Palliative Care

[seductivedark]

So the nursing supervisor at my mother's extended care facility called bright and early this morning

Comments

[sistermagpie]

I'm sorry you have to go through this--and had to back then.

I'm a big supporter of Palliative care. I think it's a huge step forward that the medical profession is now starting to embrace it. It's up to the individual person or family, but I think a lot of times it's the best decision. As you said, what's the point of withholding salt from someone if the salt will help them enjoy their food a little more? I remember my mom talking about her mother shutting off her oxygen tank to smoke when she was dying of lung cancer--she couldn't really see a problem with that either at that point.

[seductivedark]

It used to be that this is all they could do. With advances in medicine and technology they can keep the body alive long after hope is gone. The time to prepare for this is way before you start sliding down

[macloudt]

A difficult decision, but for what it's worth I think you're doing the right thing. Your mother's comfort is what's important right now. I'm appalled by the treatment your father was subjected to all those years ago.

[seductivedark]

I've talked to the nursing supervisor okaying palliative care. I think it's a matter of shifting focus, from ramming everybody's head into a wall to no good effect, to doing what is actually kind and necessary.

[seductivedark]

Really sucks, doesn't it? It isn't like saying, yeah, unplug her, but it feels a bit akin to it.

[seductivedark]

Yeah, it's like running up short against a brick wall. It took us ages to stop automatically saying, "Let's ask Daddy" when something came up that he might know about.

Thing with my mom right now is that the same thing is in effect even though she's still with us. She's obsessing on things to the point of not even noticing or caring that you're talking about something different, she can't hear all that well to notice that you're talking about something different and, she can't speak too well so even if she noticed and answered I have a heck of a time understanding her.

She is doing better in the noticing and caring department as of last night. As I mentioned, she's more engaged, has some sense of humor back, smiled and laughed. She's been so close to the edge of stress lately that any cutting back has a noticeable effect.

[horridporrid]

We went through this with my mom, and I was very appreciative that we were allowed to just be with her, and that the concentration was on her comfort. I think it returned to her a dignity that got a little lost when they were fighting for her life.

So much hugs.

[seductivedark]

I went to visit her last night and she was in a much better mood than usual. I'm not sure if that would have followed if the care hadn't been put in place or if she would have been in a good mood anyway. Got her to smile a few times, and to laugh a couple of times. She still thinks they're out to listen to everything she says, believes she's hollow, and kept shushing me but she was a lot more relaxed.

[dumbledore11214]

Hugs Ceridwen. Was just saying to someone else that I am sorry this is the only thing I can offer.

[seductivedark]

My step-sister over in Scotland also says she wishes she could do more but honestly, it's nice to have an ear to vent to. This stoic suffer-in-silence model isn't for me. I'm going to be one cranky old lady, I can tell already. ;)