I want so badly to rant for pages and pages and attempt to relieve this urgency that I carry. Ranting would only dig me deeper. There is absolutely no available medium through which I can explain myself or how I feel because I feel out of place. I feel as if I am intruding on somewhere where I have been for months. My base and stability by which I ( Read more... )

As we made our way, I realized how little I cared of those things on which we once argued. I saw how much we had grown up. I remembered how much I respected your person. Whatever happened the other evening that allowed us to spend that kind of time together, I wish it to continue. But I won't yet dare to wonder.

I seriously think I will have cancer when I'm like 34.

I would tell you of all my life has shown me in these last few weeks and talk of my plans for the next week, but all I did last week was drugs and all I am going to do next week is play a show and do hopefully alot more drugs. You knew of both of these.

apathy is growing and i don't give a

months ago all of this school and worrying and responsibility would cause me to fall into a depressive state and the only thing that could get me out is false hope. thank god. I'm evened, finally. It's like I had PMS for two and a half years and it just disappeared. Being shoved into reality is making me see where I want to be. It excites me. ( Read more... )

work+school.

i wish(for real) that for once our feelings would align and I could get on with this.

I went and picked up ATLiens last weekend and it is great.

I want to party
Life is great

So I have been genuinely happy for several weeks now and I guess that's why I haven't posted in a long time. Thank god this is all I can think to write in this journal.

Having the time of my life sitting here listening to music that allows me to stew in retrospect while pressing me to feel enthusiastic about what is to come.

I've evened out finally. Thank god. It feels so great to lay back at night falling asleep to a great record, and being able to tell yourself how happy you are with the day and the things you said and the stuff you did ( Read more... )

So I am officially the last living blood-Fleming.