S3 2015: The Reason (It Has To Be You) (3/4)
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Howon stood in his boss’s office quietly. He’d been summoned again, after nearly 2 weeks of pure administrative work, writing reports and analysing data. Some nurses and doctors had been outraged on his behalf, but he’d simply smiled and asked them to let it go. Besides, it had been a nice reprieve from constantly feeling like he was being watched and observed when he went on duty, afraid that there were cameras ready to capture his mistakes.
“So,” Dr. Han said briskly. “It seems like your scandal has blown over.”
Howon resisted the urge to point out that it wasn’t his scandal and nodded.
“I personally think it’s a little too early, but the management have decided to put you back on duty. Something about not having enough doctors on call and not being able to justify this favoritism.” He scoffed.
’It’s not favoritism if I’m being denied what I’m supposed to do as a doctor,’ Howon thought, but he kept quiet.
“For your own good, though, you should stay away from him. That Nam Woohyun guy. If he comes to the emergency room for treatment, get another doctor to treat him. Got it?”
Howon nodded. “I’ll make sure to stay away from him at work,” he said calmly. “Is there anything else, sir?”
His boss eyed him, but eventually shook his head.
Howon left the office, breathing a sigh of relief.
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Unfortunately for Woohyun, even though their scandal had pretty much disappeared from public scrutiny, Howon was still unavailable for him to pursue.
“Why can’t you meet me tonight?” Woohyun asked over the phone, sounding disappointed.
“I told you, I have to work,” Howon explained.
“But you said that yesterday night!” Woohyun complained.
“I work shifts, Woohyun. It’s the Accident & Emergency department; we’re open round the clock, seven days a week. I’m on night shift today, same as yesterday’s.”
“But that’s unfair.”
“Well, I was free in the afternoon, but you weren’t,” Howon pointed out.
“I had training!” Howon could practically see Woohyun pouting and whining into his phone, face scrunched up unhappily.
“So I’m not the only one who’s busy - you are too,” Howon said.
“Send me your schedule for the month,” Woohyun said. “I’ll work something out.”
Howon reluctantly did, but they ended up fighting again.
“Look, I’m not going to meet you after a nine-hour shift at 6 am in the morning,” Howon pressed his hand to his forehead and resisted the urge to yell at Woohyun. “I’m appreciative that you’re trying to accommodate my schedule, but I need to rest and so do you.”
“I could come over to your house and cook for you,” Woohyun offered.
“And if Joonhee wakes up and looks for you in the middle of the night?” Howon shot back. “Besides, I don’t think we’re that close yet, Woohyun-sshi.”
Silence. Howon wondered if he’d been a little too harsh. He sighed. “I guess we could go for an early breakfast,” he said. “Before I go home and you go to work.”
“Sure!” Woohyun immediately perked up, sounding happy.
“But I’ll probably be very tired and won’t be much company,” Howon warned him.
“It’s ok, I just want to see you,” Woohyun said. “I miss you. I can’t believe I went so long without seeing you face to face.”
“Sure,” Howon said dryly, ignoring his drivel. “See you. Don’t drive to the hospital car park - I’ll meet you at the nearby train station.”
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“Morning!” Howon said, a little too cheerfully for the early hour. He slid into the passenger seat of Woohyun’s car, shutting the door.
Woohyun grumbled as he drove the car. “Aren’t you tired?” he asked. “You just worked a full 9-hour shift and usually you’re difficult to wake up in the mornings.”
Howon hummed. “I just drank a cup of coffee,” he said. “And I still have difficulty getting up in the morning - but I didn’t go to bed at all, so I guess that’s your answer.” He looked over at Woohyun. “What about you? You look wrecked.”
“I didn’t sleep well,” Woohyun muttered.
“Why, were you busy thinking about what to wear today?” Howon teased him.
“No, Joonhee woke up crying in the middle of the night for his mother,” Woohyun replied, and Howon sobered immediately. “I spent most of the night walking up and down with him until he calmed down.”
“Then, where is he now?” Howon asked. “You left him at home alone?”
Woohyun quirked an eyebrow at Howon. “You think that badly of me?” he teased. “No, of course not. My mother stayed over last night, so she’s watching him now. He didn’t sleep until 4 am, so he’ll probably sleep for another 8 hours or so.”
“I...I see.” Howon bit his lip. “You should have stayed home to rest too,” he said. “We can have breakfast another time.”
“But I wanted to see you,” Woohyun said simply. “I have to get up anyway, for morning training. Seeing you gives me strength.”
Howon wrinkled his nose at the cheesy line. “Fine. Don’t regret it. Where are we going?”
They ended up at the same cafe that they’d been to previously with Joonhee. The cafe was already open, and there were a few people getting coffee and bread before trudging off to work.
“I didn’t know this place opened so early,” Howon commented.
Woohyun smiled secretively but didn’t say a word, opening the door for Howon. They sat down in the same hideaway corner, ordering coffee and breakfast sets.
“You’re hiding something,” Howon accused.
