I have decided to change the direction of this journal... it was meant to be a pseudo-art project in which the duel nature of our world is showcased. With me making statement's that were a bit over the top and then having Midget Farmers showcase the love side of things. I have failed in my presentation and execution of this, oh well so goes life. ( Read more... )

last night was a fun night... god it was all I could do not to actually tea bag Jon Heffley's dad... god damn that would have been the most fucked up thing I could have ever done and I had to go out to my van and smoke a bowl just to talk myself out of doing it... when I found out his folks were there this crazy idea popped into my head to fucking ( Read more... )

well I had a set at Lestats last night and i have to say it went well. I was a bit nervous as the room was packed and I was first up and I had some friends come out for a birthday. I did ok but a friend of mine videotaped me and I was amazed at how often I said uuuhm.... I must be more mindful when onstage, It was nice to do a room where people ( Read more... )

Love holds no grievances, this is the call I must understand and hold true for myself and yet it is very difficult when this ego's illusion gives us reason to do so. Knowing it is all a holographic projection of my own making. Why then do i choose pain, sickness and separation? i know that I can overcome with love and forgiveness, still i do not ( Read more... )

God Monday sucked! Did a set at Lestats and as I started to do my shit I just wanted to vomit! I was so fucking tired of it all, I just didn't feel it and cut my set early. I hate stand-up

Got piss drunk again at the Store, I need to stop doing that! but I had a great time and slept in my van and don't think I pissed anyone off ( Read more... )

I only usualy drink once a week and I know I should only smoke herb, but god I enjoy getting my drink on from time to time. The saying instant asshole just add beer can be sooooooo true with me, I know this and yet I still enjoy it. I am a fucked up little crack monkey ( Read more... )

So it has come to my attention that people are thinking that I think that I am a genius, this is funny as I cant even spell the word without spell check! I don't think I have ever said anything about myself to make anyone think this. I know I look at life differently than most and I try to think outside the box but I in no way think of myself as ( Read more... )

well my dark mood now has a face, my aunt has passed. She was old and needed to die, even so this would explain the oogie feelings I have been having. The next two weeks will be busy at work (I hope) then it will be dead until spring, hope to make enough to cover rent for a few months so I dont' have to worry and can think and work only on art ( Read more... )

i am sad, don't know why,
parts of me want to die
all I can do is lie
i wish for death to come

i hate this time of year
i am alone in fear
without cheer
i wish for death to come

the passion is gone
there is no fun
good thing I don't have gun
i wish for death to come