The dark blue sky is rinsed out by the shredded dust ( Read more... )

I am floating free in life right now. With no job, no money and living at home ( Read more... )

On the counter of my sink sits my toothbrush holder. Two spots for two brushes. Only one brush rest it self there. Empty, nothingness sits in the other. I can't wait till I look and again two brushes sit together. Like it once did.

I'm a selfish lover who had a selfless lover. I woke up after to late to realize that I love you selflessly. That I want to love you selflessly. But because of decisions I made in the past I never got a chance to learn how with you. But today it stops. Today I acknowledge the choices in the past I did with out thinking of the consequences. Loosing ( Read more... )

I could have slept all day, in a deep sleep.

But I was dreaming of you. You called me, your voice was so real. It startled me awake and now I can't sleep.

I'm haunted by you laying with her, sharing our dream with her.

I need a drug that makes me forget you forever.

As I sit, I try to block out our conversation from my head. Moments of weakness have me dissecting it but there was nothing to dissect. You lied about who you are seeing/fucking. You tell me you wish things with me had changed 8 months ago so we would be happy now. You tell me the pain I caused is to deep and you wish you could forgive me. That you ( Read more... )

I feel like everything I do isn't enough, or good enough. I feel like I'm always unhappy or attacking someone. I feel like I'm always mad about something.

I use to have someone to confide in and even out my emotions. Someone that kept me calm and rational. I miss having a someone.

A lake of regret that keeps growing in size that some day it will be an ocean.

Damn my impulsive ways, Damn my emotions.

Why do I keep doing these things. How do I stop? I've never been good at these things.

When will this madness end? When will I not be crying my eyes out in the shower, or thinking of things from the past. 2 months of this, I haven't really allowed myself to heal, but how do you heal from 9 years? 9 god damn long years, and to be thrown away. No second chance, no time to prove myself. I'm killing any hope of that because I don't have ( Read more... )

Ending a chapter and walking away is nearly impossible. Your heart and brain conflict, stuck in an eternal debate on whats best ( Read more... )