The last straw

[scrooge_scratch]

Okay, this takes the cake. You've all read my rants about my workplace. There are decorations on every surface: lights, evergreens, jingle bells, tinsel, fake snow, you name it. Even our computer desktops match the decor. I'm surrounded by so much red and green, in such eyewatering combinations, that I'm starting to pray for spontaneous

Comments

They want to kill us-- that's my theory.

[spookhater]

I mean, seriously!

Do you know what passes for holiday bonuses around here? Goodie bags. Now, aside from being cheap as Hell, that's not too bad, right?

But what do we get? Circus peanuts. Circus peanuts and candy corn.

If it's candy, can't they at least make it good stuff? Or, Hell, apples or something?

Or cash?

Don't even get me started on what happens if your performance suffers... we're very motivated. That's all I'm saying.

Re: They want to kill us-- that's my theory.

[scrooge_scratch]

Here, if your performance suffers, you get a pep talk. A merry, merry pep talk. Sometimes accompanied by elves jingling bells and throwing glitter over you. Do you know how impossible it is to get rid of glitter once it's in your hair?

I will say I'll take sugar cookies over circus peanuts.

Re: They want to kill us-- that's my theory.

[spookhater]

It could be worse - instead of the candy corn they could give you the peanut-buttery shit in the orange or black wax-paper wrappers. I don't know a single soul who could eat that stuff.

Re: They want to kill us-- that's my theory.

[scrooge_scratch]

Haven't tried it; don't intend to.

[drowelf]

Hey, you think you've got it bad? At least you've got your personal space. Where I work, not only is *everything* shades of pink, but people are constantly coming up and kissing you. I mean, guys and girls alike, right on the mouth. And some of them aren't exactly what you'd call handsome. And last week we had one of those spirit days you mentioned. You don't know horror till you've been kissed by a 300 pound guy wearing nothing but a diaper and a pair of fake wings. *shudder* Can anyone say steer away from the chocolate?

[scrooge_scratch]

You think I don't understand? One word - mistletoe.

It is true that we don't get it as continually as you, but I've gotten very good at monitoring what's over my head at any given moment.

[lady_zylle]

Actually, indulging in some of the chocolate varieties can be helpful. A few dozen of the liquer filled ones do wonders for glossing over the mental scars.

[scrooge_scratch]

Around here it's rum balls and the higher-octane varieties of fruitcake.

[anonymous]

H3y m4n, 5w17(h 411 0f 73h d35k70p5 70 0r4n63 4nd p1nk!!!1 7h4711 5h0w 7h3m!

[scrooge_scratch]

Four years on this blog and I still get comments in l337, even though I keep saying I can't read it.

[drowelf]

I think he said, "Hey, man, switch all of the desktops to orange and pink! That'll show them!"

. . . yeah, trust me, pink isn't an improvement.

[scrooge_scratch]

I've been lobbying for the efficient purity of black and white. They're not much interested in efficiency.

[anonymous]

Have you tried transferring to the Coal department, or does no one actually receive it anymore?

[scrooge_scratch]

No coal. Naughty children get a token present. Seems to me it's not the clearest message, but that's the word from the top.

[chibirisu]

Sounds like someone needs a hug and a flamethrower. ♥

[scrooge_scratch]

Hug, no. Flamethrower, now...