Comments | scharnweber: berlin - is it good, or is it whack? violence and amity

scharnweber

berlin - is it good, or is it whack? violence and amity

Aug 27, 2005 02:29

- - - aka "why i have a livejournal ( Read more... )

Comments 13

miromi August 27 2005, 04:48:08 UTC

what? what happened? don't let it all end in flames!

scharnweber August 27 2005, 16:22:05 UTC

nothing happened, really. i probably would have forgotten about the whole thing by now (and i pretty much have) but for the reaction of my friends here.. which has been confirmed for me today. the disparity between what friendship is to me and what it is to most of the people i have met here has been bothering me for some time. if it is a choice between having friends i can't trust or count on (friends who don't trust or count on me) and not having friends at all, i will happily choose the latter.. harsh words maybe, and ben has criticized me for this kind of harshness, but i prefer to know where i stand when the question arises.

she was a nasty kant but you had good will andrelina August 27 2005, 18:49:36 UTC

aaaawwwww, noooooo. it saddens me that last night's events and their "friendshipial" implications make you happy to be leaving berlin so soon ( ... )

Re: she was a nasty kant but you had good will scharnweber August 28 2005, 02:03:15 UTC

there is no overlapping social circle or conflict of interest - we are talking about a girl no one had ever met.
i am done with the whole group.

can't we just all get along?!? andrelina August 28 2005, 10:08:52 UTC

i thought her boyfriend worked at the callcenter with some the others. not that that automatically puts him or her in the same social circle. but i guess, sphere of contact??? whatev. the whole thing was a messy mistake on all sides. but friendship is a two-way street. and in all honesty. even if you say some people weren't the friends you thought they were, you giving up on them so quickly doesn't sound like you were the better friend either. why can't everybody just apologize to each other and forgive and forget???

Re: can't we just all get along?!? scharnweber August 28 2005, 13:20:38 UTC

no point in arguing about the same social circle thing, no one had ever met the girl before, probably never meet her again, etc.
and like i said, this is something that has been bothering me for quite a while, not a single upsetting incident, but the straw that broke the camel jockey's back. i think you and i have even talked about this kind of thing before..
i don't really care about being the "better friend" - friendship should not be a competition..
the "can't we all just get along" thing is a nice sentiment.... and if this were just about one night where lots of people were drunk and dramatic, great, apologize, forgive, go on with your lives. but you can't forgive and forget fundamental flaws in a relationship.
i don't plan to start being uncivil or to make any enemies, i just don't want to delude myself any longer about who my friends are, it is much too painful.

that thing anonymous August 29 2005, 12:39:48 UTC

hey rams it´s meg ( ... )

Re: that thing scharnweber August 29 2005, 13:52:51 UTC

well i grew up right outside dc, which is, due much to its position as the seat of an ever-shifting u.s. government, also a city of transients. kids don't really let that kind of thing run their lives and i don't think it had too much of an effect on the way i or my peers made friends - though every year, one of your friends would invariably move away, and you'd meet new people, this didn't mean you'd devote yourself any less to the friends you had. at this point, maybe people are a little more fragile, i don't really know. i haven't seen anyone sabotage their own friendships but i don't doubt that it happens.. whether this would be less painful than just saying goodbye and hoping to see the person again probably varies wildly among individuals. if i am secretly trying to sabotage my relationships with people, it is completely unbeknownst to me and consciously seems like a very roundabout and silly way to do things. like i said i have been worried for a few months about whether some of the people i think of as my friends have a ( ... )

how full of shit can one person be? anonymous August 29 2005, 16:34:36 UTC

meg again. this isn't something that "happened" outside of my store - this is something that you did. why can't you just come out and apologize directly? the fact that you are still creeping around the subject tells me that you realize what you did was completely fucked up but are too much of a coward to actually admit it. gtrow the fuck up

Re: how full of shit can one person be? scharnweber August 29 2005, 16:48:58 UTC

hey meg,
how about how much time does one person have to sit around and psycho-analyze others to death....yes something happened that night,i was assaulted by someone and no one defended me.then i tried to defend my self in a non violent fasion and all i hear from you is "oh my god. my curtains, my rug! now kids stop fighting!".
how old are you? 45? maybe i need to grow up,but you need to stop acting like everyones fucking mom...

Thread 5

golden lily anonymous August 30 2005, 13:50:49 UTC

ok,
those last few comments are actually a joke me and ramsey were playing.
sort of a see-how-silly -internet-discussions- can- become sort of thing.
also i thought it would be obvious it was a joke and lighten everyones mood and blah blah blah.then i slept on it and thought it might not be such a good idea...
on another note did you know that the smallest level of bound feet for women during the ming dynasty(i believe) was known as "golden lily" and the shoes for these women were about the size of a six month old infants feet.i infact own a pair of these intricatly beautiful,yet at the same time grotesque objects,but they are in portland.love,meg

anonymous August 31 2005, 06:48:58 UTC

i'm glad you're coming to philly.