(Untitled)

Sep 29, 2005 01:50

this is the intro to a story I might, or might not, keep writing ( Read more... )

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Comments 9

immortalize September 29 2005, 10:25:51 UTC
also a bit "choke"ish.
it's good. funny.
does it bother you when i catch the little mistakes and correct them? b/c if so, i'll stop doing it. they just catch my eye. things like spelling or punctuation or whatever.
there's only a couple on here so let me know if you need them pointed out.
capiche?
is that even spelled correctly?

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killerbabydoll September 30 2005, 03:28:05 UTC
Capice, I think.
xx ari

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sh0ter September 29 2005, 13:49:45 UTC
mr. bateman....wait I mean this is original. wait no. eh fuck it.

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espiritudemente September 29 2005, 20:03:58 UTC
::squirm:: Vivid. Makes me nervous, angry, and laugh at the same time.

Job well done. ((applaus))

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killerbabydoll September 29 2005, 20:45:50 UTC
I agree with Jessica. It reminded me of Choke almost immediately.
Which doesn't mean it isn't good. It's written well.
It's just not as original as some of your other work.
xx ari
P.S. Why are you always incoporating someone's ex girlfriend into your stories?

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sh0ter September 29 2005, 20:50:24 UTC
yeah justin? which ashley is it this time?

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scotchhooligan September 30 2005, 00:01:50 UTC
i hate you, kenny.

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do_san September 30 2005, 16:39:23 UTC
*chuckle*

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