Can we all take a moment and think about this ( Read more... )

Making a post isn’t as easy anymore.

But I figured it out.

Anyways. I’ve been living a depressed life for over a year or so. If I’m not lying more like 3.

But, I want to break out of it.
I’m tired of my house being a wreck simply cause I’m lazy and depressed. Just clean it up already.
I wish it were spring. Not fall.

What do you do when you know youve made a mess of your life, and I mean, you realize you have to live with what you got.. but it’s tough.

I’m pretty sure that I’ve had a bought of depression for the last five years. I’ve tried fo manually pull myself out, but have failed.

I’ve let my friends group dwindle.
I’ve let my job crumble.
I’ve let my home life ( Read more... )

So.

I was so excited to see Thursday again.

And AGAIN. I didn’t get to.

Really it wasn’t anyone’s fault per say. But I 1000% believe it’s partially Kaitlyn’s fault.

After we missed them- they were like “well, If I had known you wanted to see the opener…”

We specifically had a conversation that morning before we left town that I didn’t give a fuck about ( Read more... )

So, I met a dude. On scruff. He was in town. He’s a complete dream boat. His names Brandon. I’m making note of it just because- I’m smitten. But. He don’t live here. So. We’ll see.

I want someone... to want me like I want them.

I want someone.. who wants to get lost in movies with me.

I want someone... to be supportive of me.

I want someone.. to push me.. to make me better.

I don’t want someone to complete me, I want someone who pushes me to complete myself.

It’s hard not to feel like I’ve fucked every good part of my life up.

I’m pretty sure when that chick read my cards, she didn’t see me die like I thought. She sawe get hiv. Which back then meant death.

And then loneliness.

CAuse that’s all it seems I’ll have now.

It also just hit me that, poor people think that better off (not necessarily rich) have it easier. when that simply isn't true, they just have to pay for more things.

This is unfair. I find myself in a catch 22- if I get a car I could live in a cheaper area. But, can I afford ALL of the extra bills associated with a car, car payments,

That was a “ ( Read more... )

Have you ever been able to pinpoint in your life that your projected line had shifted?

For better or worse?

I can. And it doesn’t actually feel that great.

This isn’t quite how I thought my mid to late thirties would be. More down, more alone, more afraid.

Not that life’s all bad. Cause it certainly isn’t. But it’s all the same struggles, magnified ( Read more... )

I did make him compromise. it's not a week like originally planned.

also. if I've said 99% of how I feel. and what I want. and he still wants to try to make this work. doesn't that mean there is a shred of hope that we could make it work... with what we both want?