Primeval: New World -- Ep. 4
So, here I am, very late with this particular one, mostly because between work and getting a new laptop that does not have Dr. Pepper somewhere in the keyboard, I didn't have the time to do this until now. As ever, spoilers, picspam and snark under the cut.
I begin this with a spoiler of sorts. That spoiler is . . .
Danny! Where's Danny!?
So, to start, Space, Canada's answer to the Norwegian STD (didn't you know? Apparently syfy is some sort of Scandinavian word for an STD) is running this ten second spot every chance it gets, during which it tells you to visit the website and download dinosaur special effects, so that people can make third rate YouTube videos with professional grade dinosaurs in them. Oh well, it's a nice publicity shot, isn't it?
Next to that is creature vision cam, because as we all know, all animals see things as slightly blurry and warped versions of themselves with dim, weird colouration. You know, like birds . . . which actually see in a more intense and varied spectrum than we do . . . or snakes, which partially see by smell, which must add a lot more information . . . nevermind. Rule one, don't bring the science into it.
Then it goes through the anomaly and continues to see everything funny. Because that's just how animals see. Okay, I'm done complaining about that now. On to the two guys running a grow-op out of an old train in an abandoned CP Rail Yard. Or CN Rail, or whatever. Abandoned place with lots of trains. They load up the guy on the motorcycle with a lot of pot, and off he goes.
We see our two drug runners, one of whom forgot his gun in the bathroom. Hearing a strange noise (and discovering the No Name Brand Cheetos are missing) they boldly investigate, armed with one gun and one wooden plank. Apparently, the one with the hood has immunity to all dangers from having been a bouncer, and thus is totally cool with being armed with nothing but a plank. His partner is dubious, but lets him go first.
A deeply caring man, that.
That was sarcasm, you may have missed it. It's hard being sarcastic in writing sometimes. Anyhow, they find the most adorable little sharp-beaked baby bird eating the No Name Cheetos. Like a baby raptor, it may be one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Well, actually, not like a baby raptor, because it's a partially grown juvenile, not like one of those newborn chicks that birds of prey put out . . . my noting that people call birds of prey raptors was just totally lost on you all, wasn't it? 'Cause those are just ugly until the down kicks in.
Now is when we get to see the presumed mama of the baby bird, running at about 80 kph, because rural highways like that have speed limits of about seventy to a hundred. I shall suspend my side-eyeing of the speed, and the notion that something would move at those speeds that was seeing everything in blurry near-black and white.
Okay, it snuck up on me about the creature cam. Come on, it was right there.
Yep. Definitely a staple, the time lapse photography of Vancouver. Just in case we all forgot what a scenic city it is when it's not raining.
Toby is unhappy she has yet to risk getting her face eaten off by a prehistoric monster. I guess she doesn't watch movies. Or read books. Or much of anything, because since when does this seem like a good idea if you can get away with not risking the face eating?
Apparently Matt's penchant for super-powered electrical devices has flown across the pond, because Dylan produces wildlife tasers. Toby duly mocks them, then shuts up because it's pointed out they're designed to put down a charging rhino.
Toby's alarm then goes off, telling them that the centrally placed Mac (product placement! Buy Apple, it's what the real science geeks use) has found an anomaly opening up. After much whining and puppydog eyes, Toby has managed to bring Evan around to her way of thinking. She has just as much right as everyone else to wander into life-threatening situations unprepared.
Meanwhile, to make up today's gratuitous Shots For Straight Men, Ange strides into the office in a tiny little skirt, high heels, and with the camera following her legs long past any reasonable reason to do so, save titillation. She does have nice legs, though, doesn't she?
"Evan, you're running a business, or at least you're supposed to be. If you keep this up, you'll have to fire people, close down plants and lose contracts and business. Also, look at my pleading eyes and attractive face with Cindy Crawford-remeniscent mole and tell me you don't want to do me. Hey! Wait! What's she got that I don't? Evan! I love you!"
The two grow-op guys are now hanging out with the baby terror bird in a scene that is slightly remeniscent of Tom and Duncan and the dodo. Luckily, Leggy the Titannis does not have the Prehistoric Goa'uld Parasite of Doom inside him.
Instead, he does not take kindly to being taunted with KFC and tries to bite their fingers off. After the one in green freaks out that he nearly lost a finger, the laid-back dude stuffs the poor birdy into a box.
