( Read more... )

i try so hard everyday just to get through the simplest things. i have been so tired. i am concerned that i am getting sad for no good reason or so many reasons that i get confused, and my body gets just as confused, so it aches in places aside from my head and my heart just to get back at me. i have been wanting to keep my heart in a birdcage. my ( Read more... )

i want, desperately, to know the definitive list of individual things that can outweigh sadness. for a long time i wanted to write it, but i realized i wouldn't know where to begin.

*i really am sad, all of the time. do not be deceived by whatever i do to suggest otherwise. it will always catch in the corners of my eyes and the spaces between my ( Read more... )

things that mean sadness sometimes, but also love othertimes:

1. ocean, coming from and returning to
   
2. constellations, moon-phases
   
3. falling stars & comets
   
4. passing the bakery and thinking of you
   
5. streetlights in the puddles just after a rainy night
   
6. being curled under a blanket
   
7. seeing you in a line of poetry
   
8. the way the phone rings in the hallway
   
9. ( Read more... )

my life feels a bit tidier, in the face of everything happening, even just for a while. the kitchen's newly painted and the sunlight hasn't failed us yet. some days i get so optimistic that my hopes have hopes and in my dreams i dream only of waking up to a plain, happy day and sleeping a plain, sleepy sleep ( Read more... )

i'm supposed to be studying right now, about the relationships that exist inside triangles and circles. sine and cosine waves repeating in periods and cycles. my mind keeps wandering ( Read more... )

i woke up this morning with a sweet taste in my mouth i couldn't identify. like so many other things in my life, i don't know where it comes from, why it has chosen to be with me ( Read more... )

my mother
we have these copper hearts that can take the blows -- crumpling at the strike, yes, but only bending, not breaking.
these copper hearts that hold warmth, that get tarnished, that sometimes melt so easily.

my father
for string theories, latin from age 3 and up, quantum mechanics while eating ice cream, getting seasick together ( Read more... )

 
i like it when the wind blows strong -- makes me feel like i'm walking next to you, like someone's hands in my hair again.

A.)   i don't even know where to start counting:

- the number of times i promised to stop writing about love and sadness for a while, and instead write about courage, ferocity. (see also: the savanna; lions)

- the instances i don't keep my word vs. the times i don't even have to.

- eyelash wishes vs. dreams come true.

- the number of times i ( Read more... )