indifference is a specific kind of freedom
awareness of potentially defining moments is good

giving myself massive anxiety by creating an application for school at 1am and looking at all the documents i need to submit.... heart is going "eeeeeeks!" i feel nauseous my confidence level is at an estimated negative two percent

i want this more than anything in the world and i almost wish i didn't

I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT TO SEE RADIOHEAD LIVE FINALLY

"i'm trying to do my work but i feel so happily overwhelmed listening to sufjan aaaah"

"haha screw work! only sufjan will be there always, work will be gone once you complete it"

this saturday has been spent in relaxing and going over statistics for my final exam in two days. how strange to think that after monday i will never have to attend a statistics class in my life (cross fingers). two hours ago i listened to phantom fireworks on repeat with sandalwood incense and my orange lamp burning bright, moving my incense stick ( Read more... )

a bright sunday afternoon filled with blonde on blonde on repeat, reminding me of soft slow days ( Read more... )

the phone rings and then there's a whimper, then soft sobbing
silence, and then a small voice that whispers
'i didn't want it to happen, i don't think it was my fault'
suddenly the dial tone rings in my ear
i did not get to tell her it was not her fault
it was not her fault

sufjan is killing me in the most gentle and beautiful way

'with my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied,
i am crying in the bathroom'

it is so nice to lie in bed after a good night out, feeling content and absorbing the lightness of life as of late. my days are kept busy with work and my research plans, both of which are a continual source of excitement for me, and i always always feel so lucky to be doing work that i care about, work i am happy to live and die for. my night was ( Read more... )

while brushing my teeth a minute ago i was reminded of how my grandma once told me that i have to put my teeth together and brush the entire front part, from left to right and then across. this is a memory that consistently appears and i wonder why this is so, since it doesn't seem to have any particular impact on my life. another consistent ( Read more... )