Dylan and Evan share a moment of deep regard, as evidenced by them pretending they're not about to have a quickie in the woods, despite blatant chemistry-building and being close enough to start up a drinking game based on how many times they almost kiss then don't.
They find the grow-op, get captured by the two schmucks running it and desperately try to convince the two men that they're not going to call the cops the moment they get out of there. Well, actually, based on stuff later on in the episode, Evan might well have considered taking the thing over and running a nice little sideline for himself.
Mac and Toby snipe at each other, as they are clearly supposed to be filling a certain quota of sexual tension as well, Toby expressing aggravation over the fact that she may have implied that Mac is sexy, Mac gleefully enjoying the idea. At least until . . .
The terror bird flings itself at the car, nearly kills them both via nearly causing a wreck, and Toby has the chance to play Brave Little Not-Soldier, a role usually handed to geeks too irrational to go home when they should. So, despite freaking out over a dead body, not knowing how to handle a gun if the look on her face is anything to go by and generally being unprepared, Toby goes with Mac on the rescue mission.
Ange's boss and erstwhile boyfriend sucks, and sucks to the point that she flips out and has a hissy fit in the office. I'd have been more sympathetic if she'd actually raged instead of jamming the shredder with a folder. Still, Evan's being an irresponsible moron, and she really should find a different job.
Evan and Dylan continue to try to convince the two men that they're there to look for wild exotic animals.
They should have said they had a train fetish and were hoping to have wild sex on the tracks, but I suppose that would be too much. I mean, for TV, not for Denial.
Lieutenant Ken Leeds shows up, consulting with Ange about how to get a meeting with Evan when Evan keeps avoiding him. Ange suggests ambushing the man in the halls, and plans to give Leeds a visitor's pass to get around Cross Photonics without trouble. Then he gives her earnest looks and so I took a cap for the Ken fans out there, because he's being all serious and intense about things, and we can cheerfully expect that Ange will take advantage of the man in uniform being about so that she can have wild monkey sex in her office with him. Right?
Right.
Upon seeing Leggy, who gets more adorable every time I see him, Evan is sent out, by himself, with no weapons, to track down and capture Leggy's mom. Well, at least this time he has the excuse of pot-growers with guns keeping him from his own taser, right?
My best cap of the terror bird is here, so here it is, stalking Evan. Who picks up a piece of flimsy-looking rebar. Mac is both concerned for and annoyed with Toby, because it's really hard for him to watch Evan's back(side) when he has to do the same for Toby. Neither of them, aware as they are there is a giant scary bird of doom out there, get back into the hummer, because having some protection from the killer critter would make sense.
The pot guys get into a fight, and it's revealed that the guy in green is the man in charge, and they fight over whether or not to kill Dylan, whether or not to flee the scene, who's really in charge, and Dylan wonders when her exciting career of chasing dinosaurs became playing Dear Abby to two potheads.
Evan still has his rebar.
Mac can't take it anymore and abandons Toby, because he has to find Evan right now, because Evan is the most important person in his life, dammit, and he can't live without him, and what do you expect him to do with all that lube he's stocked up at his apartment?
Evan still has his rebar.
The terror bird chases him, then chases him and Ken, who showed up looking like a Canadian army reject in his Afghanistan-issue camo, then they both get chased, then Mac shows up and flips out because Evan nearly died. He shoots the terror bird a bazillion times, thus ODing the poor thing and killing it via ketamine, and it's all very sweet how much he loves Evan. Then the three of them get chased, because there were two adult birds, not just one, Evan gets bit on the leg, and we see Ken, kneeling in front of Evan as he binds the wound on the upper thigh.
Evan is, of course, in pain.
From the bite.
Mac would like some attention over here, thanks. Evan can just stop looking down at where Ken's busy with his upper thighs. And stuff.
Toby has a chance to look kind of badass when she walks in on the continuing argument between the two grow-op guys, then shoots the nicer one with a tranq. In the ass. It's perhaps the best shot in the ass moment I've ever seen on tv. So, I have low standards, so sue me.
The poor man passes out, with his eyes open, which is extrememly creepy and made me wonder if that dose of ketamine's actually lethal to humans.
Just to make up for all the Mac/Evan implications, here's a nice shot where it's all about the femmeslash.
Ken Leeds is apparently something of a knife-throwing badass, because he embeds that screwdriver in the wall like it was nothing, and now he's kind of got that Benton Fraser thing going, except that so far, the only person who's pronounced his title, (Lieutenant, correctly pronounced left-tenant) is Mac. Who's British, and has not been corrupted by the Americans.
