My Grandma Jan has done some weird and bizarre things during her time on this planet. She once hit my sister with a rubber chicken at Walmart. When my aunt burnt her tongue, Granny suggested that she "slam down some pop." During a Sunday drive, she sped up her car in order to hit a bird and later claimed to not remember killing it. But last ( Read more... )

I read in the paper recently that people can be allergic to the cold, and I can't stop googling it. I'm afraid I'll develop it if I don't already have it. It tends to occur in people who live in cold climates and are sensitive to the cold. Other risk factors include having had mono and anemia. Sweet Jeezis! I'm going to be housebound for the ( Read more... )

I was cleaning out my desk -- aka bedside table that happens to be full of desky stuff -- today, and I happened upon the notebook with Madlibs that I made up when we went to Michigan last summer. Here is the one that was actually funny. I love Madlibs to death ( Read more... )

My oh my it's been a while. I don't really have an excuse for not writing because this semester was by far the easiest of my Duke career. I'm just one of those people who can't do anything if I'm not really busy; aka I'm stupid. But Davis's heartwarming entry (which, by the way, made me burst into tears a little) inspired me to write a mini- ( Read more... )

A few nights ago, I had a vivid dream. I awoke at about 5 a.m. after having it and thought it was totally brilliant and wrote down what had happened in the dark. In the morning I awoke, read what I had written, and realized I'm autistic. Here's an excerpt ( Read more... )

So I've decided what I'm going to do this summer. I'm going to buy a bus and turn it into a moving muffin restaurant slash brothel. It'll be called Hot Muffins on the Go, which is ambiguous enough to work for both businesses. It's perfect, because everyone loves eating piping hot muffins while in motion and also everyone loves prostitutes. Get ( Read more... )

I saw Meryl Houser last week. She was in town with her choir, and my choir had dinner with them. It was totally adorable, and we reminisced about the olden-timey days when we were just little girls with a dream, a dream of making a career out of being in a children's choir. Then we talking about how we're both living the dream, aka clinging with ( Read more... )

Sabrina got a cat. His name is Chives Jackson, and he's eight. Chives Jackson is very large and furry. He likes cat treats, and he refuses to play. I tried to arouse his playful nature with catnip, but he just calmly ate the catnip then sauntered out of the room. For those of you who don't know much about cats, Chives Jackson eating catnip is ( Read more... )

The other day, I was putting away some Downy-fresh laundry when I noticed there was a patch of mold at the corner of my windowsill. Initially, I was unalarmed. There is a pillow that rests between my window and bed to block the draft, which I removed, only to find the back coated in mold. As if this wasn't bad enough, there were three beanie ( Read more... )

Sabrina's 50 samosas party was a smash hit. Brian Moses took his first shot ever with Brandi and me after we had decided to 'fuck juice' and just sit on the couch doing shots for the rest of the night. Alex showed up late wearing nothing but running shorts, a blazer and rollerblades; there may have been a top hat involved as well. At the end of ( Read more... )