Woohyun looked surprised. “What?” he said innocently.
“I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it,” Howon said emphatically. “Spill.”
“Well, usually the cafe isn’t open so early,” Woohyun began. “It opened early because I rang the manager and asked them to open early today.”
Howon blinked. “You know the manager?”
“I own the cafe,” Woohyun said, grinning. “There, that’s what I was hiding.”
“Oh.” For some reason, Howon felt a little disappointed that Woohyun’s secret wasn’t something else. He changed the subject, not wanting to dwell on why he felt disappointed. “How’s Joonhee? Is he still going for therapy?”
“Yes.” The coffee arrived, and Woohyun stirred in sugar and milk before taking a sip. “He’s as alright as a three year old kid who’s lost his mom can be, I guess.” He sighed. “It breaks my heart to see him trying to be so strong for me.”
“You miss her too?” Howon asked softly.
The waiter chose that moment to arrive with their food, effectively halting whatever reply Woohyun was going to make.
“Scrambled eggs for you,” the waiter said to Howon, “and poached eggs for you, sir. Thank you.”
They nodded at him. “Thanks.”
After the waiter left, Howon started eating, not bringing up the topic of their earlier conversation. For some reason, he didn’t want to hear Woohyun’s reply, fearing it would confuse him further.
“I miss her,” Woohyun finally said, and Howon felt his heart drop at the admission.
“I...see,” Howon said in reply, unsure what else he could say to that.
“I miss her, but because I regret not having proper closure with her before she left,” Woohyun continued. “When we married, it was purely because she was pregnant with Joonhee. There wasn’t much of a relationship between us, and even after marriage, we barely talked.” He poked at one of his poached eggs, breaking the yolk and letting the yellow liquid flow all over his bread. “I spent all my time training and competing.”
“So, when you were winning all your Grand Slams…” Howon trailed off.
Woohyun nodded. “My marriage was going to hell,” he finished the sentence. “I knew it, but I deliberately avoided talking to her. I guess I didn’t want to face it, face the fact that I’d screwed up another relationship. But then, I lost the chance to talk to her completely.”
“I’m sorry,” Howon said quietly. “It must have been tough for you.”
“It was hard on her too,” Woohyun said. “And I don’t know what I can do anymore - I know I can’t apologize to her directly, but I wish I could do something to remember her by.”
Howon toyed with his scrambled eggs. “You’re trying your best with Joonhee,” he said. “I’m sure she’d be happy about that.”
Woohyun smiled wanly. “I suppose. But I want to do something more for her.”
“Is her family still mad at you?” Howon asked tentatively.
Woohyun shrugged. “They’ve asked to have Joonhee visit at least once a month. Every time I drop him off, I make sure to apologize, although they ignore me. It’s better than the curse words they hurled at me during the funeral, though.”
Howon impulsively reached out to touch Woohyun’s hand. “Hang in there,” he said earnestly. “Things will get better. They’re probably hurting and upset right now. After they grieve and get over their anger, they’ll be able to recognize that you’re trying your best for Joonhee.”
Woohyun looked surprised at Howon’s sudden gesture, making Howon squirm and regret his action. Before Howon could pull his hand back, Woohyun turned his wrist and clasped Howon’s hand in return.
“Thank you,” he said, smiling at Howon. Howon’s eyes widened and he ducked his head to hide his blush.
“The tips of your ears are red, you know,” Woohyun commented, and Howon could hear the laughter in his voice.
“Shut up,” he muttered, yanking his hand from Woohyun’s.
After breakfast, Woohyun drove Howon to the nearby train station.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to send you home?” Woohyun asked, worried. “What if you faint on the way home?”
“Yes,” Howon said firmly, unbuckling his seatbelt. “And I’m perfectly fine. Worry about yourself a little more. Your dark circles are going to be larger than your eyes soon.”
Woohyun smiled.
Howon sighed, deciding not to comment on how silly Woohyun looked grinning like a dork and got out of the car.
“Your ears are still red!” was the last thing he heard from Woohyun before the car rolled off.
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“He said that? Puahahahaha!”
“Dongwoo-hyung, you’re too loud,” Howon whispered urgently, trying not to look around at the stares directed in their direction.
Sunggyu calmly took a napkin and slapped it over Dongwoo’s mouth, muffling his laughter. “There.”
“Hyung, now you look like a weirdo!” Howon resisted the urge to walk out of the restaurant. Dongwoo was thrashing against Sunggyu’s hand, and nearly knocked the water jug on their table over. “Stop it!”
“Ok, ok.” Dongwoo calmed down, holding his stomach, and Sunggyu let go of him. “Ouch.”
“Are you sure you should be meeting Woohyun, though?” Sunggyu asked. “What if you two get caught?”
“Caught by whom?” Howon asked.
“You know, the paparazzi.” Dongwoo made camera snapping motions with his fingers. “And then you’ll be all over the news again!”
“We’re not newsworthy,” Howon said firmly. “Anyway, Woohyun hired a PR firm to take care of such things.”
