(Untitled)

[self_non_self]

Lately I've been in a terrible sort of malaise, the kind that stubbornly persists despite a full consciousness of its own ridiculousness. I feel a bit like Elisabet Vogler in Persona, when she stops herself mid-sentence on stage, and a strange expression comes over her face, as if she's just had an epiphany of some sort, a mystical insight into the

Comments

[amadea]

I feel a bit like Elisabet Vogler in Persona...

ha! that's quite a way to feel.

that was my favorite film in college... probably still is - just haven't watched it in way too long.

it's on my shortlist of Films That Are Okay.

[self_non_self]

The hopeless dream of being - not seeming, but being. At every waking moment, alert. The gulf between what you are with others and what you are alone. The vertigo and the constant hunger to be exposed, to be seen through, perhaps even wiped out. Every inflection and every gesture a lie, every smile a grimace. Suicide? No, too vulgar. But you can refuse to move, refuse to talk, so that you don't have to lie. You can shut yourself in. Then you needn't play any parts or make wrong gestures - Or so you thought. But reality is diabolical. Your hiding place isn't watertight. Life trickles in from the outside, and you're forced to react. No one asks if it is true or false, if you're genuine or just a sham. Such things matter only in the theatre, and hardly there either. I understand why you don't speak, why you don't move, why you've created a part for yourself out of apathy. I understand. I admire. You should go on with this part until it is played out, until it loses interest for you. Then you can leave it, just as you've left your other

[residuum]

i think i should look
into this story you
are referring to, for
i feel much like that
myself.

i wonder what was in
the package. Hmm. How
curious.

i love you, as you
should well know.
hee

[self_non_self]

You should definitely see it-
it speaks to me as few films do.
I'm sure you would absolutely
love it. It's just recently
been released on dvd, too.
<3

[residuum]

why thank you for the link!
I will certainly order it through
the library when i get home
in a few days.

<3 much love, of course.

[nir]

hehe. soup nazi.

[self_non_self]

"Um, excuse me, I - I think you forgot my bread."
"Bread, two dollars extra."
"Two dollars? But everyone in front of me got free bread."
"You want bread?"
"Yes, please."
"Three dollars!"
"What?"
"No soup for you!"