AtLA fic: You Know that Time They Got Married? 3/3
Title: So, That Other Other Time They Got Married
Author: SCWLC
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: For the third, and hopefully last time, Zuko and Katara get married.
Rating: PG
Notes: So, I recycled the format for the wedding from my Proposal series, (which can be found on my author page, in order, all fourteen individual fics), but put in different jokes. Now that this one is done, I will finally move on to other AtLA projects. Many thanks to all my friends who put up with me bouncing ideas off them for this series.
This stank. It was possibly the worst week of her life, and the fact that it was happening right before her wedding was very suspicious. She turned to her mother-in-law and asked, "Do they make you not eat anything for the week before so that you'll be so happy at finally having food you remember it as the best day of your life?"
Ursa just rolled her eyes at Katara. "It's a matter of purification. You're supposed to become the balance to the Fire Lord. Since he is supposed to be utterly consumed with earthly affairs and the moment, you are supposed to go through a period of cleansing to bring you as close to your spiritual centre as possible."
Katara stared at the little bitty ball of rice on her plate and the single wilted piece of bok choy. "I'm going to be close to starvation," she complained. This was lunch. She'd only had rice and water for breakfast. Dinner would be a little more substantial, but she'd eaten better fighting with Sokka over whatever scraps they could muster while travelling with Aang in the Earth Kingdom. It had been six days of this. Six long, hungry, awful days. If Sokka hadn't snuck her meat every night, she was pretty sure she'd have gone on a rampage by the third day in search of more food.
"Oh! Zuko's here for the Display of Creation!" Ursa exclaimed. Katara trudged to the window. Zuko had to do bending displays every day of the week for her. Each of which had a ridiculously overblown name. The first had been the Display of Power, in which he'd used his bending to turn targets in the courtyard to nothing but ashes. Apparently it was bad luck if he took more than one shot to do this. It lasted for an hour. The second day was the Display of Discipline. Zuko had had to use his bending to set very specific things on fire. For two hours. The third day had been the Display of Artistry. That had been actually interesting to watch, since he had run through katas for an hour, not destroying anything for a change, just kind of dancing with the fire. The fourth day he did the Display of Fortitude. In which he had basically stood there for three hours, aiming the largest gout of flame she'd ever seen him produce straight up into the air until he pretty much passed out. The day before had been the Display of Combat, in which he'd had an all-out spar with a dozen benders. That had been interesting, but irritating, since she'd been caught sneaking out to spar with him and was dragged back to the balcony to watch instead.
Now he was out in the courtyard, creating images of animals in fire. Dragon-hawks circled through the air, then transformed into eelhounds. He let those dissipate and a long streamer of fire issued from his palms, and as he moved it transformed into the unagi at Kyoshi Island. Zuko pulled his hands apart and the sea monster split into two halves which became dragons, twisting and circling each other.
It was beautiful.
The display continued until finally Ursa murmured, "This will be the last one." The flames in the air coalesced into a giant ball, which changed shape slowly until . . .
"Appa!" Katara shouted in delight. She saw Zuko grin at her and start to manipulate the flaming sky bison. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ursa becoming more and more perplexed-looking as Appa at first flew, then began to twirl in the air, before finally starting a complex dance that involved all six of his feet.
She kept everything in until Zuko formally bowed and left. Then she sank to the floor, shrieking with laughter. Her husband was an unbelievable dork.
His mother looked baffled.
The next day, Katara was woken at a time of morning so heinous, it shouldn't have been allowed to exist. She was formally bathed by a coterie of maids before preparing for the wedding. First they did her hair. Involved in all this was Bato's mother, who had, by some convoluted process, claimed Katara as a daughter-in-law and had insisted on being part of things. The Fire Nation involved something called a 'Good Luck Woman' in their weddings, and Akaya had insisted on taking the role. She had an enormous scroll of good luck prayers she was supposed to say at each stage of preparation.
So as the maids brushed out her hair, there was a prayer. With each hank they separated out and smoothed into a separate piece, there was a prayer. As each piece was entwined with ribbons, there was a prayer. As those beribboned sections had cherry blossoms and fire lilies twined into it, there was a prayer. By the time they were finished with her hair and the words of luck Akaya had to say, it was two hours past sunrise.