Sunggyu eyed him dubiously, but said nothing.
“Woohyun’s still in the news, though,” Dongwoo said. “Seouldae’s tennis team got a lot better after he started coaching them.” He grinned. “Almost as good as we used to be.” He sighed blissfully. “Woohyun invited me to visit anytime I wanted to, to help out. Too bad I have to prepare my students for their upcoming dance competition, or I’d definitely go visit. Tweak their training menus a little.” He cracked his knuckles and licked his lips.
Howon shuddered as he thought of Dongwoo’s weird training style, which was hellish but strangely effective. “You still keep in touch with Woohyun too?” He knew Sunggyu did, but he didn’t know Woohyun and Dongwoo still communicated.
Dongwoo looked at Howon strangely. “Of course. He’s part of the Seouldae Tennis Family,” he said, emphasizing each word. “Even when he was busy competing, he still found time to reply to my messages. He was better about it than you!” He pointed a finger at Howon. “Mr I-have-an-emergency-no-phones-allowed Dr Lee Howon.”
“But hyung, you know where I work,” Howon complained. “I don’t get to skive during work.”
“And I also know that 75% of your emergency cases aren’t really emergencies,” Dongwoo said sweetly. “Of course it’s important to work hard and save lives, but you need to live a little.”
“Hyung,” Howon complained, looking to Sunggyu for help, but Sunggyu merely shook his head.
“Dongwoo is right, you know,” Sunggyu said. “Most people don’t stay in A&E for long because the shift schedule is killer and the workload is crazy. Either you’re dealing with a bunch of hypochondriacs or you get a whole load of critical patients all at once. Aren’t you due for a sabbatical?”
Howon set his jaw stubbornly. “I can handle it. I like the stress.”
Dongwoo shook his head. “You like it, but I’m pretty sure your boyfriend won’t.”
“I don’t have one,” Howon said.
“Exactly!” Dongwoo punched the air. “Exactly my point! No life, no boyfriend.”
“I dated before, hyung,” Howon pointed out. “And they knew I was an A&E doctor.”
“Uh-huh, and where are they now? They’ve vanished!” Dongwoo made starbursts with his hands. “Ka-poof.”
“Talking to you is harder than talking to Joonhee,” Howon complained. “Sunggyu-hyung, make him go away.”
“Joonhee? Woohyun’s kid? That kid is so adorable. He’ll grow up to be a heartbreaker just like his dad.” Dongwoo sighed.
“So, is Woohyun chasing you?” Sunggyu asked bluntly, and Howon nearly spat out his soju.
“Sunggyu-hyung!” he protested, coughing and grabbing a tissue to wipe his mouth with.
“Mm, using the adorable kid to snag the cutie doctor,” Dongwoo said thoughtfully. “Good strategy.”
“Dongwoo-hyung!” Howon buried his face in his hands.
“It’s obvious, you know,” Sunggyu said practically. “Maybe not to the average person, but we’ve seen the two of you dance circles around each other before dating.”
Dongwoo nodded. “Your dance patterns are a little different this time round, but they’re pretty much the same. Woohyun annoys Howon. Howon gets mad. Woohyun acts cute. Howon gets madder. Woohyun kisses Howon. Howon...kisses back?” He made kissing noises.
“Shut up,” Howon hissed. “It’s not like that at all. That’s what kids in kindergarten do.”
“Well, you used to tell me Woohyun never graduated from kindergarten, so I don’t quite see your point,” Sunggyu said dryly.
Howon sighed. “We’re not dating. He’s just doing whatever he wants.”
“And you? Why are you meeting him, if you’re not interested in him?” Sunggyu asked.
“Because he’s a good friend? Well, he was one, and I don’t mind keeping up the friendship if he wants to,” Howon replied.
Dongwoo snorted. “Lies. You two were never really friends. You went from bickering tennis doubles partners to bickering dating couple like ZOOOOM!” He mimicked a plane taking off with his hands, nearly toppling the soju bottle.
“If you’re not interested in him, why haven’t you told him?” Sunggyu asked, catching the bottle reflexively and slapping Dongwoo’s hands.
“Because he insists I’m lying,” Howon replied. They’d gone out a few more times since their breakfast date, mostly for meals and once, a movie (although Howon had fallen asleep halfway through). Even though Howon insisted firmly to a bemused Woohyun that these weren’t dates, Woohyun always ignored him.
“Howon-ah, even though you claim you’ve lost contact with Woohyun, it seems like he still knows you pretty well,” Dongwoo remarked.
“What do you mean?” Howon asked, peeved.
“Well, your tongue has always been sharp enough to cut diamond,” Dongwoo said. “But your heart’s always been softer than tofu. And obviously Woohyun still remembers that. Mm, I want soondubu stew.” He pressed the table buzzer and hollered his order to the waitress, who acknowledged him with a wave of her hand.
Howon looked down. “I’ve said some really nasty things to him,” he admitted. He pretended it didn’t affect him, but whenever he laid in bed and tried to sleep, the cutting, harsh words he’d said to Woohyun came back to haunt him.
