Let's see what's been going on? ... When it was the six month mark for Grandma's death. I finally gathered up enough courage to visit her grave. It was a hard, emotional time. I just stood there, staring at her name, birth date and death date. Then I curled up my fists and I hit it, asking, no screaming why did she leave me? Why did she have to go ( Read more... )

Do you have ( Read more... )

Take your WINAMP/WINDOWS MEDIA OR iPod PLAYERS FOR THIS ONE! Put your list on shuffle, ask each question out loud, and press play. Write down. NO CHEATING ( Read more... )

The 23th was Day's 50th B-day. I realized that one month after would of been Grandma's 62nd. I'm listening to one of the songs from the Funeral, because I still feel so lost without her. So many memories, and I won't be able to make new ones. So I sit here and cry... always cry when I am alone. I hate how...how her scent is still here, but she's ( Read more... )

Yeah, need an update. Well it's two days before mt 19th birthday. It's going to be weird. It's the first B-day without Binky, Bud, Sugar or Grandma. But you know, I'm not taking as hard anymore. My Mom is...she's been depressed, sleeping more and more. So Friday she goes to the Doctor. She's been crying alot, depressed, sleeping alot, and snapping ( Read more... )

I thought this year could get no worse. It has. Not only did three dogs die, my grandmother died, I was in the hospital at the beginning of November, I am to go get my Tonsils removed December 7th, and while all of this is going on. I get dumped. And get that famous line, "Let's be friends." Yeah... Seven months, Seven fucking months, and now ( Read more... )

Everyone sat back and waited, worried because I haven't had my big cry yet. After a month and four days, I finally fell on the ground yesterday, alone. Then I cried my heart, I screamed and I cried. I screamed for God to bring my Dogs back, My Grandmother back, back to when they were all healthy, before the pain started. I miss her so damn much. ( Read more... )

Have you ever watched someone die? To lay there, suffering, gasping for breath, their eyes rolled back, staring at the ceiling yet staring at nothing at the same time. When they die, you feel an inner peace for just a moment, it's silent for just a moment. Then the tears, the wailing, the crying, it all begins. Death is an end, but also a beginning ( Read more... )

First off, let me apologize for not calling anyone for the last week or so. I've been extremely sick. I lost my voice, my throat swelled up to the point it was blocking my airway. I finally had to go to the hospital Friday. Yes. Rose was in the hospital until Sunday Afternoon. I didn't want anyone there but my Parents. I just wanted my Mom and Dad ( Read more... )

It seems strange to me. I keep waiting, waiting for her to come back from bowling or some working up at Jewish. It's like she's not gone, she can't be dead. Even though she is. It's lonely in the house without her, it's lonely period. I can't joke on her, I can't call her Dingy, I can't... I can't hear her special way of yelling 'SonofBitch'. I ( Read more... )