Wait, hang on.

FTW doesn't mean Fuck The What?

Oh, bugger.

P.S. Also, revision has eaten my face and now my neck has no friends.

So, hey, I'm going to Wales for a week (not just any week! Next week! Tomorrow, actually! At some unearthly hour which completely negates the concept of God being kind and loving and not just poking us with his trident every now and then and smirking cruelly just by merely existing *!)

* Well, okay, some people also call it seven o'clock. ( Read more... )

So. I was going to buy every one of you something huge and exciting and expensive for Christmas. Because, well, I am a naturally generous and loving person, and I have a large amount of money. In buckets. Coming out of my ears. I have enough money to be able to afford ear enlargement surgery in order to make this actually physically possible ( Read more... )

INSTRUCTIONS ( Read more... )

z:

zed or zed?

(Or, you know, zee. But not really.)

1. An announcement:

I am done with long Livejournal entries. Done. Forthwith, I will be castrating any excess bits of enspeakment (except this one, which doesn't count).

You are looking at selfishlywarm-lite! Diet selfishlywarm! selfishlywarm max! Decaf selfishlywarm! Vanilla selfishlywarm! Lemon selfishlywarm! Lime selfishlywarm! selfishlywarm with extract of cyanide ( Read more... )

"I stooped to pick a buttercup. Why people leave buttocks lying around, I've no idea."

- A Bit Of Fry And Laurie

( You know when you write something that's really good? )

Hello! It's been at least fifty years since I last made an update, but I actually have an excuse and I will post it later, and it will probably involve me swearing at my computer a lot, so that should be fun. Anyway. If you haven't seen the Harry Potter film yet, then here is a summary of about two of the scenes that's just as good as actually ( Read more... )

My hands are about to fall off.

Summer is, evidently, over. It was on the 22nd of August this year and, having come to a rather abrupt end about four hours after it started, was... er, a particularly short one. Even by our standards, which is pleasantly impressive! But, there you go, I suppose. I'm expecting Tony Blair to make a speech about it ( Read more... )

And so, the Ashes are ours! The air is rife with the scent of success (which, considering they've been playing for at least seven hundred bazillion years straight, probably smells suspiciously similar to The Sweet Stench Of Sweat And Decay (which, incidentally, is also the name of Paris Hilton's new perfume ( Read more... )