“He needed to hear some of those words,” Sunggyu said. “But he’s been trying very hard to change parts of himself for the better. I don’t think he’s doing it simply to date you - most of it’s for Joonhee, I think. But doesn’t his change move you at all?”
“What about you, hyung?” Howon shot back. “Doesn’t it impress you?”
“It does, but I’m not the one denying that I’m in love with Nam Woohyun,” Sunggyu said calmly. “Plus I’m happily married, in case you forgot.”
Dongwoo sniggered. “Don’t look at me either. I’m loud and proud about my love for Lee Yejin.” He sighed. “Now I just need to earn enough to put a ring on her finger.”
Howon pouted. “Why is this all about me again?” he complained. “What about you two?” Then he had a nasty thought. “Did Woohyun put you two up to this?”
Dongwoo and Sunggyu exchanged glances. “No, he didn’t,” Sunggyu said. “But his eyes glow whenever he talks about you.”
“Glow…?” Howon said uncertainly.
Dongwoo nodded. “You weren’t at his wedding, so you wouldn’t know, but even at his wedding, when he looked all happy and stuff, he never glowed. But now even when he’s just talking about you verbally beating him up he’s smiling and radiant.”
“It’s almost vomit-inducing,” Sunggyu commented, nodding.
“So you should just put him out of his misery and date him,” Dongwoo said, satisfied. “Then both of you can glow together. Case closed, and they all lived happily ever after. The end. Applause, please.” He clapped for himself proudly.
Howon bit his lip. “It’s not that simple,” he said softly. “There’re so many challenges in the way. There’s Joonhee, and his late wife, and the public, and my job…”
“And so?” Sunggyu countered. “There’ll always be challenges. It’s just how you choose to handle them. Whether you choose to fight or flee.”
Dongwoo nodded. “When you were competing with Woohyun in doubles, you two faced many strong competitors - remember that crazy switcheroo pair from Japan - but you never backed down from the fight. You never gave up just because the challenge was difficult. And you won. So why can’t you do the same now?”
“But that’s just a tennis competition,” argued Howon.
“So if you can fight so hard to win a measly tennis competition,” said Dongwoo, “shouldn’t you do the same for your life?”
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Ring ring, ring ring ring.
“Hello?”
Howon held the phone loosely, slumped in his office chair.
“Howon?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” Howon said tiredly. “Can we postpone our dinner?”
“Why?”
“I...I’m…” Howon tried to grip the phone tighter, but he didn’t feel like he had the strength to.
“Rough shift?”
“...yeah.”
“I’ll come pick you up. I’ll go to the staff basement car park, ok?”
“But. I’m really tired.”
“Car accident?”
“Yes. Family of 4.”
“All the more you need someone to take care of you, Howon-ah. Someone needs to heal the healer.”
Howon dug his fingernails into his palm, trying not to cry at the emotion his warm words elicited. “...’kay.”
“Give me ten minutes. And stay on the phone with me.”
“...”
“You don’t have to talk, just breathe a little louder so I know you’re still there.”
“Mm.”
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“You shouldn’t get out of the car - people might see,” Howon complained even as he accepted Woohyun’s help in getting into the car.
Woohyun shielded Howon’s head from knocking into the car door frame. “And let you knock a giant hole in your head? That wouldn’t be gentlemanly at all. Plus it’d be a pain to get blood out of my leather car seats.”
Howon refused to reply, sinking into the plush car seat and closing his eyes. Woohyun shut his door and ran back to his side, getting in and driving off.
“Where do you want to go?” asked Woohyun.
“Don’t know,” Howon murmured, an arm flung over his eyes. “But not home. Where’s Joonhee?”
“With his maternal grandparents for the weekend,” Woohyun said.
“That’s nice.”
“We could go to my place and I could cook?” Woohyun offered.
Howon lifted his arm to shoot Woohyun a glare. “I’m tired, not stupid. No. I'm sure there'll be fangirls or reporters loitering around.”
“Awww,” Woohyun grumbled. “Hm, I think I’ve got it.” He patted Howon’s thigh. “Sleep. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”
“You can’t kidnap me,” Howon felt compelled to point out through a giant yawn. “Sunggyu-hyung knows that I’m meeting you tonight. If I disappear, he'll call the police...”
“Yes, yes, now sleep.”
When Howon woke, the sun had set completely and they were in an open-air car park overlooking the Han River.
“Awake?” Woohyun turned to him, munching on fried chicken.
Howon blinked, seeing a giant box of fried chicken balanced on Woohyun’s lap. “You ordered delivery?”
“Yep,” Woohyun said cheerfully. “I got it delivered to my mother’s restaurant and then I swung by to pick it up, before heading here.”
Howon stretched a little. “If we eat in here, the smell’s going to linger and stick to your car seats,” he pointed out. “Let’s eat outside.”
“Sure. Grab the beer, it’s in the backseat.”
