I'd feel colder when I walk alone (Do you feel alive?)

[wotchesyou]

Who: Tonks and You!
When: All day Friday, Friday gonna explore Anatole on Friday.
Where: Various points in the city itself but in the end she’s going to end up here, at the Memorial Tree to think.
Format: Paragraph to start then whatever tickles your fancy.
What: Exploration.
Warnings: N/A at this point.

Comments

Oh, Remus. =(

[wotchesyou]

"Oh, well, you know, everyone's a bit worried since the breakout at Azkaban. It's only a matter of time before the Dementors defect completely I think." Tonks let out a little breath. "Sirius is going, well, was going a bit mental. I suggested Polyjuice potion as a way for him to get out. Mad-Eye overheard me though. He had a fit. Shame."

She made a face. Moody hadn't even been on the same floor when she suggested it. "Anyway... The kids are back in school but I worry about them with that nutter Umbridge there. She's such a bloody cow. I'm not sure how Hogwarts got saddled with her."

Tonks did not and would never like Umbridge. It was highly unlikely that she would ever feel anything positive about that vile, toad-like woman. She was cruel. She was a bigot. Most importantly, she made it very hard for a very good friend of hers to get a job and generally be accepted in wizarding society.

"I guess you could say that mostly everyone was alright." You're a bit ahead of me, you tell me how everyone was... is. It was a thought and a

/apologetic grin/ I think he's going to ease up on angst very soon. Maybe not this thread but...

[lumenrelegandus]

Risky as it was, he indulged a moment: closed his eyes and thought back.

"I was living at No. 12 with Sirius."

Their last year together. Remus'd spent much of it guarding Sirius, himself, keeping his friend not only confined, but entertained/distracted/occupied enough that he'd stay so. There were other small assignments, but it was before his major "underground" work; so Siriusminding-including the overhaul cleaning job on No. 12-was Lupin's all-but-official main job that year with the Order.

Just as it rather had been his main job at school.

"…Mental…" Could that be a bit of a smile? "…absolutely."

The smile fell as he opened his eyes, and looked at Tonks searchingly. "I can't remember the exact… Did… you ever… come down to the sitting room in the middle of the night… I was alone there… we had hot chocolate together?"

[ooc: He's referring to the first beat of this. It's the first moment he'd become aware of some kind of chemistry between them. I fooled with the timeline; there's a quote that sets it after a scene in HPB, but

Aww.

[wotchesyou]

"Yeah, you were." Tonks smiled. "Mental. Gone 'round the twist. Completely nutters, whatever phrase you'd like to use. Allow me to demonstrate. Sirius is such a nutter that he's not only gone 'round the twist several times but still isn't as mental as Mad-Eye. See? I think it's your turn now."

She reached out with her elbow to nudge him gently. Tonks wasn't thinking about that gesture. It was just something that she did. "I wish I would have thought of that, hot chocolate with you. I bet you make the best." Her tone was wistful, regretful even. But in all the times where had crashed at 12 Grimmauld, she'd been too exhausted to wake up in the middle of the night. "Although I suppose if I had, I would have found excuses for having to stay the night. Oh, I can't go home. They're fumigating. Oh, I can't go home. There's a flood. Shame. Hot chocolate?" Now that she had the opportunity to think about it, she thought it was a tragedy.

"If you ever get the urge to make a cup, I wouldn't say no." Tonks smiled back at him.

((Oh, bb. I wish

[lumenrelegandus]

One can feel too much too strongly and then just stop. After one's imagined maximum capacity is far exceeded, which it always will be, a true threshold can still be reached. The emptiness that settles shouldn't be maintained. It can't last. For a moment, it can be necessary. It can be peace and relief.

Remus's face went blank for a moment. He couldn't think about gone and nonexistence and new start and true ending or parallel worlds or alternate us or anything at all. There was no thinking a way out of this, no feeling hard enough to change anything, and though he could have chosen to turn thinking and feeling off, for a moment, of their own accord, they just let up.

Unfortunately, this meant he wanted nothing so much at that moment as to just sit perfectly still and alone.

"I'd like that," he said, not knowing exactly in what way it was true but knowing the opposite certainly wasn't. Then, thinking it was probably true that he had something waiting for him but not wanting to lie by saying so, said only, "I should probably go… I'm

[wotchesyou]

Had she said something wrong? Did she come across too strong with the hot chocolate? Tonks opened her mouth to say something and then promptly shut it. She didn't know the reason for his strangeness. It might've not had anything to do with her, she supposed and rather than assuming something she just kept quiet.

His strangeness could entirely be related to Anatole. There was a part of her that wanted to know and ask but another part of her, of slightly larger size, did not want to know. Maybe she shouldn't push. Maybe she should just let it be but Merlin-on-a-broomstick, was it ever hard either way.

"Well, it is getting a bit late. I don't mind at all. I should let you go." She smiled at Remus. She smiled to show that there were no hard feelings at all. Tonks stopped in her tracks. The Outlander Apartments, she believed, were in the other direction. "You have a nice night Remus. I'll catch you around."

((Ending it here is good but you have absolutely no reason to apologize, I assure you. <3))

[lumenrelegandus]

And yet, after all that, he still moved automatically to kiss her. (Undemanding, without motive; pure muscle memory. The natural accompaniment to "goodbye".)

He stopped well short of contact, but perhaps not before the impulse was identifiable.

"Thank you," he said, clumsily, "you too."

In his hurry, he all-but morphed into Moony as he turned and strode away.

[Yay! Thanks bb. -I only apologize for the "could [have chosen to turn…]" that should've been a "couldn't"!!]

[wotchesyou]

Tonks pulled back. Her eyes were large. Had he? No. Her imagination was just in overdrive. Remus had just misstepped. He wasn't klutzy but she was sure that every now and again everyone had one clumsy moment. That was it entirely, it had to be that.

"Right. Goodnight Remus, take care of yourself."

She watched him walk away. When his figure was distant enough, Tonks turned and shook her head. Everything in Anatole was just so bloody bizarre.