We learn more and more every day. Recently, I’m learned a lot about me. I hate meeting new people. I avoid talking to, and even sitting next to people I don’t know because I’m terrified of putting myself out there and not being accepted. I tread lightly with the people that surround me now. I desperately don’t want to be abandoned by them so I ( Read more... )

Humankind is amazing. We've found cures for diseases, discovered (or started to) what’s beyond our universe, and made huge technological advances. We’re social beings, almost to the point where it’s a flaw. We strive to be accepted day in and day out. It’s kind of ridiculous what we do to be accepted. The problem with us started when we were ( Read more... )

The fact that Obama is President hasn't really sunken in. It's been a couple months and I still felt like it was surreal. Too good to be true. I wasn’t really into Obama before elections when all the hype started. I don’t follow politics because I, sadly, don’t really care. I wanted Obama to win because he was a Democrat. That’s it. Not his ( Read more... )

every feel like giving up? i think this is me quitting again...

so i promised a real update and here it is. and it's hard to start. rich left. he'll be back, but fuck it sucks. and it's the worst time for him (my best friend) to leave. cause this season always makes me depressed and i feel i've lost contact with all of my other good friends too. and it's a million different reasons. i never talk to or see ( Read more... )

i realized something tonight. i hate my life. completely, totally, hate my life. that's all for now. i'm working on an actual update to my life, but it's taking a while due to a lot of censoring that will need to be done.

so i think that there's this secret pact between my family that says that they have to make me cry whenever we go anywhere together. we're in seattle and it's the first of the vacation and i'm already real pissed. i hate flying as it is so i've been on edge. then benny was a fucking douche (surprise, surprise) about absolutely fucking nothing. i ( Read more... )

so i've been reading a lot lately and it makes me real sad. cause it's got a lot about love and shit. and i realized what i want, i want someone that knows me as well as i know myself, if not better. i want someone that knows that something's bothering me instantly. i want them to know what all of my facial expressions mean, i want them to know if ( Read more... )

do you ever feel like you made a bad decision? right now is the first time i've thought this about dropping out. and it's because of the reception i've had at home. it's like they don't even care. jake is the only one that's made me feel welcome again. and that's the fucked up part. jake is supposed to be the asshole. it's been different for a ( Read more... )

1. i fucking hate when people leave me messages on AIM while i'm away. let me clarify, i hate when people try to talk to me when my away message is up. if there's a little yellow note thing next to my name, i'm away. i'm doing something. not sitting in front of the computer waiting for someone to talk to me. so if you start talking to me and ( Read more... )