They found a quiet, dark bench to park themselves on, out of the way of joggers and cyclists. Howon fastidiously cleaned his hands with antiseptic wipes before tucking in.
“Feel better?” Woohyun asked after Howon had devoured five pieces of chicken without stopping.
“A little.” Howon opened a can of beer, drinking from it. “The food helps.”
“You didn’t eat lunch again, did you?” Woohyun said chidingly.
“No,” Howon said. “Couldn’t. Right when I was about to get something to eat, they got wheeled in.” He looked down.
“But if you’re ill with gastric, you won’t be able to help them either,” Woohyun said, concerned.
“But if I really went to eat instead of helping them, and they died, I’d wonder if things would have turned out differently. Every second counts.” Howon grabbed another piece of chicken, biting into it. “In the end, though, I still couldn’t help them. They were too critically injured. I lost one moments after arrival and one during surgery. I heard the other two people are still critical and unlikely to make it through the night.”
Woohyun put a hand on Howon’s shoulder, then pulled it away quickly. “S-Sorry,” he said hastily. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Howon smiled wistfully. “It’s part of the job, so it's not the first time and it won't be the last. I just wish I could save everyone.”
“It’s not your fault if they are too badly injured to be saved by medical skills,” Woohyun said.
“I know it isn’t,” Howon said. “But try telling that to their distraught relatives…” He trailed off, and Woohyun knew he was remembering the time when they’d met so tragically at the A&E.
“I’m sorry,” Woohyun said quietly. “I’ll say it as many times as you need me to - as a doctor, as a friend, as a person - you didn’t deserve the way I lashed out at you that day. I’m sorry.”
Howon nodded. “It’s alright. I’ve had worse things said about me, actually,” he said quietly. “So have my colleagues. Sometimes they apologize, sometimes they threaten to sue, sometimes they sue.” He shrugged. “I guess it’s part of the price for wanting this job.”
“Hey,” Woohyun said, worried at the way Howon’s thoughts had become dark. “That’s true, but don’t forget about the lives you save too. You’re needed.”
Howon took another gulp of beer. “I know that. But sometimes, I need to let myself wallow in angst for a little while.”
“Just for a little while, right?” Woohyun asked anxiously. “You’re not...suicidal or depressed, are you?”
Howon chuckled. “No, I’m pretty sure I’m not.” He smiled at Woohyun. “Thanks for hearing me out.”
Woohyun gazed back at Howon, looking a little dazed.
“What?” asked Howon. “Is there something on my face?”
“No, it’s just…your smile - I mean.” Woohyun shook his head. “I’m honoured that you would confide in me like this. Especially after...you know, everything that happened.”
“Well, we’ve been spending a lot of time together,” Howon said. “So I suppose we’ve gotten close again.”
Woohyun beamed, bright enough that Howon could see it even though the lighting was dim. Was this what Dongwoo was referring to, when he said Woohyun glowed around him?
“Then, in exchange,” Woohyun said, somehow managing to sound confident yet shy at the same time, “can I ask you a question?”
“I guess?” Howon said, confused. “Well, you can ask.”
“Are you still dating that Inguk guy?” Woohyun asked nervously.
Howon stared at him for a long moment.
“I mean, I know you said it was a personal question, and I don’t have the right to ask personal questions of you because we’re not friends, but…” Woohyun’s shoulders sank. “It still bugs me. Plus you keep saying we’re not dating, we’re just hanging out as friends so I always wonder if you’re dating someone else and that’s why you say that to me-”
Woohyun’s rant was cut off abruptly as Howon shoved a piece of fried chicken into his mouth. He flailed, half choking half chewing and finally managed to swallow. “Yah!” he gasped, coughing.
“Hah, and Dongwoo-hyung said you knew me well,” Howon muttered. “As if.”
“So - you’re still dating him?” Woohyun looked crushed.
“...no.” Howon resisted the urge to smack Woohyun. “If I were dating him, why would I spend so much time with you? Use your brain a little, please.”
“So - you’re not dating him?” Woohyun said eagerly.
“I was dating him,” Howon said, “but we broke up. Just before I met you again.”
“Oh.” Woohyun tried not to look too happy. “But - why?”
Howon shrugged. “He couldn’t handle the level of commitment I wanted,” he said, keeping his voice deceptively casual. “Something like that. I heard he’s dating a girl now.”
“Oh.” Woohyun frowned. “That sucks.”
“Well, I’m glad we broke up before things went too far,” Howon said lightly. “So it’s not that bad, I guess. We were only dating for about four months.”
“That’s true, since that means I get to sit here and eat chicken and drink beer with you.” Woohyun grinned.
Howon couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re easily satisfied, aren’t you?”
“Mm, for now,” Woohyun said. “For now.”
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“By the way, I won’t be in Seoul this weekend - I’m flying to Tokyo for a conference,” Howon said as they packed up and returned to the car. “So don’t message me, I won’t get it. And don’t call me or I’ll make you pay for the international charges.”
