So, lemme get straight to it. Last night at work, I was fighting off one of my attacks all night. Once I got home, I experienced 3 throughout the course of the night. Not all at one time, but still rather painful & exhausting. Vincent was at work & didn't understand what was going on. He thought I was just being weird. Easy mistake. lol. Anyways, ( Read more... )

As of late, I find myself feeling a lil detached. Maybe that's not the right word. I guess ignored would be it. And the trouble is, I don't know why. A couple weeks ago, I had everybody at my fingertips; guys, friends, family. Mostly guys I'm talking about. And now as I sit here & try to communicate with them, they don't respond. Tony was ( Read more... )

Just woke up from the weirdest dream. I dreamed that there was abunch of people standing in a room, me included. We were all armed with a crapload of weapons - handguns, knives, grenades etc. Everybody's nervous. The guy next to me is sweating. An alarm sounds & the door opens & zombies starts walking in & people start blasting. I work my way ( Read more... )

Pretty much self-explanatory. I'm giving up. I don't really care anymore. I'm so sick of trying. "Find something that makes you happy, something that makes you feel better." Well, what if nothing makes me feel better? Then what? Where do I go from there? People think we say this because we're lazy or we want attention.That's not the case. We say it ( Read more... )

Finally!!  Today was a pretty good day. I feel like I got some sanity back. Not having to work was a HUGE relief. I slept in 'till about 11:30ish. Got up, took a long, hot bubble bath, got dressed & took puppy outside. We played frisbee for a while, then came inside to watch Harry Potter. Nothing too eventful, but very relaxing. I may get to chill ( Read more... )

So yeah. I'm sitting here on a Friday  night with nothing to do. I'm siting here in Carol's house. No plans, no lie. And I'm already depressed. Does it get any worse? CAN it get worse? Jesus I hope not. Otherwise I don't think I can handle it. Why am I so desperate for attention? Like, I really can't stand it & I wish I could change. But it's not ( Read more... )

Went to the beach yesterday & what I experienced there made me question my cultural backround. After laying in the sun for a while, I start to feel his strange sizzling on the back of my thights & my back. I ignore it as long as possible until I get back in the car after Carol & I stop at Wawa on the way home.  I realized that I had gotten sunburnt ( Read more... )

I have tomorrow off & I have no plans (& no money). Any suggestions on what to do to make the time pass? I tried calling one of my man whores, but he has to work. Sad day, I know. It's Summer & it won't last long. I kinda wanna go to the beach, but by myself? And how am I gunna get there? My sis is working too, so she's not available for running ( Read more... )

I think it's hilarious that people feel the need to be involved in & spread drama & rumors. Like life isn't complicated enough? Kurt walks into work & within 5 minutes I'm given the low down on everybody's businees. I really feel like? it's a need he has to forward these bits of imfomation to others. Maybe it's a need for attention? And f it is a ( Read more... )

Got my Jesus on today. Oh yes. I've been going alot lately though. Don't really know why. Maybe because I feel obligated?? Who knows. Anyways, Mom was sick today so she didnt go.  Ended up sitting by my Dad. Usually I try to avoid that, seeing as he's rather large & takes up quite a bit of room. He also figits (much like myself) & between the both ( Read more... )