Well i finally graduated. i thought things would be better, but they arent. the two most important people in my life both want me to make a life with them. and i want to, but i dont see how they could ever get along with each other. i know that one of them would be willing to try, but i am not sure if the other would ( Read more... )

i am so terrified about going out this weekend. i have known the girl for a couple years, but i am not social. but i am really most afraid the my other friend wont meet us. i dont know what i will do if she wont. it would kill me for her to say no. i know that she will say no though. i want her to say yes, but since when has life ever gone right. ( Read more... )

ok i give up. life is hopeless. none of my friends even want to see me. no one reads my lj. i am alone. EVERY ONE has abandoned me. so i am dont. not like any one will ever know cause they dont care. i will just go through college, get a god job and then pay for my pitifull little grave site. then i will bury myself and end my misery.

I like just found out that the koi that i paid 10$ for is worth 500$ but the idiots that sold it to me didnt know his worth.

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ok i have always loved airplanes. it is a way to fly with out your own set of wings. my old avation teacher for hiram johnson gave me the frame and wings to a full size ultra light bi-plane. i love it so much. my dad offered to help me finish building it and get it flying. i thought maybe if we did some thing like that he would back off a little. ( Read more... )

ever feel like you just get life worked out then some one else hands you some thing else? i thought that heald would be the best track but now every one is suggesting job corp. i dont care where i go i just want to be with my best friend again(you know who you are. meow ( Read more... )

well my life is no longer boring. I have applied to Heald College for their Networking Security program. I am 99% guarenteed to be accepted. i am so excited. just the thought of college. i will be in and out in 18 months. and then i will be able to buy a house shortly after. the intery level for those jobs is around 45000 a year ( Read more... )

it is always some thing i swear. the latest thing for me is every one sayiny that i need to get a boy friend. even my skills trainer is trying to set me up on a blind date. half of me is screaming you have to be joking you insane people of the world. the other part is saying about time.

i feel so good. my dreams are so good. and my nights also. i never knew it could be so nice to just cuddle with some one not thinking about any thing else. just having them next to you. oh i love him so much.