Well, okay, as part of la francophonie, Canadians realise even better than Americans just how irrational pronouncing lieutenant as leftenant is. But it's still the correct pronounciation, damnit.
As Dylan has been allowed out by the remaining grow-op guy, so long as he gets to keep Toby hostage against good behaviour, she finds the terror bird trying to get at Evan et al, and calls them to tell them her plan does not involve shooting the thing while it's distracted, because heavens forfend she should have a practical plan. While she's off planning, the bird somehow figures out the concept of windows. Then it rams its head sideways onto the broken glass and somehow doesn't start bleeding. I don't know.
We don't know why Toby speaks Cantonese, she just does. I bet the actress does and they decided to put it in as a human interest, broadening the character thing, as she speaks to Leggy in Chinese dialect. The guy she's trapped with flips out and makes a run for it, and thus, on the right, gets eaten. Are we surprised?
Evan is leaning on Ken because of his leg injury. On the right, Mac is leaning on Ken because of . . . um . . . I think the screwdriver throwing bit may have got him a little hot under the collar. It was kind of hot. I mean, for a Canadian geek armed forces officer.
They split up. Mac, Dylan and Evan to get the giant turkey so high it won't know the difference between Luke Skywalker and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Mac is clearly not as badass as he thought he was, because . . . well, no. They're in Vancouver. Please. It's Canada's answer to brownies in Amsterdam. Nonetheless, he's surprised by Evan and Dylan's easy understanding about the best ways to get high off pot.
Toby and Ken share a Moment. Their first anomaly. Together. You never forget your first time, do you?
This, with the pot smoke, not so uncommon in the area. Really, probably the best camo they could have come up with. Mac, unused to casual drug use, comes out of it with the munchies. He seems to be enjoying it.
Ken and Evan have reached a truce, and Ange looks on, dreams of government contracts and threesomes dancing in her head. There may also be sugarplums. What? A girl's got a right to her own kinks, right?
For some reason, Ken's stolen the baby terror bird. I can only hope he wants to pet and squeeze it and call it George.
Well, not George. 'Cause that's rabbits. Or rabbits get caused by George. Or . . . I'll stop while I'm not too far behind.
In conclusion . . .
Danny! Danny? Where's Danny!
Go on to Episode 5
Back to Primeval Archive
I begin this with a spoiler of sorts. That spoiler is . . .
Danny! Where's Danny!?
So, to start, Space, Canada's answer to the Norwegian STD (didn't you know? Apparently syfy is some sort of Scandinavian word for an STD) is running this ten second spot every chance it gets, during which it tells you to visit the website and download dinosaur special effects, so that people can make third rate YouTube videos with professional grade dinosaurs in them. Oh well, it's a nice publicity shot, isn't it?
Next to that is creature vision cam, because as we all know, all animals see things as slightly blurry and warped versions of themselves with dim, weird colouration. You know, like birds . . . which actually see in a more intense and varied spectrum than we do . . . or snakes, which partially see by smell, which must add a lot more information . . . nevermind. Rule one, don't bring the science into it.
Then it goes through the anomaly and continues to see everything funny. Because that's just how animals see. Okay, I'm done complaining about that now. On to the two guys running a grow-op out of an old train in an abandoned CP Rail Yard. Or CN Rail, or whatever. Abandoned place with lots of trains. They load up the guy on the motorcycle with a lot of pot, and off he goes.
We see our two drug runners, one of whom forgot his gun in the bathroom. Hearing a strange noise (and discovering the No Name Brand Cheetos are missing) they boldly investigate, armed with one gun and one wooden plank. Apparently, the one with the hood has immunity to all dangers from having been a bouncer, and thus is totally cool with being armed with nothing but a plank. His partner is dubious, but lets him go first.
A deeply caring man, that.
That was sarcasm, you may have missed it. It's hard being sarcastic in writing sometimes. Anyhow, they find the most adorable little sharp-beaked baby bird eating the No Name Cheetos. Like a baby raptor, it may be one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Well, actually, not like a baby raptor, because it's a partially grown juvenile, not like one of those newborn chicks that birds of prey put out . . . my noting that people call birds of prey raptors was just totally lost on you all, wasn't it? 'Cause those are just ugly until the down kicks in.
Now is when we get to see the presumed mama of the baby bird, running at about 80 kph, because rural highways like that have speed limits of about seventy to a hundred. I shall suspend my side-eyeing of the speed, and the notion that something would move at those speeds that was seeing everything in blurry near-black and white.