“Oh!” Woohyun said. “I’ll be in Tokyo too, from Thursday onwards. We’re having a training camp and practice matches with Seishun University. It’s until Saturday. When’s your conference until?”
“Sunday morning,” Howon said. “My flight’s in the late evening though, so I can do some sightseeing and shopping before that.”
Woohyun’s eyes gleamed. “I think I’ll extend my stay there.”
Howon rolled his eyes. “Do whatever you want.” He dumped the rubbish into the rubbish bin and walked off, away from Woohyun’s car.
“Hey, not that way! My car’s over there!” Woohyun ran after him.
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Even though Howon refused to give Woohyun any information about his conference, Woohyun still turned up at his hotel room on Saturday night with a sunny smile and his luggage.
“Can I come in?” he asked sweetly.
“No,” Howon said emphatically. “You’re rich enough to buy the whole hotel, go book your own room and stay away from me.”
“So mean,” Woohyun pouted. “I knew you’d say that, so I booked the room next to yours.”
“Is there no concept of privacy anymore?” Howon grumbled.
“Tomorrow, your conference finishes after lunch - I’ll meet you outside your hotel room at 2 pm! Wear something light!” Woohyun said bossily.
“I wanted to catch up on sleep…” Howon yawned.
“No! You’re in Tokyo and you want to sleep? Nope, I’m taking you somewhere.” Woohyun grinned.
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise~”
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“...just to make sure, Woohyun, you didn’t stash Joonhee in your bag or something, did you?”
“Mm, no, of course not. He’s back in Seoul with my parents. Probably being introduced to the joys of barbecued meat.”
“So why are we at Tokyo Disneyland?” Howon stared at the colourful stores lining Main Street.
Woohyun smiled at him mischievously. “To relive our childhood?” He tugged at Howon’s hand. “Come on!”
They dared each other to ride the rollercoasters without screaming (Woohyun lost), ride the It’s A Small World ride without cringing (Howon lost), lined up to meet Mickey Mouse and take photos with him and ate a ton of popcorn and other unhealthy snacks.
“I need to go soon, Woohyun,” Howon finally said. “I still need to go back to the train station and get my luggage, before transiting to the airport.”
“I have to go to the airport too. But first, one more ride.” Woohyun tugged him along, and Howon reluctantly followed, dragging his heels a little to make it difficult for Woohyun.
He completely dug his heels in, stunned, when he saw what ride Woohyun had in mind.
“...Dumbo?” Great big winged elephants soared out on long metal bars, arranged in a circle. Howon blinked. “You brought me to the flying elephant ride?”
“Yup!” Woohyun nodded. “Come on, let’s queue.”
“I’m not going to squeeze into a seat with you,” Howon shook his head. “We’d look ridiculous, squashed into one flying elephant.”
Woohyun tilted his head. “Would you rather take it yourself? I don’t mind, then I can take photos of you.”
Howon weighed his potential embarrassment at both situations and decided to choose the lesser evil. “Fine, we’ll take it together.”
They managed to squeeze themselves into an elephant seat and buckle up.
“Why this ride, though?” Howon asked as the ride started and Woohyun immediately prodded repeatedly at the button that would take their elephant high into the air.
Then he remembered a certain conversation they had years ago about elephants and riding a flying elephant in particular.
“You...You’re trying to fulfil my childhood dream? So the whole point of coming to Disneyland was to ride on Dumbo?” Howon looked at Woohyun’s dorky grin, and knew he was spot on.
“Uh-huh.” Woohyun nodded. “Did I succeed? Do you feel fulfilled?”
Howon looked away from Woohyun, fighting a smile. “You’re silly,” he said. It didn’t quite have the usual bite that his insults had, though, and Woohyun knew it.
They spent the rest of the ride in contented silence, Woohyun happily playing with the button to make their elephant soar up and down. Howon looked at him, smiled a little, and made his decision.
On the way back to the train station, Woohyun was fiddling with his phone, trying to get internet, when suddenly he got a call.
“Gyu-hyung?” Woohyun read off the phone screen. “Huh.” He picked up the call. “Hyung?”
“Is Howon with you?” Sunggyu asked urgently.
“Yeah, he is. We’re about to go to the airport,” Woohyun said, confused. “What’s up?”
“Don’t go - stay another night in Tokyo, and change your flight. Both of you.”
“Why, hyung?” Woohyun asked, anxious. “What happened?”
“Both of you are in the news again. The press have caught wind that you’re together in Tokyo, and they’re waiting at the airport.”
Howon had taken out his phone while Woohyun was on the phone with Sunggyu, and when Woohyun hung up, he found Howon staring at his phone, his face pale.
“Woohyun,” he said, voice shaky. He turned the phone screen so Woohyun could see the article. “There’s...they’ve...it’s everything.”
Woohyun grabbed the phone, browsing through the article. Reporters had been following them on nearly every single date they’d been on - the only one they’d missed was the meeting at Woohyun’s mother’s restaurant. They even had photos of their picnic dinner on the park bench at the Han River.
