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What a Trip..
Five to six years after the fact.. And here we are. I'm not sure what to say, how to say it, or what needs to be said. I hold on to this LJ in the hopes that someone .. the one... might find me, but that's a fucking pipe dream. Not even sure what a "pipe dream" means... But I don't think it really matters. I am married now, have been for almost 4 ( Read more... ) -
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Let me dust off these bones... From the grave, a lot more to come. I am too excited to start writing, but not tonight.. Soon though. -
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I am so tired.
And so hurt.
I don't recognize who I am, or anything I have ever been.
And I don't know why everyone keeps acting like everything is okay.
Because it fucking is not.
It's not fucking okay.
I am not okay. -
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It's sick.. The hope and faith that I have for things to work out but I am finally, finally coming to the conclusion that they won't, and for me to really move on, I need to give it the fuck up. It's time to cut the ties. No more phone numbers, no more Facebook friends, no more late night texts. I've got to erase the traces like he erased the ( Read more... ) -
salt stained rambles
All I'm looking for is a friend.. Just one, genuine, loyal friend who won't leave my side - no matter how awful I get or how appealing the rest of you look. I want him to be a man, a strong man with gentle hands, and he doesn't have to love me because I want him to, I want him to love me because that's all he can do. He doesn't have to revolve ( Read more... ) -
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How do you learn to control your emotions when it comes to someone that you like? I hate feeling so strongly for someone who feels so little for me. Why, even when I know better, can I not just "get over it?" Is cutting them out of your life the only way to move beyond those feelings? It just seems like I can't win. In the end, my loneliness hurts ( Read more... ) -
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When will I ever meet someone who doesn't revel in my heartache? -
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Pretty much every girl I know is so pathetically dependent on male attention, they rather suffer than go without. I don't understand it, and even more so, I don't understand why I'm not ( Read more... ) -
Ooo, easy livin..
I'm in a wonderful mood today. I woke up later than usual and was a little worried my delayed start might effect my day.. It hasn't, however. Kyle and I got out of bed & started cleaning our whole damn house. It wasn't real dirty but now it's sparkling! It's unbelievable how the state of my home effects my mood - cleaning is almost euphoric. I also ( Read more... ) -
fucking vampire
You make me feel so many awful things. You bring out the worse, you tempt the child, entice the wicked. Everything about you makes my fucking skin crawl: the way you smoke your cigarette, the words that escape your tainted mouth, the false love you try to give. No one knows you for what you are, no one but me because I see it all. I watch you work ( Read more... )