Nobody actually reads my journal and I feel the need to rant and ramble so I am going to do that now ( Read more... )

Depression sucks. Like the actual medical kind, not just feeling really sad. Because right now I don't feel sad but I know I am depressed. I've barely been able to do anything but sleep lately. And I was doing really well and I've lost between 12-15 pounds but all I wanted to do all weekend is eat. Not to mention the cigarettes. I have been smoking ( Read more... )

In a little over 14 hours I can buy alcohol. Of course, I'll probably have to get my new license before I can do that so it may have to wait til tomorrow. Dammit.

As always, Chi Phi rocks ( Read more... )

How do you convince someone who's probably out of your league that you are good enough for them? How do you take flirting to the next level without making an ass of yourself if rejected? How do you really know if someone is just playing around or if they really like you? It used to be clearer but then I got a boyfriend and kept him for a long time ( Read more... )

I just want to feel okay again. I want to feel safe again. I want to feel like I can be me without ridicule, because its been far too long since I've done that. I want to feel pretty again. Like I am wanted again, but it has become far to obvious that people don't want me. They may like me, think I'm funny or sweet, but not enough to spend the time ( Read more... )

Work was long today. Those of you who don't know, I now work at b.d.'s mongolian barbeque in the Arena District. I was on the grill form 11-7 and it was a hockey game night so I made some decent money and got to hang out with one of the guys that I think are absolutely adorable there. (I guess its safe to say I have two full-blown crushes from work ( Read more... )

This song is by a group called Marry Me Jane. I heard the song first on the movie If Lucy Fell and I love it. I feel like this sometimes ( Read more... )

Life's looking up a little. I started getting more hours at work (which I definitely needed). I'm thinking about picking up a second job though. I saw that the Garden is hiring and I think I might apply just to see if I could get a job there. I bet I could. Hmmm...its a thought.

I'm homesick, I'm lonely, and I'm broke (having a new job sucks until you get accustomed to the pay schedule). I feel like a burden to most people, like I'm only tolerated not liked. I am pretty sure that I am right on the edge of a nervous breakdown or something more drastic ( Read more... )