And as if the headlines weren’t bad enough - “WIDOWER NAM WOOHYUN ALREADY HOOKING UP WITH OLD FLAME SIX MONTHS AFTER HIS WIFE’S DEATH?!”, the nasty comments were starting to flood in.
Woohyun took a deep breath, turning off the phone screen. “Let’s - Let’s get our things and find a place to stay first,” he said.
.
.
.
They took a room in one of the Disney hotels, Howon booking the room and both of them separately taking the lift to the room.
When they were both safely inside, Woohyun locked and bolted the door, before collapsing on one of the beds. “What a mess,” he groaned. He pulled out his phone. “I need to tell my mother I’m not going back tonight, and then call my PR firm and demand a refund.” He glanced over at Howon, trying to gauge his reaction to the lame joke.
Howon sat on the other bed, silently staring at his phone and reading his messages. Woohyun couldn’t tell how he felt about the whole fiasco, and it made him nervous. He cleared his throat. “Um, Howon…”
Howon’s phone buzzed and he swiped over the screen to pick up the call. “Hello?”
Whoever was on the other side was so loud that Woohyun could hear yelling coming from the phone. Howon winced and pulled the phone slightly away from his ear. “Yes, Dr. Han, I am aware of the situation.” He looked at Woohyun and mouthed ‘boss’. Woohyun cringed. He got off the bed and moved to the one Howon was sitting on, trying to offer moral support.
Howon continued to listen. “Yes, I’ve been meeting him,” he said quietly.
Woohyun mustered up his courage and took Howon’s free hand. Howon let him, distracted by the phone conversation.
“I’m in Tokyo with him right now. He was in Tokyo for a training camp and we had some time before our flight. I’m not working.”
The yelling got louder, and Woohyun rubbed his hand in sympathy.
“Stop seeing him? Why?” Howon’s voice was icy. “Bad publicity for our hospital? We provide medical care; we’re not an entertainment company.”
“Dr. Han, it’s my personal life, and has no bearing on my skills as a doctor,” Howon continued. He sounded calm, but Woohyun could tell that he was getting upset. He wondered if he should stop meeting Howon for a while, to take the heat off him.
Howon unconsciously straightened his back, looking absolutely furious. “I will not stop meeting him just because the management deems it prudent. Nor will I allow the hospital to issue a statement on my behalf denying the rumours.”
Woohyun feared the conversation was going somewhere dangerous, and he waved his hands in front of Howon’s face, trying to stop him or calm him down. But Howon batted his hands away and continued, voice steely.
“Because they’re not completely untrue, Dr. Han. I like Woohyun, and I do intend to date him.”
Woohyun froze, hands in the air.
“And if you’re not happy with that, I’ll be more than happy to tender my resignation once I return to Seoul. Good night, Dr. Han.” Howon hung up, huffing a sigh of frustration. He then looked over and realised Woohyun was in shock. “What is it?”
“You - like - date?” Woohyun spluttered. “Me?”
“Um, yeah.” Howon put a hand on the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. “I wanted to tell you properly, but all this happened, and my boss made me really upset. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you first-”
His eyes widened as Woohyun cupped his face in his hands, leaning in so their foreheads touched.
“Don’t be sorry,” he breathed out, sounding relieved and happy. “It’s ok.” He pulled back a little, gazing at Howon. His thumb brushed the corner of Howon’s lip.
Howon leaned in and kissed him, tilting himself forward as Woohyun’s hands slid from his face to wrap around his waist. He let himself melt into the warmth of Woohyun’s embrace and the softness of his lips against his. He knew he’d insisted that whatever they had in the past was dead and buried, but kissing Woohyun felt like coming home after a long time away, awkward and uncertain yet familiar and comforting all at once.
“Thank you,” Woohyun murmured against his lips, eyes luminous, and Howon knew he was going to cry. “I don’t deserve-”
Howon kissed him harder to shut him up; words could wait.
.
.
.
They leaned back against the headboard of the bed, seated side by side.
Woohyun shifted so his right side was pressed up against Howon’s left side, taking Howon’s left hand into his right hand. He’d finally gotten what he wanted, what he’d been chasing for so long, but now he didn’t know what to do. He had Howon’s love, but Howon had lost his privacy, might lose his job, and worse, his whole life might be turned upside down now.
Howon squeezed his hand. “I can hear you thinking from here,” he chided him. “Aren’t you even going to celebrate?”
“I’m - I’m really happy, of course, but - I feel guilty,” Woohyun confessed. “All those pictures from what were supposed to be private moments…”
“Yah, it’s not like you gave them permission to stalk us and take those photos,” Howon said. “Don’t blame yourself.”
Woohyun sighed. “This wouldn’t happen if I weren’t the former world no. 1,” he complained. “I’m sorry.”
Howon gave him a bewildered look, and then started laughing.
“What?” Woohyun asked. “What’s so funny?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone apologizing for being a world champion,” he snickered. “But I appreciate the thought.”
“It’s not funny,” Woohyun said, upset. “What about your job?”
