, feel free to leave a note or a thought!
Prologue - The End, My Friend
We can work it out, except when we can’t.
“Nathan!” I call, hurrying to catch up to him. “Wait up a second!”
He stops slowly, reluctance written clearly in the tense hold of his shoulders. It takes a few seconds longer before he turns to face me, and my heart crumbles a bit more in those painfully naked seconds. “Why? There’s nothing to say now, Haley. There’s nothing between us, and nothing to say about it.”
I blink at him, pathetically owlish as I stare at him, unable to comprehend. “But Nathan, we’re married, and we have to talk! That’s the only way to make things work!”
“It can’t work,” he says softly. “It won’t work for me. This isn’t what I want anymore, this marriage. This isn’t where I think I should be, where I think you should be. This isn’t right.”
I gape silently at him, having no comeback for that. What do you say when someone tells you he doesn’t want you in his life anymore, period? Apparently nothing; you just make the fishface at him. It’s just, we’ve had this conversation so many times now that I don’t know if there’s much fight left in me now. Maybe he’s right; maybe there isn’t anything left to say or do.
“Say something,” he commands harshly. “Come on, aren’t you going to beg me again? Get down on your hands and knees for me? Tell me that it’ll be different, better? Say something, Hales!”
I shake my head, taking a deep breath, thinking of all that’s transpired between us. All of my wrongs, and yes, all of his. “I - I don’t think that there is anything left to say, Nathan. You’ve made it painfully clear how you want things, and you’ve made it even clearer that means that there is nothing I can say.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you,” he insists, a little softer this time. “I really don’t want that.”
Too late, I almost retort, but I don’t. That wouldn’t be fair, all things considered. At the end of the day, I’m still the one that left first, and that apparently counts for everything. It doesn’t matter who left subsequently, or who cheated and who didn’t - it only matters that I dared to leave. And fine, I can live with that. I hope. It’s not like I’ll have a choice now.
“I’m sorry that this is ending in this manner,” I say simply. “I love you, Nathan. More than I’ll ever love anyone.” He opens his mouth to protest, but I keep going. “I love you enough to let you go, if that’s what you need.”
He blinks in surprise, his mouth dropping open in the barest hint of surprise. “You aren’t going to fight with me about this?” he asks, clearly not even trusting that I can do that right.
“Not anymore,” I shrug, trying to hide the hurt, the devastation, the excruciating break of my heart.
He’s clearly nonplussed, and as I open my mouth to tell him I’ve changed my mind, that I will fight, forever, he nods with a finality that shatters me. “That’s good, it’ll make it easier that way.”
Choking back a sob, I nod, trying to keep a brave face on. The last thing I need right now is for him to see me break down. “Good luck, Nathan Scott,” I whisper, biting my lower lip. “I hope you get everything you ever wanted. You deserve that.”
“You too, Haley James,” he nods, managing a small smile. “You - whatever good I do, it’ll be because of you. I hope you know that, know how much that will mean to me.”
I don’t, not anymore, but I nod as if I do, holding my hand out to him. He takes it in his, surprising me by using it to pull me to him. As I wrap my arms around him, I let the tears flow, pouring out a tiny fraction of the grief and loss this is causing in me.
My husband was leaving Tree Hill to spend his last year of high school at a private school in Raleigh that featured an elite basketball program. And he wanted to leave a single man.
“Maybe someday,” he whispers over his shoulder as he goes.
“No,” I disagree, knowing that he doesn’t mean it. Not even believing it myself. “We had our chance, but we blew it.” He doesn’t contradict that, doesn’t offer up someday as a tantalizing promise of hope again.
Because someday is a pipe dream, a promise not intended to be kept. A way out.
I knew better than to believe in ‘someday’.
But I still can’t deny him his way out.
Chapter One *** Chapter Two *** Chapter Three
Prologue - The End, My Friend
We can work it out, except when we can’t.
“Nathan!” I call, hurrying to catch up to him. “Wait up a second!”
He stops slowly, reluctance written clearly in the tense hold of his shoulders. It takes a few seconds longer before he turns to face me, and my heart crumbles a bit more in those painfully naked seconds. “Why? There’s nothing to say now, Haley. There’s nothing between us, and nothing to say about it.”
I blink at him, pathetically owlish as I stare at him, unable to comprehend. “But Nathan, we’re married, and we have to talk! That’s the only way to make things work!”
“It can’t work,” he says softly. “It won’t work for me. This isn’t what I want anymore, this marriage. This isn’t where I think I should be, where I think you should be. This isn’t right.”
I gape silently at him, having no comeback for that. What do you say when someone tells you he doesn’t want you in his life anymore, period? Apparently nothing; you just make the fishface at him. It’s just, we’ve had this conversation so many times now that I don’t know if there’s much fight left in me now. Maybe he’s right; maybe there isn’t anything left to say or do.
“Say something,” he commands harshly. “Come on, aren’t you going to beg me again? Get down on your hands and knees for me? Tell me that it’ll be different, better? Say something, Hales!”
I shake my head, taking a deep breath, thinking of all that’s transpired between us. All of my wrongs, and yes, all of his. “I - I don’t think that there is anything left to say, Nathan. You’ve made it painfully clear how you want things, and you’ve made it even clearer that means that there is nothing I can say.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you,” he insists, a little softer this time. “I really don’t want that.”
Too late, I almost retort, but I don’t. That wouldn’t be fair, all things considered. At the end of the day, I’m still the one that left first, and that apparently counts for everything. It doesn’t matter who left subsequently, or who cheated and who didn’t - it only matters that I dared to leave. And fine, I can live with that. I hope. It’s not like I’ll have a choice now.
“I’m sorry that this is ending in this manner,” I say simply. “I love you, Nathan. More than I’ll ever love anyone.” He opens his mouth to protest, but I keep going. “I love you enough to let you go, if that’s what you need.”
He blinks in surprise, his mouth dropping open in the barest hint of surprise. “You aren’t going to fight with me about this?” he asks, clearly not even trusting that I can do that right.
“Not anymore,” I shrug, trying to hide the hurt, the devastation, the excruciating break of my heart.
He’s clearly nonplussed, and as I open my mouth to tell him I’ve changed my mind, that I will fight, forever, he nods with a finality that shatters me. “That’s good, it’ll make it easier that way.”
Choking back a sob, I nod, trying to keep a brave face on. The last thing I need right now is for him to see me break down. “Good luck, Nathan Scott,” I whisper, biting my lower lip. “I hope you get everything you ever wanted. You deserve that.”
“You too, Haley James,” he nods, managing a small smile. “You - whatever good I do, it’ll be because of you. I hope you know that, know how much that will mean to me.”
I don’t, not anymore, but I nod as if I do, holding my hand out to him. He takes it in his, surprising me by using it to pull me to him. As I wrap my arms around him, I let the tears flow, pouring out a tiny fraction of the grief and loss this is causing in me.
My husband was leaving Tree Hill to spend his last year of high school at a private school in Raleigh that featured an elite basketball program. And he wanted to leave a single man.
“Maybe someday,” he whispers over his shoulder as he goes.
“No,” I disagree, knowing that he doesn’t mean it. Not even believing it myself. “We had our chance, but we blew it.” He doesn’t contradict that, doesn’t offer up someday as a tantalizing promise of hope again.
Because someday is a pipe dream, a promise not intended to be kept. A way out.
I knew better than to believe in ‘someday’.
But I still can’t deny him his way out.
Chapter One *** Chapter Two *** Chapter Three