Okay, it snuck up on me about the creature cam. Come on, it was right there.
Yep. Definitely a staple, the time lapse photography of Vancouver. Just in case we all forgot what a scenic city it is when it's not raining.
Toby is unhappy she has yet to risk getting her face eaten off by a prehistoric monster. I guess she doesn't watch movies. Or read books. Or much of anything, because since when does this seem like a good idea if you can get away with not risking the face eating?
Apparently Matt's penchant for super-powered electrical devices has flown across the pond, because Dylan produces wildlife tasers. Toby duly mocks them, then shuts up because it's pointed out they're designed to put down a charging rhino.
Toby's alarm then goes off, telling them that the centrally placed Mac (product placement! Buy Apple, it's what the real science geeks use) has found an anomaly opening up. After much whining and puppydog eyes, Toby has managed to bring Evan around to her way of thinking. She has just as much right as everyone else to wander into life-threatening situations unprepared.
Meanwhile, to make up today's gratuitous Shots For Straight Men, Ange strides into the office in a tiny little skirt, high heels, and with the camera following her legs long past any reasonable reason to do so, save titillation. She does have nice legs, though, doesn't she?
"Evan, you're running a business, or at least you're supposed to be. If you keep this up, you'll have to fire people, close down plants and lose contracts and business. Also, look at my pleading eyes and attractive face with Cindy Crawford-remeniscent mole and tell me you don't want to do me. Hey! Wait! What's she got that I don't? Evan! I love you!"
The two grow-op guys are now hanging out with the baby terror bird in a scene that is slightly remeniscent of Tom and Duncan and the dodo. Luckily, Leggy the Titannis does not have the Prehistoric Goa'uld Parasite of Doom inside him.
Instead, he does not take kindly to being taunted with KFC and tries to bite their fingers off. After the one in green freaks out that he nearly lost a finger, the laid-back dude stuffs the poor birdy into a box.
Dylan and Evan share a moment of deep regard, as evidenced by them pretending they're not about to have a quickie in the woods, despite blatant chemistry-building and being close enough to start up a drinking game based on how many times they almost kiss then don't.
They find the grow-op, get captured by the two schmucks running it and desperately try to convince the two men that they're not going to call the cops the moment they get out of there. Well, actually, based on stuff later on in the episode, Evan might well have considered taking the thing over and running a nice little sideline for himself.
Mac and Toby snipe at each other, as they are clearly supposed to be filling a certain quota of sexual tension as well, Toby expressing aggravation over the fact that she may have implied that Mac is sexy, Mac gleefully enjoying the idea. At least until . . .
The terror bird flings itself at the car, nearly kills them both via nearly causing a wreck, and Toby has the chance to play Brave Little Not-Soldier, a role usually handed to geeks too irrational to go home when they should. So, despite freaking out over a dead body, not knowing how to handle a gun if the look on her face is anything to go by and generally being unprepared, Toby goes with Mac on the rescue mission.
Ange's boss and erstwhile boyfriend sucks, and sucks to the point that she flips out and has a hissy fit in the office. I'd have been more sympathetic if she'd actually raged instead of jamming the shredder with a folder. Still, Evan's being an irresponsible moron, and she really should find a different job.
Evan and Dylan continue to try to convince the two men that they're there to look for wild exotic animals.
They should have said they had a train fetish and were hoping to have wild sex on the tracks, but I suppose that would be too much. I mean, for TV, not for Denial.
Lieutenant Ken Leeds shows up, consulting with Ange about how to get a meeting with Evan when Evan keeps avoiding him. Ange suggests ambushing the man in the halls, and plans to give Leeds a visitor's pass to get around Cross Photonics without trouble. Then he gives her earnest looks and so I took a cap for the Ken fans out there, because he's being all serious and intense about things, and we can cheerfully expect that Ange will take advantage of the man in uniform being about so that she can have wild monkey sex in her office with him. Right?
Right.
Upon seeing Leggy, who gets more adorable every time I see him, Evan is sent out, by himself, with no weapons, to track down and capture Leggy's mom. Well, at least this time he has the excuse of pot-growers with guns keeping him from his own taser, right?