Howon shrugged. “He can threaten me all he wants - I’m pretty tired of working there, anyway. I love the work, but this whole fiasco has just shown me how much they care about the hospital’s image rather than the actual care of their patients.”
“But if you quit, where will you work?” Woohyun asked anxiously. "And will they blacklist you?"
Howon shrugged. “I haven’t thought that far yet,” he said wryly.
Woohyun’s phone buzzed, and they tensed, afraid it was another phone call with bad news.
Fortunately, it was just Woohyun’s mother. “Mum,” Woohyun said, picking up the video call.
“Are you ok, Woohyun-ah?” she asked, sounding worried. “We’ve closed the restaurant because there are a bunch of reporters hanging around trying to get interviews with us. Your agency is sending a security team to escort us to your house to stay, since it’s more secure.”
“That’s good. I’m alright,” Woohyun replied, angling the phone so Howon came into view.
“Is that Howonnie?” she asked. “You two are really together, like the reporters said?”
“Well, we were hanging out at Disneyland, yes, but now - as of ten minutes ago - we’re dating,” Woohyun said, grinning foolishly. "We're hiding in in a hotel room in case there are any reporters lurking around."
“Hi, Mother,” Howon said bashfully.
Her gaze softened and she smiled lovingly. “I’m glad,” she said sincerely. “No wonder you look so happy.”
“Mum, is Joonhee there? I want to see him,” Woohyun said.
“Ah, yes.” She beckoned to someone off screen, and then Joonhee was clambering into her lap, eyes wide as he looked at Woohyun and Howon’s video images. “Daddy? Doctor?”
“Hi, Joonhee,” Howon waved.
“Joonhee, are you ok?” Woohyun asked.
Joonhee nodded. “But I miss Daddy,” he said, pouting. “You said you were coming home today.”
“I know, but I have to stay another night. I’ll be home tomorrow,” Woohyun coaxed him. “And I’ll bring Doctor - Uncle Howon to visit you.”
“Uncle Howon?” Joonhee tilted his head curiously. “Who’s that?”
“Uncle Howon.” Woohyun pointed to Howon. “Your favorite doctor.”
“But he’s Doctor,” Joonhee insisted.
“Uncle Howon,” Woohyun said stubbornly.
“Doctor!” Joonhee was just as stubborn.
“Woohyun, I don’t think you want to fight with your son over a video call,” Howon intervened. He smiled at Joonhee. “Joonhee, we’ll see you tomorrow, promise.”
“Why are you Uncle Howon? You’re Doctor,” Joonhee demanded imperiously.
“I think what your Daddy means is that I am a doctor, but I have a name, and we’re close, so you can call me Uncle,” Howon said carefully. “I’ll explain it all to you tomorrow, ok?”
Joonhee thought a while, then nodded. “Ok.” He waved. “Bye bye Daddy, bye bye Doctor.”
“Bye, Joonhee,” they said in unison.
Woohyun’s mother looked amused. “We’ll see you tomorrow at your house, Woohyun-ah. Take care of Howonnie, Woohyun.”
“And what about me?” he whined.
“You can take care of yourself,” she said mercilessly. “Bye, Howon-ah.”
“Bye, Mother,” Howon said.
Woohyun ended the call, sulking. “She always liked you better than me,” he complained.
Howon rolled his eyes and pecked Woohyun on the cheek. “But I like you better than her. Happy?”
Woohyun instantly broke into a silly grin, dropping the sulky pout. “Happy,” he agreed. Then he sobered. “Howon, what about your parents?”
“I texted them a while ago,” Howon said. “Before my boss called. I told them I’ll explain everything when I come back, and not to talk to any reporters. I think they’re quite safe though, in Busan.”
“If they need anything, let me know,” Woohyun said. “I don’t want them to be harassed because of this.”
“She didn’t say they were, just that she had read the news and was worried about us,” Howon said. “So I think they’re alright.”
“That’s good.” Woohyun stretched. “We probably should reschedule our flight.”
“Yeah, and order room service,” Howon said, hopping off the bed to search for the room service menu. “I’m hungry.”
Woohyun looked at Howon intently. “And after eating dinner?”
“Shower, and then sleep,” Howon said absently, flipping through the menu. “I’m tired.”
Woohyun flopped on the bed in despair. “I’m not.”
“I don’t know why you aren’t, considering how we ran all over Disneyland in an afternoon…” Howon trailed off, looking thoughtfully at Woohyun. “Ah.”
Woohyun looked up at him hopefully.
“No.” Howon shut the menu with a snap and tossed it to Woohyun.
Woohyun folded his arms and sulked.
“Yah, it’s our first day as a couple,” Howon said. “And we’ve already kissed and have to spend the night in the same room. Let’s take things a little slower.” He hummed. “And don’t even think about bringing up whatever we’ve done in the past. It’s called ‘the past’ for a reason.”
“I am so whipped,” Woohyun groaned.
“Glad you know that,” Howon said sweetly.
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