Then they did her face paint. There was lotion and paste and powder and colour and paints for every section of her face, and before the many layers, things were plucked and massaged and exfoliated and Katara was beginning to wonder if the paint was there because her face was going to be so scraped and bruised from the rough handling that it would need the concealment. Finally they finished putting the paint on, and brought out the dress.
Like everything else in the Fire Nation it was red, and tight. Very tight. "A man invented these things," Katara grumbled. "It had to be."
Once she was in the dress, she couldn't walk. Then they gave her a silly little veil and had her kneel in front of an altar at which she was supposed to pray to her ancestors. Katara didn't know why she was supposed to do that, considering that they were all supposed to be happily enjoying their afterlife in the spirit world, but she just sighed and knelt. Bored.
Bored.
Boredboredbored.
That was when Suki came over. "Hey," she whispered, so as not to draw the hovering attention of the various maids who were trying to convince Katara to be 'proper'.
"Hey," Katara whispered back. "If you get me in trouble with Lian, there, I'll never forgive you."
"I brought a knife," Suki told her. "If we time it right, I think we can take apart the seams enough for you to walk like a person instead of a penguin and it'll be too late for the maids to do anything."
Indeed, it took them the better part of an hour and all of Suki's skills of subterfuge to finish the job without anyone noticing. They were done just in time for an incredible racket to approach the house. Her father came down the stairs, looking stunned. "I know he said there would be noisemakers, but this is ridiculous," he said. "Are you ready Katara?"
Katara smiled at him. "I'm ready to stop having to get married to my husband over and over."
Then there were three loud thuds on the door that could, theoretically, be called knocks. Hakoda strode to the door and opened it, allowing even more of the incessant and overblown noise into the house. Sokka and Suki were both failing to muffle laughter, while Toph looked incredibly irate. Aang hadn't been able to make this wedding since he had a treaty to help negotiate in the Earth Kingdom, and Katara was slightly grateful given Aang's tendencies to cheer. She was getting too much of a headache to be cheered right then.
"Everybody be quiet or I'm burying you all!" Toph shouted over the noise. A minor earthquake accompanied the threat and most of the crowd took her seriously. One idiot kept hooting and waving some sort of clacking noisemaker in the air. Toph was as good as her word.
"Thank you," Hakoda told her. Then he turned to Zuko and just waited. He was aiming the look Katara and Sokka had privately named the, I'm-going-to-disembowel-you-if-I-disapprove-for-an-instant, look. Zuko looked petrified. After a really long pause, Katara cleared her throat, and when her father looked at her, she shot him a glare. Seriously. She and Zuko were already married, what was his problem? This was closing the barn door after the ostrich horse had run away, hopped a ship to another continent and started a wild colony.
When he caught sight of her rolling eyes, Hakoda sighed and recited the first line of the Fire Nation ritual. "Fire Lord Zuko, why are you here?"
"And do you have to be so loud about it?" muttered Toph. "I can't hear a damn thing for the idiots outside."
From behind Zuko, Bato muffled a snort of laughter and was promptly elbowed by his wife. Zuko just rolled his eyes and replied, "I have come, Chief Hakoda, to request your daughter's hand in marriage and to join me as my consort and Fire Lady."
"Again," Bato mumbled.
"No kidding," Sokka grumbled. "Ow!" Akaya had hit him and shot a threatening look at her son. Bato looked suitably cowed. Kanna began a muttered conversation that seemed to be on the topic of How to Cow Men With One Simple Look of Death.
Katara wished she could get in on that. Her Looks of Death were losing impact.
Meanwhile, Hakoda had asked what Zuko could do to prove he deserved to marry Katara. Zuko had promptly waved a hand and started a stream of servants coming into the house to deposit various items of value on every available surface. Suddenly, Iroh, who had been making himself part of the background until then spoke up. "Is that my monkey?" he asked as the ugliest statue of a monkey Katara had ever seen was carried in.
Zuko leaned forward and muttered to Hakoda, "I'd take it as a personal favour if you'd toss that thing overboard once you're at sea. Uncle's got a very disturbing attachment to that thing."
"You have given away my monkey?" Iroh demanded. "But it was perfect in its place in the palace front hall."