My best cap of the terror bird is here, so here it is, stalking Evan. Who picks up a piece of flimsy-looking rebar. Mac is both concerned for and annoyed with Toby, because it's really hard for him to watch Evan's back(side) when he has to do the same for Toby. Neither of them, aware as they are there is a giant scary bird of doom out there, get back into the hummer, because having some protection from the killer critter would make sense.
The pot guys get into a fight, and it's revealed that the guy in green is the man in charge, and they fight over whether or not to kill Dylan, whether or not to flee the scene, who's really in charge, and Dylan wonders when her exciting career of chasing dinosaurs became playing Dear Abby to two potheads.
Evan still has his rebar.
Mac can't take it anymore and abandons Toby, because he has to find Evan right now, because Evan is the most important person in his life, dammit, and he can't live without him, and what do you expect him to do with all that lube he's stocked up at his apartment?
Evan still has his rebar.
The terror bird chases him, then chases him and Ken, who showed up looking like a Canadian army reject in his Afghanistan-issue camo, then they both get chased, then Mac shows up and flips out because Evan nearly died. He shoots the terror bird a bazillion times, thus ODing the poor thing and killing it via ketamine, and it's all very sweet how much he loves Evan. Then the three of them get chased, because there were two adult birds, not just one, Evan gets bit on the leg, and we see Ken, kneeling in front of Evan as he binds the wound on the upper thigh.
Evan is, of course, in pain.
From the bite.
Mac would like some attention over here, thanks. Evan can just stop looking down at where Ken's busy with his upper thighs. And stuff.
Toby has a chance to look kind of badass when she walks in on the continuing argument between the two grow-op guys, then shoots the nicer one with a tranq. In the ass. It's perhaps the best shot in the ass moment I've ever seen on tv. So, I have low standards, so sue me.
The poor man passes out, with his eyes open, which is extrememly creepy and made me wonder if that dose of ketamine's actually lethal to humans.
Just to make up for all the Mac/Evan implications, here's a nice shot where it's all about the femmeslash.
Ken Leeds is apparently something of a knife-throwing badass, because he embeds that screwdriver in the wall like it was nothing, and now he's kind of got that Benton Fraser thing going, except that so far, the only person who's pronounced his title, (Lieutenant, correctly pronounced left-tenant) is Mac. Who's British, and has not been corrupted by the Americans.
Well, okay, as part of la francophonie, Canadians realise even better than Americans just how irrational pronouncing lieutenant as leftenant is. But it's still the correct pronounciation, damnit.
As Dylan has been allowed out by the remaining grow-op guy, so long as he gets to keep Toby hostage against good behaviour, she finds the terror bird trying to get at Evan et al, and calls them to tell them her plan does not involve shooting the thing while it's distracted, because heavens forfend she should have a practical plan. While she's off planning, the bird somehow figures out the concept of windows. Then it rams its head sideways onto the broken glass and somehow doesn't start bleeding. I don't know.
We don't know why Toby speaks Cantonese, she just does. I bet the actress does and they decided to put it in as a human interest, broadening the character thing, as she speaks to Leggy in Chinese dialect. The guy she's trapped with flips out and makes a run for it, and thus, on the right, gets eaten. Are we surprised?
Evan is leaning on Ken because of his leg injury. On the right, Mac is leaning on Ken because of . . . um . . . I think the screwdriver throwing bit may have got him a little hot under the collar. It was kind of hot. I mean, for a Canadian geek armed forces officer.
They split up. Mac, Dylan and Evan to get the giant turkey so high it won't know the difference between Luke Skywalker and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Mac is clearly not as badass as he thought he was, because . . . well, no. They're in Vancouver. Please. It's Canada's answer to brownies in Amsterdam. Nonetheless, he's surprised by Evan and Dylan's easy understanding about the best ways to get high off pot.
Toby and Ken share a Moment. Their first anomaly. Together. You never forget your first time, do you?
This, with the pot smoke, not so uncommon in the area. Really, probably the best camo they could have come up with. Mac, unused to casual drug use, comes out of it with the munchies. He seems to be enjoying it.
Ken and Evan have reached a truce, and Ange looks on, dreams of government contracts and threesomes dancing in her head. There may also be sugarplums. What? A girl's got a right to her own kinks, right?
For some reason, Ken's stolen the baby terror bird. I can only hope he wants to pet and squeeze it and call it George.
Well, not George. 'Cause that's rabbits. Or rabbits get caused by George. Or . . . I'll stop while I'm not too far behind.
In conclusion . . .
Danny! Danny? Where's Danny!
Go on to Episode 5
Back to Primeval Archive