Why I don't really like the "nice guy"

[sealwhiskers]

A long time ago I dated a truly gorgeous guy. No really, he was like a young Greek god with a tall lean and muscular swimmers' body, a firm jaw, white teeth, thick brown hair, smooth tanned skin and kind green eyes with long lashes and a humorous twinkle in them. He even had frigging dimples

Comments

[carrieb]

Really great post. I've never thought about it in those terms because I haven't really had a reason to analyze that type of person, but you are spot on. I've known a few guys exactly like that.

[sealwhiskers]

Yeah, sadly these guys aren't entirely uncommon, it's a form of narcissism which is culturally enabled in certain settings. (and they often work in vastly male dominated fields)

[striver]

Really interesting

[sealwhiskers]

Yes, and the "nice guy" is often neither personable/friendly nor genuinely nice and helpful, he barely sets any standards for himself (other than not raping or killing, but that might have just as much to do with the reluctance to risk-taking, than with genuine ethics)

You totally nailed a "nice guy" on SL in your description here. The Internet as a whole has really made this type of pathology extra recognizable.

[idemandjustice]

This is a really great post. You highlighted a lot of things I find to be so incredibly true. I remember one night hanging out at Rachael's years ago, and Aaron started one of those "nice guy" rants about women dating assholes. I was trying not to explode at him. Um, he's not on livejournal, right?

Are you familiar with heartlessbitches.com? I think you'd get a kick out of it.

[sealwhiskers]

Ah, I remember Aaron, now that you mentioned him, lordy...

That site is great, hahaha, saved it among my favorites.

Since you're going to use the terms of the "rules"

[elenuial]

Being an alpha is just a behavior, and anyone can do it. They really can. It takes some time being focused on personal appearance and learning to project yourself as a confident human being in all situations. And many many (but not all) women do truly become attracted to men who exhibit alpha behaviors. But just because most men who act as alphas devalue and disrespect and objectify and dehumanize women does not mean it's part of the behavior set. It's correlated, but a person (including women) can act as an alpha and still be a decent, kind, gentle--dare I say, nice--human being

Re: Since you're going to use the terms of the "rules"

[elenuial]

Then I hope you can help your kids to not turn into nice guys! ^_^

(Also, I am glad you are happy. Really!)

[ex_maehymn]

HAHA WOW!!!!!
You totally NAILED that profile. I mean, I have met THAT GUY, but the detail with which you have drawn this portrait is stunning and fantastic.

Claudia Shiffer = not dating him = women not dating nice guys.
SO TRUE!! omg. LOVE this.

[sealwhiskers]

;) The analysis of this pathology was long overdue, I've been meaning to write this post for almost 4 years now...