Zuko slipped her father a small sack of coins. "Payment for services to be rendered," he said.
"Wow," Suki said, "I think its eyes follow you when you move around."
Sokka joined her and the pair of them walked back and forth commenting on the phenomenon.
Katara sighed. Here she was, stuck in front of this stupid altar, waiting for them to get on with things. Finally they did. "I accept these gifts, Fire Lord. I grant my permission for you to take my daughter to your home, to become your wife, Consort and Fire Lady."
Finally she could stand and head out. In all the . . . excitement, Katara had forgotten about her and Suki's bout of tailoring. There were several shocked gasps behind her, and a thud. Katara turned around, and saw that the maids were all in various states of undeniable horror, and one of them had even fainted. Katara shook her head and headed out to where a palanquin awaited her.
Zuko looked quite handsome, but for his gaping jaw. "Katara," he said. "Your dress, what happened?"
"A knife," she said, grinning at him. Then, as she got onto the conveyance, she deliberately let the side closest to her husband, the dress now had an enormous slit up to the thigh on both sides, show off her legs. She felt her grin get wider as Zuko's eyes darkened in a way that promised a lot of fun later that evening.
Then they all trekked off, Katara listening to the incredibly noisy procession as they made their way through the city by the longest possible route. It was more than two hours later when they finally got to the palace. Her arm hurt from the abbreviated waving she'd had to do the whole time, while her face felt stiff and unused from the emotionless mask she was supposed to have maintained for the whole procession.
She ignored the helping hands of soldiers there to get her out of the palanquin, the gasps of shock from the courtiers watching and strode to the palace complex gate. "What happened to your dress?" Zuko demanded again.
"I did some tailoring," Katara told him. "I want to walk places, not hobble leaning on some 'big strong' firebender like some sort of delicate flower."
Her glared sideways at her, which was a little impressive, and said, "That dress was designed by the greatest dressmaker in the whole of the Fire Islands."
"It's a very pretty hobble," she said sharply.
"Well," he said contemplatively, "At least I can fulfil my dream of making love to you while you're wearing a proper wedding dress." He grinned. "It looks like your legs will go wherever I need them too."
She hit him.
Then Bato, looking incredibly nervous, spoke, challenging Katara with the first stage of this round of ritual, to prove she was worthy to be Zuko's wife.
"Isn't my Bato handsome?" gushed Akaya. Ursa, having let her husband and brother-in-law take this first stage without her, said, "I know, just like my little Zuko."
Katara couldn't help but snicker at the look on Zuko's face when he heard that. They trekked through the courtyard, listening to Sokka whine about how hungry he was.
While Ursa and Bato challenged Katara's right to be Zuko's consort, Toph had snuck around behind Katara and was leaning in very close. "What are you doing?" she demanded.
"Do you know you have fruit in your hair?" Toph asked.
She glanced over and then said, "Yeah, why?" Then, "Ow!"
Zuko whipped around. "Katara, are you okay?"
The hellion of an earthbender was already feeding Sokka Katara's hair decorations, telling him that since roses were edible, he could eat those too. "My hair!" Katara gasped. "Toph!"
"Sokka's stopped complaining, right?" Toph told her.
The third challenge and they finally arrived at the inner sanctum. They bowed, Katara said a quick prayer to her mother, made tea for each other's families and Hakoda broke the solemn moment of the ceremony by saying, "Zuko, son, don't give up your day job."
After that, everything was a blur of getting crowned, people cheering and Sokka leaving fast enough to give Aang a run for his money as he headed for the food, followed almost as quickly by a grumpy Toph. The reception that followed was lavish, joyous and Katara felt kind enough even to not kill her earthbending friend for taking her hair from a work of art to a lopsided jumble.
Much later that evening, she and Zuko were finally alone together. Married, hopefully, for the last time.
Zuko was looking handsome and lordly in his formal wear as he sat on the edge of the bed. Katara stepped in-between his legs, smiling at the thought that there was no way anyone could possibly say they weren't married now. "So," said her handsome husband, rather huskily, "What do you think about renewing our vows in a years' time. We could make it an annual-"
She tackled her jerk of a spouse to the bed and tried to pummel him with cushions.
Part Two
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